Tomorrow night is our first softball game. I’m not really looking forward to it. It’s probably because I didn’t go to any of the three practices that we had, but I think it’s more than that.
Honestly, if I had to pick between hitting the gym and playing an hour long game of softball, I’d pick the gym in a heartbeat.
I’m not even really down with staying after the game and drinking like I have the past couple of years.Â I’d much rather be sweating my ass of in the gym with the dude that wears the Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt every day and the boy that changes shirts three times in the course of his hour long workout. Those are my people now and the gym is my place. The softball field just doesn’t benefit me as much as it used to.
(Is this the best retirement speech ever, or what?)
I’ll go to the gym tonight and then spend a while at the batting cages a few miles away, just to make sure that I still know how to swing a bat. Then, i’ll go home and try to find my glove and my cleats so I can actually look like a real player tomorrow.Â Since I missed all the practices, I’ll sit on the bench until there are about two innings left, and then I’ll go in as catcher and just fuck with the batters’ heads long enough to make them want to hit me in the face with their aluminum bat.
It’ll be a good night. And then there will be 9 games after that, which will play out exactly the same.