black snake moan? nearly the worst ever

I knew I’d be staying in today, so I swung by my favorite new thing ever – Redbox. It’s the whole movie rental vending machine that costs a buck a day, and you can’t really beat that. I picked up Black Snake Moan, because I wanted to give Justin Timberlake a third chance with his acting skills after Alpha Dog and Edison both made me want to vomit. My short review? I still kind of want my $1 back, because it wasn’t even worth that. Maybe I’d be happy with maybe a 37 cent refund.

J.T., former love of my life, you need to stick to one thing, son, and acting in movies is not it. Dressing up like an egg? Feel free to do that any old time. Feel the need to glue on some horrible facial hair and stick your genitals in a box? I’m okay with that, too. And of course you can bring Sexy Back whenever you need to.

I just really, really wish you’d stop throwing yourself into movies that have big name actors and hoping they’ll greatness and/or top billing will make you an awesome actor. It ain’t happenin’. Ever.

What's up?