two dolla

I was so excited to wear sandals this morning that it didn’t matter they were two differnet Doc Martens. Brown is brown and that’s all that matters, right?

I graduated from Smith-Cotton High School in 1996. Um, go Tigers, or something. It’s to no surprise that nobody has started planning our 10 year reunion that should be taking place this summer/fall. I could have a jolly time right now mentioning all the names that I would love to make fun of, but Google picks those things up and that’d be bad. We’ll wait until after the reunion.

Thanks to the wonders of myspace.com, I’ve connected with a few old classmates, which has been kinda fun. And, as it turns out, we’ll be planning the 10 year reunion! Yes, laughing may begin riiiiiight now.

We had a five year reunion at the VFW in Sedalia, where my high school guidance counselor was in charge of the beer cups. I think giving her a $5 bill and taking a plastic cup from her was a more fulfilling experience then taking my diploma from her during graduation. I still don’t forgive her for making me take Chemistry in high school when I really didn’t have to. Becoming intoxicated and humping large blue mailboxes was my little tribute to her that evening.

I’ve spent the morning trading emails back and forth with Angie, one of my oldest friends from home. We met in 1st grade. She broke her arm and I had to hold her desk open for her. How cute is that? You wouldn’t think it was so cute if I told you that we were making fun of all of our former classmates in the worst way possible right now.

But she’s going to help plan this badass reunion, too, so that should make it even more fun!

What makes my dog more awesome than yours?

Probably the fact that he takes his food and water bowls out of their containers and repeatedly bangs them against my leg until I do something with them. What he hasn’t learned is that he doesn’t get food at 11:30 PM no matter how cute and/or persistent he might be.

If he eats now, he shits four hours later. I am not getting up at 3:30 AM because someone wanted a midnight snack.

This is why I don’t have kids yet. That, and you can’t throw a kid in a kennel when you go to work during the day either. Dogs have their advantages.

There’s someone in the parking lot behind my apartment building shooting off fireworks. They’re as excited at me about the results of tonight’s American Idol apparently. I am not, however, at all happy that people won’t vote for Elliott. Yes, he looks like a hobbitt, but he’s so sweet and sincere and can sing like crazy. Vote for him next week. C’mon. You know you want to.

Rod Stewart is next week’s celebrity. So, yeah. Rod Stewart. This could actually be helpful to Ace. I’m not liking that possibility.

I intentionally don’t even know enough Rod Stewart songs to make a guess on what the seven remaining contestants will choose. I don’t even like Rod Stewart, do I?

Maybe if it were Sting.

• Bags of Poop. Hey, asshole. When you think it’s cute to have your 16-year-old buddy in the backseat pretend he’s a dog and bark at my dog, guess what? Chances are I’m carrying a bag of fresh dog shit. It takes all the willpower I have not to rifle it into your passenger side window as you drive by in your 1986 Ford Tempo. You’re going to be surprised when you see good my aim is.
• Working Late. If it were up to me, I would work about 11am to 7pm. I was at work until 6pm tonight, and the last hour and a half was the most productive I’d been in a long while. I consider it further evidence as to why I should either A) have an office of my own or B) work from home on a regular basis. I’m a rockstar when there’s not a ton of commotion going around all over the place. Easily distracted? Yeah, that’s me.
• Cooking. I think I’m going to make some food this weekend that I can freeze for lunches/dinners. I’m tired of paying other people to make my food, and figure it’d be awesome to have stuff in my ‘fridge besides liquids and cottage cheese. Only thing? I don’t know how to cook, so it’ll have to be some easy stuff. This is where your suggestions come in to play.
• TV. Why does American Idol have to run three minutes into Lost? Now I have to wait and see who gets the boot, because I’m not missing the first three minutes of Lost.

Since sometime Sunday afternoon, I thought I had pulled a muscle. It doesn’t hurt if I’m just sitting or not moving. If I decide I want to, oh, BREATHE, then it decides to feel like someone jabbing a dull garden hoe into my rib cage. In other words, it’s not pleasant.

I talked to my Gym Buddy™ again this morning and he figured it wouldn’t hurt to have it checked out. With only a $15 co-pay, it’s hard to turn that down. I left work early and went into urgent care, since it usually takes two weeks to make an actual appointment with any doctor there.

I explained the symptoms to the LPN that took down my vitals. She tried to convince me I had a cold and it just hurt from coughing. After I gave her the number of reasons why I knew it wasn’t a cold, she finally put me into a room to wait for the doctor. The doctor listened to me take some huge breaths and said she couldn’t heard anything in my lungs, so that would rule out pneumonia. THANKS, GENIUS.

She explained to me the muscles that were around that area. Thanks, I know. Then, she decided that I might have pleurisy, but she wanted me to get some x-rays to rule out a cracked rib. This time, the x-rays came out fine, and let me tell ya - there’s nothing to top off the end of your day then staring at your rib cage and other various organs on a huge computer monitor. I kinda wanted copies of them. This is also the third chest x-ray I’ve had done in a six month time period.
The final diagnosis is either a pulled latissimus dorsi or pleurisy, but she wasn’t sure which. She gave me five days worth of an anti-inflammatory (prednisolone, to be exact), which will allegedly help with either one of the scenarios.

Whatever. I’m missing a softball practice and paintball because of it, not to mention the workouts I could be getting in. Frustrating, indeed.

I didn’t actually blog American Idol live tonight. Why? Because I was getting chest x-rays (again) and apparently so was everyone else in the entire metro area.

During his always-lame intro to the show, Ryan Seacrest asks if anyone can match up to Freddie Mercury. That’s like asking if anyone is going to match up to Stevie Wonder or Elton John. The answer is no, Ryan. Don’t ask stupid questions anymore.

It looks like all of the songs I mentioned earlier today were accurate. That could be bad. Or hopefully good. I’m still sad there’s no Bicycle Song.  Maybe all of my wildest fantasies will come true and Clay Aiken will make a special experience to sing it. A girl can dream.

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Queen is the featured artist on AI tonight. This, of course, coincides with the tour they’re about to start, or maybe have already started.

I don’t know how accurate the rest of the information on this post is, but I figured I’d post it anyway. The contestants and their song choices are listed below. I’ve given my thoughts on each of them, but we’ll see how accurate it is come show time.

Don’t click on “Read rest of this entry” if you don’t want to know some possible show-spoiling information.
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Cardio:

18 minutes on recumbent bike - 4.42 miles/14.73 mph

• done on level 6 keeping 95+ rpm

Weights:

Bench
65lbs - 10x; 75lbs - 8x; 70lbs - 8x, 8x

Bent over rows
65lbs - 10x; 75lbs - 8x, 8x

Military Press (bench)
45lbs - 8x, 8x; 25lbs - 10x, 10x*
Curls (machine)
45lbs - 10x; 35lbs - 8x, 8x, 8x

Pectoral Fly
15lbs - 10x; 25lbs - 8x, 8x

The military presses were done with just bars. It’s a very awkward lift when you’re not doing it with dumbbells. The ones with the 25lbs bar were done behind my head. Yes, I was showing off. Sometimes you have to do that when you’re getting ready for the GUN SHOW.

At some point yesterday afternoon, I pulled the holy hell out of my left latissimus dorsi. That’s the muscle right above your kidney. It hurts really bad today, and I’m completely skipping the gym tonight because of it. I have specific icing instructions from the Gym Buddy™, so we’re hoping I’ll be back in the saddle on the bike tomorrow night, at least for cardio.

Last year, (Charlize) Theron – who won a 2004 Oscar for her role as real-life lesbian serial killer Aileen Wuornos in Monster – told TV’s Extra that she and longtime boyfriend Stuart Townsend would not wed until gay marriage is legal in the U.S. [link]

I, for one, am a huge fan of gay marriage. The arguments against it to make any sense to me, and it just smells like a stinking pile of shit when people try to put it down. With the current administration in the White House, we all know that if one partner doesn’t have a prostate and the other doesn’t have a fallopian tube, there won’t be any nuptials.

Boy + girl = happy, perfect marriage.

Girl + girl or boy + boy = OH MY GOD NO, THEY WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Shitty, but true.
However, if I were Stuart Townsend, I would start to think that my hot girlfriend didn’t really have any plans on getting married.