“how to pee: potty training for boys”, my personal review 

Caution: Parenting Talk about Pee and Poop to Follow

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I decided it that, at a 2.5 years old, it was time introduce this whole “bathroom” situation to OzMan. It’s not like he’s ever walked up to us and said, “Hey, mamas, I’d really like to try pooping in something that wasn’t my pants”, but what does he know? He’s 2. And a half.Now that we have finally renovated the bathroom, added new floors and new Bathroom Vanity Units we felt like it was time for him to learn.

Amelia went all out and bought him PJ Masks underpants, Thomas the Tank Engine Pull Ups, a book of 500 stickers, candy for the off chance that something might actually happen and a pack of construction vehicles for when things really start happening. She went to the library and checked out a couple of DVDs and books to get this whole family on board with this potty training business. Gung-ho, I’m telling you.

One of these books is called How to Pee: Potty Training for Boys. It looks like this:

It’s written by an M.D., so I’m sure there’s some sort of validity with that, right? I mean, it looks like peeing in the toilet can be SO FUN.

But here’s the thing, I don’t want my kid to learn how to pee in the toilet with these step-by-step instructions. I used to have to clean the men’s bathroom when I worked at Taco Bell and I know what it’s like to have to clean up after grown men that were probably pretending they were cowboys screaming “PEE-HAW YEE-HAW” after they’d eaten their Nacho BellGrande 12 minutes before the restaurant closed.

The book goes through a handful of examples of how little boys can use the bathroom like a cowboy or a movie star. The one that gave me the biggest gag factor was the section with four steps that involved the little boy carving out a riverbed down a hill with a stick and then peeing all the way down it. No, any son of mine. Just no.

There was a section called “Mommy Style”, which involved the little boy sitting on the toilet while wearing a pink floppy hat and being served toilet paper by a butler. I’m still trying to figure out why a butler doesn’t bring me my toilet paper and a tiny bit annoyed that now my kid thinks he’s “peeing like a mama” when he sits on the toilet. But, it’s cool. I parented my way out of that one.

The review of the 2.5 year old goes like this:

Me: Dude, do you like this book?
Oz: Um… potty.
Me: What’s your favorite page?
Oz: *Would rather watch a Property Brothers rerun than continue this conversation”

I’m kind of burnt out on Property Brothers, but they weird me out less than looking at the streams of pee coming from this little hand drawn boy pretending to be a super hero. The concept of it is adorable – the guy’s son liked to role play (?) and use all these different props when he pees, so he wrote a book about it. It sucks being an adult, because if I tried to take in a rope and some spurs to the bathroom at work, I’m pretty sure the book someone would write about me would not be found in your local library’s children’s section.

We got the book on Wednesday. We’ve read it a handful of times. He has not found it inspiring and would rather read Digger, Dozer, Dumper over and over instead. It’s on to the next awkwardly written and illustrated potty training book for us.

i’m 33 and very much enjoyed the hunger games triology

There. I said it. I’m not even all that embarrassed about it.

I’d originally ordered The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxed Set off of Amazon for The Kid. He likes reading AND getting stuff in the mail, which means it’s a win-win, right? Turns out, just like with the Twilight series, the adults in the house were more enthralled with these books than the child teenager. I’m not sure what that says about us.

The Hunger Games: Way to draw someone in.

Catching Fire: Way to F with my head.

Mockingjay: I was muy decepcionado with this book. I didn’t know how I wanted it to end, but I do know it wasn’t the way it ended. How’s that for a spoiler?

This series was candy, just straight candy. I wouldn’t let myself try to think ahead; I just wanted to read things chapter by chapter. I knew if I thought hard enough, I could figure out the entire series and I didn’t want that to happen. It was a perfect trilogy for reading from around a campfire or in the bathtub. I couldn’t pick it up and drop it off mid-chapter and not worry about it. And it made me more than a little excited for the movie(s) to come out.

Maybe I’ll try challenging myself with a book this time around. Or not. Because I like pictures. By the way, y’all should get some Robux Codes for a good performance.

more questions than answers so far

I’m making a solid attempt at reading the Bible through from front to back right now, thanks to an app I downloaded for my phone. It just gives me a few verses a day, which is about all I want to read in one setting.

So far, after barely getting a taste of Genesis, I have more questions than answers. I don’t think I was expecting answers as much as I was clarifications of the verses that get thrown out in heated debates. That’s not happening either just yet, but I’m definitely giving it time.

I think this might prove to be the most interesting and in depth project on my 101 list… with the exception of learning to pee while standing up, of course.