gas followed by mass

The General™ and I just returned home from a lovely Saturday night date that included a trip to the dog park, followed by a romantical (in the words of Flavor Flav) dinner at Denny’s on Lake Street in Minneapolis. We know how to live it up with the rest of them.

After we left, we were strolling down the street and I farted. Loudly. And I apparently looked at The General™ and made a face as if I were grunting, which was completely unintentional. It’s possible it was a very loud fart, but hi – it’s been almost two months, so it was bound to happen. Plus, The General™ has not only farted on my living room floor, but also ON MY LEG WHILE WE WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH (and was allegedly sick at the time). So, we’re kind of even.

This led to a discussion about how sometimes it’s possible to accidentally let out a little dookie while you’re passing gas. Or, as the awesome Urban Dictionary says, gas followed by mass.

It’s possible this may have happened to me while walking back to work from lunch in the not so distant past. Luckily, I hadn’t unpacked my camping gear, so I had an extra pair of drawers in the back of my car. I swapped out the sharty bloomers for the nice clean ones and all was well.

But I know I’m not the only one that’s had that happen. Right? RIGHT?


  1. We always use the Peter Griffin/Family Guy method. It’s based on an episode where Peter was at Parents’ Night at school and the teacher asked him a question. He needed to fart, so he said “Noooooooooooooo” to cover the fart. And then another “Noooo.” And then “No no no no no!”

    So every once in a while, one of us will back into a corner and say “Noooooooooooo.”

    I hope this doesn’t mean the magic is gone…. :)

  2. Only recently has the topic come up in our household. Took us 15 months to get there! Y’all are ahead of the curve. Or less uptight.

  3. Julie

    Swear to god….married for 10 years, with Jeff for 15…and I STILL do not fart in front of him. I avoid even taking a shit when he is home…If I have to I go to a completely different floor. Isn’t that insane? All of my friends make fun of me.

    He farts and shits all he wants in front of me. I wish I could….it sounds liberating. lol

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