Oreo posted this over the weekend and it’s absolutely the most adorable thing in the world. I don’t understand why small-minded individuals are looking at this fake cookie as something to protest about. If you boycott Oreo, you’ll need to boycott Nabisco. That means you’re going to say good bye to Chips Ahoy!, Fig Newtons, Ritz Crackers, Teddy Grahams, Triscuit, Wheat Thins, Nutter Butter, and the ultimate trashy road trip food: Chicken in a Biskit.
And oh wait just a second here. I have bad news for you, ignorant folk of ‘Merica! Nabisco is a subsidary of Kraft, which means you’ll need to clear out your cabinets of: A1 Steak Sauce, Crystal Light, Cheez Whiz, Cool Whip, CornNuts, Capri Sun, Miracle Whip, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Jell-O, Shake ‘n Bake, Velveeta, and the best thing to wash down your nasty Chicken in a Biskit: TANG.
Here’s the thing: give us one weekend to go overboard about our own personal pride, you know? Just because a company wants to throw a little support behind us doesn’t meant they’re the devil. Go ahead and be mad at them. I know I do when I can’t put away the Double Stuff Oreos, but stop getting so crazy about a fake cookie.
Instead, you should get pissed at the Minnesota for Marriage people that think gay people should be killed. Because, you know, THAT’S ILLEGAL AND STUFF.
(I’m sorry I hate the chocolate part of Oreos. Riley eats them for me. That’s safe for a dog, right?)