There are a lot of different ways I’ve longed to be featured on ESPN.com (or ESPN or ESPN the Magazine). Maybe writing an article, or interviewing a baseball team in the lockerroom after they’ve own a championship of somewhere so I can get doused in champagne and wear goggles. Or maybe even a feature done on me, because hey – the WNBA is going to break one of their rules and allow people that haven’t graduated from college are over the age of 30, and not care that I refuse to run back and forth down the court the entire time and just wanted to shoot three-pointers.
But no, that didn’t happen. Not at all.
Here’s the article (thanks to Matt for pointing it out!). You have to scroll down towards the end where there’s discussion of a facial hair debate. The paragraph where my long-armed photos are featured not once, but twice reads like this:
2006: Twins catcher Joe Mauer’s sideburns become a local phenomenon, as they’re featured in a team commercial. In addition, Twins hold a sideburn giveaway night for mustache and beard comb, trimming and growing enthusiasts (additional pics here, and here, and here). “There was even speculation that Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty grew out his sideburns to become more popular before running for re-election,” writes reader Mark Ryan. “He won, and the state now has a billion-dollar deficit, illustrating what can happen when the power of sideburns is used for the wrong reasons.”
And two of those links (the last two in parentheses) are self-portraits of me. Sigh.
Seriously, though? Funniest thing ever.