two dolla

And that means you’re about to get a Booby-Q reminder.

Please don’t deny your love for boobs any longer. Come to our Booby-Q and we’re guaranteeing you’ll get lei’d. There’s no other party in the Twin Cities on Saturday night that can make that same guarantee.

Take a look at this equation:

Food + Beer/Soda + Fun + Getting Lei’d = AWESOME

And you can get all of that AWESOME for only $15.

Plus, you can hang with me, meet my dog, see my new apartment, and meet some of my awesome friends that are already going to be there.

I really don’t feel the need to justify this any further. I’ll just plan on seeing you all there, right?

"You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day"

Even though, personally, I didn't think it was a bad day at all.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is honestly one of the most awesome tattoos I’ve ever seen.

Mary Wohlford, an 80-year-old from Decorah, Iowa, walked into a tattoo shop in Galena, IL in February and got some ink. She even talked the shop owner into giving her a senior citizen discount.

She even told him that she’d bring a “busload of old ladies” over to his shop, if he’d give her a 10 percent cut.

When I’m 80, please let me be this awesome.

The full article is here, thanks to boingboing.net.

Oh, Elliott. I love you. The Internet loves you (or at least Y does). I hope the rest of the phone-dialing world loves you, because I could only get in three times tonight. But, Elliott, I want you to know those three times were with so much love and admiration that they should have counted as 30,291,670 votes. And if they don’t, I’ll start a petition and all that stuff. I promise.

So, the final three.

Read the rest of this entry »

• Lists have been easy for me, because I don’t have a great deal of content on absolutely anything but white rappers, American Idol, and baseball. None of which appeal to me right this very second.
• Riley had a visit to the groomer tonight. He smells like a girl now. This is 23 times better than his previous scent - dirty ass.
• I went to a dance recital on Saturday and thorougly enjoyed it. It was 1.5 hours of little kids. You’d enjoy it too or you’d have no soul.
• I cooked dinner again tonight - chicken (like IN the oven!) and cottage cheese. I’m all about protein.
• Season finale of How I Met Your Mother? YAY! Although, I don’t think it could have ended any other way.
• Survivor finale? I figured the result would be what it was once it was down to the final two. I might write more about that tomorrow.
• I have a strict bedtime of 11:00 this week. Or at least tonight. My iron count’s been super lately (not that I had it tested, but I’m guessing, because I’ve been so damned tired and groggy and fatigued), and I need to supplement my iron supplements with some supplemental sleep. I like the word supplement. It makes me think of Rumplemint. Or however else you spell that alcoholic drink that tastes like shit.

This Saturday, May 20th - remember when I told you to mark your calendars? This is why!

We’re having a Hawaiian-style fundraising BBQ and raising money for boobs at the same time. There’s a $15 cover, but includes all of the BBQ and beer you could possibly dream of. You know that’s a good deal.

Let me know if you’re going to be there… or if you’d like directions, or whatever. I promise it’s not in the hood, except for the 13-year-old pot smoking wannabe thugs that taunt my dog as they walk by. But they’re cool. And they’re not invited.

Email me with questions, RSVPs, stock tips, and love poems. If you’re reading this, that automatically means I want to see you there!

Overall, I will have to say White Rapper Movie Night was a hit. And I have photographic evidence to prove that.

Jenni and Sean use lyric sheets to make sure they can rap the entire song of “Ice, Ice Baby”. I did not need them. Naturally.

And then we watched 8 Mile, where we saw Eminem’s bare white ass. We zoomed in and took pictures. It seemed appropriate.

1. We Danced Anyway - Deana Carter
2. Fly Fly Fishing Poles - Spymob
3. Smells Like Funk - Black Eyed Peas
4. Strawberry Fields - Ben Harper
5. From Me to You - The Beatles
6. All American Girl - Melissa Etheridge
7. Dangerous Game - 3 Doors Down
8. Something to Believe In - Poison
9. No Such Things - John Mayer
10. We Can Work it Out - The Beatles

It’s funny, because I don’t really listen to The Beatles all that much. Maybe this is a sign I should.

I’ll think about that sign while attending White Rapper Movie Night (WRMN, for short) tonight. WRMN is going to sweep the nation soon… just as soon as more white rappers make movies.

The Minnesota Twins are getting closer and closer to getting things rolling for building a new stadium. We need one. The Metrodome, where the play now, is shared with the Minnesota Freakshow Vikings, sometimes the Minnesota Gopher’s football teams, and even rollerblading around the concourse level when there aren’t any games scheduled. The Twins have been playing under their currnet teflon cover since 1982.
Being in Minnesota, it would be ideal to have a dome like we have now, but better yet? A retractable roof like the one the Milwaukee Brewers play under. This is actually part of the Senate’s plan in passing the current bill to build a new stadium. I’ve been to Miller Park a couple of times, and it’s absolutely fabulous. You still get the feeling that you’re outside, but in April and/or October, Minneapolis is prone to feet of snow. Not exactly ideal baseball playing weather, no?

As it turns out, though, a roof isn’t an option with the new stadium. The StarTribune reports “the cost and construction delays would be too much to bear.”

“We’d like to have a roof. We’d also like to have Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez,” (Twins Sports Inc. president Jerry) Bell said. “But we cannot afford them.” [link]

Tony Batista and Nick Punto. That’s what we have instead.

So, I’m thinking if the Senate and House of Representatives would pass a bill that would allow us to get Derek Jeter (even though I hate him) and Alex Rodriguez instead of a stadium with a retractable roof, I would so be down with that.

I’m a loyal Survivor fan. LOYAL, I tell you. The finale is this coming Sunday. The final hour of the finale is during Desperate Housewives’ second to last show of the season. Not acceptable.

I’m a one Tivo household without a VCR. I guess I can always download the episode of Desperate Housewives from iTunes or something, right? Not watching it is not an option, because (brace yourself for this…) OHMIGOD I will die if I miss an episode where Susan and Mike have even more chemistry than they do in each and every prior episode.

I have a feeling that my overwhelming obsession with the mangled love stories in Desperate Housewives pushes me toward the scary realm of Girly Girl (or Gay Man), but I’m certain my obsessions with Fantasy Baseball, Pinball, and White Rappers certainly counteract.