Someone jumped off our favorite cruise ship!
According to a news release from the Coast Guard, the woman had been traveling with her boyfriend on the Costa Mediterranea when "she had become angry and agitated and then unexpectedly jumped overboard."
Knowing what I know about the Costa Mediterranea and being obsessed with each and everyone one of it’s cruising schedules, I’m 99% sure the lady was going on the same cruise we went on in January. And I also happen to know that if it was reported at 1:18 a.m on Sunday morning, that means they’d just left Ft. Lauderdale six hours ago!
Lady. You paid for that cruise, you idiot. Or maybe your boyfriend did, but still. Jump at the end, dumbass. Not at the beginning. You totally missed a day in Key West yesterday, and trust me, you would have loved it a lot.
And really, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think anyone on that boat is concerned that you’re not there. Including your boyfriend. Unless he pushed you, because I don’t see any guy looking longingly off the back of the boat, waiting for you to swim by.