things that are new for us

Once a month. This is how this is happening around here right now, but I feel drawn to at least keep that habit up. I write in my head all the time, but I don’t want anyone up there but me.

And, really, I don’t even want to be there sometimes.

Here’s what’s new with me and those around me:

  • The newest addition to our family has been cooking for 18 weeks. We found out current male/female status, but are waiting for an Etsy order to arrive before we got all cutesy about it. We already told our immediate family, so I literally spent $40 on Etsy just for cutesy social media photos for this baby. That means you all better LOVE IT or at least pretend to love it.
  • I started HR blogging. I don’t know, you guys. It just happened. I’m on just about the same monthly post status as I am here, so I wouldn’t get too excited. But if you’re totally into nerdy HR stuff, I GOT YOU, BOO.
  • My wife started her new job this week. Huge shift for our fam and we’re still adjusting, but I think we’re gonna make it. And then we’ll shift again when the tiniest Berry baby arrives, but that’s a while off yet.
  • Oz and I went to Missouri again. He wasn’t quite as much of a champ on the drive down as he was back in May, mainly because he was not interested in napping and the second he napped was right about the same time I needed to stop and get gas. This kid loves his family so much and they love him. It’s precious to watch.
  • Good news is that we haven’t been to the emergency room yet with Daredevil Oz, despite the fact that he’s trying to stand on the seat of his bike to ride it over to the basketball hoop just so he can slam dunk his ball. We’ll see how this one ends.
  • Uh… that’s it.

We’re not action packed over here right now. We’re doing adult shit and being grownup and trying to avoid hiring someone to come clean out our gutters, but I’m pretty sure there’s a tree growing in one of them. Does anyone have a gigantic ladder we can borrow?




goodbye first trimester

We’re having another baby. I forget to post big things here anymore because it’s much easier to announce things in 140 characters or less. But since I’ve used this blog for pretty much every life altering event over the past 17+ years, I feel like I should elaborate for historical purposes.

Meet our new baby:

Well, there are a few differences now that I look at the picture:

And really, even if this kid comes out green, I’m cool with that, I just hope that everything else turns out great so there are no complications during birth. Even if there are any complications, I can always contact a birth defect law firm for legal assistance on how I can handle it.

The process wasn’t nearly as easy for this early-2018 baby was it was for the soon-to-be big brother. I don’t know if we had unrealistic expectations this time or we’re just older, more mature (or geriatric according to my wife’s medical records…), or what, but it was tough to get to this point. Here’s how it worked with him:

  • February 10th, 2014: IUI procedure at our reproductive doctor’s office
  • February 25th, 2014: Multiple pregnancy tests were turning up positive.
  • Early March 2014: Couldn’t see his heartbeat, waited two weeks, finally saw his heartbeat.
  • November 2014: Ozzy was born and I didn’t blog about it. SORRY, SON.

This future baby worked like this:

  • Repeat Step 1 from above on in November 2016, December 2016, January 2017, March 2017 and May 2017. We had to skip February and April due to a couple of medical things that need to resolve themselves, and we only had one more shot that was covered by insurance.
  • May 18th: some positive pregnancy tests after a handful of negative ones in the span of about three days.
  • June 7th: Saw a heartbeat and a tiny ball of cells and graduated from the reproductive clinic a couple of weeks after that (which is a big deal in the TTC world).
  • July 6th: Saw an even better heartbeat, a wiggling little almost fetus and got the thumbs up that everything was looking pretty good.

And that’s where we are now. I really, really, really always have the best of intentions to write more about the process because I want to remember all of it… and then life gets in the way. A big part of life as it is right now includes a shaggy haired two year old with a farmer tan who really enjoys the phrase “WATCH THIS” and watching Moana and Cars on a rotation.

celebrating the day previously known as blogging for #LGBTQ families

There used to be this big deal on June 1st that was touted as Blogging for LGBT Families day or something like that. GLAAD would talk about it, the Family Equality Council provided a directory for it and it was kind of a big deal. But the last time I can find anything about it being actually “promoted” was 2014. I don’t know what happened, but I’m doing it today. (Quick edit because I’m not good at Googling: there is a Blogging for LGBT Families Day out there this year. Hooray!!)
I read a lot in different Facebook groups about other LGBT families encountering different bouts of discrimination or harassment, or even being questioned as if they’re really even a family. That really sucks. I also hear about non-biological parents not knowing how to respond when someone says their kid(s) look like them. I have other opinions on that. Point is, no matter what laws are passed or how many rainbow flags wind up in the air during the month of June, we can’t BE like other families we’re not acknowledged AS families. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. 

We’re pretty fortunate so far when it comes to being treated like a family. My name is on Ozzy’s birth certificate and it has been from the moment we filled it out. We live in a state that’s supportive of gay rights, so even if the current national administration decides to turn LGBT rights into their next distraction and turns it all over to the individual states, we’ll probably be “safe” with our current state leaders. I’m at least telling myself that so I can sleep at night. 
The political climate for the LGBT community is terrible. It’s uncomfortable and it’s unpredictable. Those things don’t make it quite as easy for an LGBT family because those are things that can lead to taking away the same familial conveniences that non-LGBT families don’t have to worry about on a regular basis. These things are forcing people like me to file legal paperwork to the courts to complete a second parent adoption for my son despite my name being listed on his birth certificate so we can keep our family intact. Does that seem right?

I’m proud of who I am and the path I took to get to all that I am today. I’m proud that my path took me to my wife and took us both to our son. And I’m proud of our family. My pride isn’t something that anyone will ever be able to take away from me. Try not to forget that.