this is monumental

And I think you should all bookmark this.

I’m seriously tired of pretty much everything on TV.

My DVR is full of different stuff – America’s Got Talent, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Intervention, Top Chef Masters, and I don’t know what else. I like watching TV, I do. In fact, it’s my favorite way to wind down shortly before going to bed. But lately, I honestly can’t handle it.

We just watched the latest Jon & Kate Plus 8 and within the first ten minutes, The General asked why we were even watching the show because I’d already threatened bodily harm on both Jon and Kate. I hate Kate’s hair and her sense of entitlement and after catching up on my daily newsfeed of Perez Hilton (shut up, it’s totally true), I think it’s safe to say that Jon’s a giant douchebag. His popped up collar of his rugby shirt on tonight’s episode sealed the deal on the douchebag status for me.

After that, I noticed there was an episode of America’s Got Talent from yesterday. I made it all the way through the introductions before I had to fast forward Mr. Mariah Carey’s idle chit-chat with David Hasselhoff. During my brief bitch session about how stupid the Hoff was, I managed to come up with a plan on what I’d want to audition with should I ever get the opportunity to try out for America’s Got Talent. I’m going to do a remake of this video:

Laying on the floor drunk eating a cheeseburger? I can totally win$1,000,000 and a show in Vegas for something like that. Who wouldn’t pay inflated ticket prices to see me doing a show like that at some fancy hotel on the strip?

What's up?