i can’t #tweetyour16yearoldself

I can’t Twitter this, because I have way more things to tell my 16 year old self than I can list in 140 characters, like everyone else is on Twitter today. But if I had to tell my 16 year old self a few things, it’d go a little like this:

  • Be decent to your little brother. Yeah, he’s an annoying little a-hole at 13 years old, but it’s just because he’s 13.
  • Don’t listen to your guidance counselor. She has plans for you that don’t at all match your plans. Don’t let her trick you into taking classes you don’t need!
  • You don’t have to feel bad about not wanting to go to dances. Ten years from now, everyone’s going to make fun of the douchey dresses all the girls wear.
  • Talk your dad into letting you practice driving a little more. That two miles to your grandparents that you’ve driven a billion times is going to cause you to fail your driver’s test. Twice.
  • Maybe drop Latin II and take Spanish for the next couple of years. Open book tests and watching your teacher smoke outside the door may seem like a good idea, but it will very likely never come up again. You’re only going to remember that agricola means farm, puer means boy, and homo means man.
  • If you quit pretending you twist your ankle during basketball practice just so you don’t have to run lines anymore, you’ll probably realize that you’re a pretty damn good baller!
  • You don’t need a boyfriend.
  • Basketball jerseys will ALWAYS be in fashion. You should wear them all the time.

Oh wait. I already knew that last one.

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