I was going to make this password protected, but A) I couldn’t think of a password and B) I didn’t want to have to answer five billion emails asking what the password was, because I can’t think of an easier way to let people know how to read all of my top secret thoughts.
In any case, today has been a shitty day.
- My back, thanks to eight hours of baking cookies this weekend, could quite possibly crumble at any second. Ever since The Wreck of ’06, it’s never been the same, and that means I know have to pay out of pocket to visit my friend the chiropractor. Lovely. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, lay, cough, and pee. Yep, that pretty much covers it.
- Due to allergies, Riley can’t stay inside at my parents house anymore. He has to stay in the garage, which not only scares me, but also makes me sad. A whole hell of a lot sadder than I thought it would.
- Old Navy doesn’t sell the douchey slip on canvas shoes like they sell online, and I hate the idea of paying a whopping $5 in shipping just because they’re too stupid to carry plus size clothes AND men’s shoes in the stores.
- I’m supposed to bring clothes down to Missouri that are appropriate for a Christmas Eve church service. So, do I A) dress like myself or B) dress like the small town Baptist church going young lady that will fit in?
- Each trip to my hometown brings on more and more anxiety before I start the drive down. Each trip back makes me consider therapy a little more than the last time.
- The season finale of I Love New York 2 is on tonight and if the spoiler video I saw last night was accurate, I’m going to be furious. I get emotionally attached to these desperate reality TV dating idiots, and when they make bad decisions, I don’t even feel sad for them – I just want to give them a roundhouse right into the boobs or a strong knee to the ding-ding.
- Did I mention my back hurts and I still have to carry down a giant suitcase, Riley’s 20 lb back of dog food, and a good two dozen presents?
I’ll love my life again tomorrow, but right now, I just want to go to sleep and wake up to all of the above list just magically disappearing. FAT CHANCE.