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This is what he does anytime I have the patio door open. He loves it so much that he managed to bust through the screen door within a week of living here.

At only 9 months, my dog can already piss letters in the snow. Notice the T. It’s partly because when he pees, he sometimes pees in three streams.

Fresh from the groomer’s on Sunday, his pretty orange handkerchief only lasted about 15 minutes after we got home. He’d had enough.

And, of course, there are a few more here.

I’m watching Trading Spaces right now, because that is quite possibly the most awesome thing to do on a Saturday night. They’ve said the word mojito approximately 14 times in the last three minutes.

And, if you haven’t watched “Little People, Big World” on TLC, you don’t know what you’re missing.

This is my first Saturday night that I’ve actually stayed in my apartment since moving in almost a month ago. I decided to live it up hardcore, can’t you tell?

After our quick evening romp in the hockey rink across the street, my dog is happily licking his asshole, so I’m going to happily post my Friday Shuffle. I just sync’ed my iPod for the first time in five months. Maybe I’ll actually have some good music show up?

1. Born to Lose by Ray Charles
2. H.A.R.M.A.R by Har Mar Superstar
3. Some Kind of Miracle by Kelly Clarkson
4. Things Goin’ On by Lynyrd Skynyrd
5. Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash
6. Crazy for This Girl by Evan and Jaron
7. Kyle Quit the Band by Tenacious D
8. Sweet Jane by Cowboy Junkies
9. Crazy Love by Bryan McKnight
10. Trapped in a Box by No Doubt

Now my weekend may properly begin.

It’s probably inappropriate that I regularly catch my dog standing with his hind legs on my couch and front legs on my coffee table, but it’s also highly amusing.

What else is inappropriate and not highly amusing? The fact that Duke lost in the NCAA Tournament tonight. I had them picked to win it all, like I always do, and now I am officially done gaining points in the bracket because the rest of my teams got knocked out in earlier games. I’m glad I didn’t put any money on my picks this year, that’s for sure.

I came home from work, did the dogwalking thing, and now I have nothing to do. I mean, there’s always unpacking or laundry or cleaning, but I forgot how nice it was to be able to sit in my own living room, watching whatever I want on TV, and not worrying about bothering anyone. I like this living alone thing.

After work, I noticed I had three missed calls on my cell phone from my apartment’s lobby phone. I always hate it when that happens, because I never know what’s going on!

My life is brilliant.

This year’s 3 Day is so exciting for me. Being part of a bigger and more local team is probably one of the highlights of it this year.

My cousin has been knitting scarves and has raised $110 for me so far, and she’s planning on knitting even more.
Our team has raised over $11,000, with just under 5 months to go before the walk. As co-captains, Jenni and I decided to up our team goal from $20,000 to $25,000. It’s for boobs! We can find another $5000 in donations somewhere, right?

We’ve baked thousands of cookies and whipped together over a thousand truffles. We’ve hawked pink breast cancer awareness wristbands for twice the cost. It’s quite obvious. People love boobs.

Yesterday, I mailed out 40 letters to area businesses asking for raffle prize donations for our April 22nd Bowling Party. We’ve already received over $400 worth of raffle prizes - concert tickets, gift certificates, gift baskets.

I realized yesterday that by the time the walk rolls around (August 18-20), I’ll have been fundraising for 10 months. And I LOVE IT.

Needless to say, i’ll never be an Alfonso Soriano Superfan due to his time spent wearing pinstripes for the Yankees.

Then, the other day, I read about his little stunt of refusing to take the field because he wasn’t playing secondbase for his new team, the Washington Nationals. In high school and/or college, if you try to pull that shit, I have a feeling you’re going to be riding some pine.

But if you’re Alfonso Soriano and are gonna get paid $10 million this year, I guess it’s A-OKAY to pull a shenanigan like that.  Especially if the next day, he changes his mind and decides he’s ready to play now.

Soriano agreed to take his new spot in the outfield for an exhibition game Wednesday, two days after refusing to move from second base.

Gee, that was awful big of him.

I love sports; I just don’t love very many professional atheletes.

My cousin is doing an awesome, awesome thing. Last month, she knitted this scarf and held an auction for on it on her blog. It brought in $50 that all went straight to my fundraising efforts for The 3 Day. And, thank you, Jodi, for winning that auction!

She just finished knitting Boobie Scarf #2. I don’t know a lot about knitting. I used one of my knitting needles to turn hot dogs on a grill last summer. And I don’t know a lot about yarn. But I do know that my cousin worked really hard on these, and they look absolutely amazing. How could you not want to bid on a scarf that has 3-D BOOBS on it, complete with nipples! Check out the pictures of it here and jump on in with the bidding. It all goes directly to The 3 Day.

I had the World’s Longest American Idol Review almost completely written last night, but then, wouldn’t you know it, I lost it. You can read the shortened version in the extended entry.

Next week, I promise to save it more frequently. Or something.

Read the rest of this entry »

I am really hoping what I just read isn’t true, but rumor has it that this week’s American Idol will feature the remaining 11 artists singing 50’s songs, with Barry Manilow guest judging. Does he guest judge every year?

Here’s the deal. I haven’t told you what I think about this year’s contestants yet, so I’m going to right now! Ever since I did some guest blogging for Daria over at Song Obsessed while she was sick, I’ve been itching to post some more AI recaps. NOW I CAN!

Ace Young - HOT. But not a winner.

Bucky Covington - makes me feel weird.

Chris Daughtry - I love him. I think he rocks hardcore and he’s my favorite.

Elliott Yamin - couldn’t have told you who he was in the auditions, but am really starting to like him a lot.

Katharine McPhee - I can’t really remember much of her.

Kellie Pickler - is she serious? I can’t handle the idiot routine any longer.

Kevin Covais - I have no idea how he got this far. But I’ll be sad when he leaves. Is he 6?

Lisa Tucker - Amazing. But forgettable five seconds later for me.

Mandisa - I LOVE HER. I’ve loved her since her audition. Amazing voice and amazing attitude.

Melissa McGhee - Glad to see her gone.

Paris Bennett - Adorable, but not ready yet. At least not ready for me to buy her CD.

Taylor Hicks - Who is this guy? I want to like him, because he’s so fun, but I don’t know that I could listen to a whole Taylor Hicks CD, ya know?

But first I’m going to track down the assclown that’s running up and down the second floor halls and crack him in the nuts with a meat cleaver. Except I don’t have a meat cleaver. I never have a meat cleaver.