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In 40 years, after I turn Catholic and become a nun, you’ll totally be able to find me. I’ll look like this:

It’s a poor quality camera shot taken after the final Lynx home game, but I have a feeling she would have been a-okay had I asked to actually pose with her in a picture.

Also at the game? Kevin Garnett. I don’t think he and the nun were together, but I could be wrong.

A 10 year old sitting two seats away from me noticed him first. She was amazed at my mad zoom in skills to verify that it was actually him. And it was.

Hey, you guys know who my favorite baseball player is, right? C’mon, now. It’s Joe Mauer. You knew that.

Well, homeboy is on the cover of August 7th’s Sports Illustrated. Let’s forget about the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx for a couple of minutes, because I don’t even want to think about that in the middle of a playoff run.

There’s just a problem with me locating this particular issue of SI. Joe Mauer is from St. Paul, MN. His family still lives here. I live approximately 9 minutes from St. Paul. Everyone and their mother loves Joe Mauer, and therefore, everyone and their mother is digging high and low for a copy of this magazine.

After trips to two Targets, various gas stations, and a Barnes & Noble, I’ve come up dry. My brother drug his non-girlfriend into various stores in Kansas City looking for the same magazine, but got nowhere. Nowhere with the magazine; I doubt nowhere with his non-girlfriend.

I’m going to keep looking, because that is what I do. But if any of the rest of you happened to stumble upon this particular issue, we would totally be BFF if you picked it up for me. I’ll glady reimburse you, and if you’re not local, I would totally pay postage for you to mail it to me.

I just, you know, want it really bad.

You know me, I always have a lot to write about and if I could find the time, you’d probably get close to 2098 posts a day. Call me chatty. Today, I’m feeling particularly chatty about my humble abode.

There was no ham-throwing or loud-partying next door last night and no tiny dog on the loose taunting my dog. Although, it probably would have been easier to deal with.
Yesterday morning, I woke up and went into the bathroom. I noticed there was water just about covering my entire bathroom floor. Neat, I though, and then tried to remember if I had perhaps felt the need to take a shower in the middle of the night and maybe forgot to close the shower curtain in the process.  I was pretty sure I hadn’t, but I was too tired to do anything about it, so I went back to bed.

Fast forward to maybe 4pm yesterday evening, when I actually needed to take a shower before heading to the Vikings/Chiefs scrimmage/practice thing. That’s when I noticed that there was a beautiful little waterfall trickling down my wall from the apartment above mine, causing my beautiful white popcorn ceiling to develope a neat brownish stain.
Riley and I walked over to the apartment office to let them know. This was at 3pm. They can’t get to it until Monday, because they have to check with the people above me to see if something flooded. And they can’t do anything about it until then. (This is where I silently ran through every expletive I know.)

In the meantime, I get to keep my fingers crossed that someone above me doesn’t fall through my shower ceiling while they’re dropping the kids off at the pool. And I get to put on my galoshes and rain poncho anytime I need to pee.
I know, I know. It’s what you have to deal with when you live an apartment.

And these all happened since I woke up this morning!

• Work was quiet today.
• I had lunch with Stephanie.
• I got accepted into a program at a non-profit organization I’ve been trying to be a part of for 3 years.
• I found a terrific new dogsitter for when I’m gone!
• Riley Pants got an erection. His first one!
• Riley got another erection.
• The dogsitter still wants to take care of him.
• I got Twins’ tickets in the mail for Joe Mauer Sideburn Night.
• Stephanie and I somewhat finalized plans for a trip to Chicago this fall.

I don’t think you need anything else, because this list is just that good!

If I didn’t have plans for a Bottom Shelf Liquor Party that Friday, my work summer picnic that Saturday, and Bowling for Boobs II that Sunday, I would gladly take a weekend trip to Iowa next weekend.

As part of Netflix’s “Rolling Roadshow” tour in which 10 classic movies are being screened where they were filmed, Kevin Costner will return to Dyersville, Iowa on August 11 for a screening of Field of Dreams, which he filmed there. It will mark his first return visit to the town since he wrapped production of the movie in 1989. Netflix also announced that Costner will perform at a free concert at the baseball stadium that was the site of the movie, which will be screened after the band’s performance on a 30-foot inflatable screen in the outfield.

This will be the only time you ever hear me mention that I want to go to Iowa. Ever.

I always wanted to do this meme my whole life. Or maybe just since Jodi did it. But either way, here it is.

These are the first lines of the first ten songs that played on my iPod this morning. You, without the assistance of Google or any other means of cheating, get to guess what they are. It’ll be fun.

1. I’m not surprised it’s come to this.
2. Party people, yeah! Tag team music! (Tag Team’s “Whoomp! There it is!”) - Randi
3. It’s your dark skin, it’s your juicy lips, girl. (N*E*R*D’s “Don’t Worry About It”) - Brent
4. Storming through the party like I was el Nino.
5. I love the way you look at me, I love the pain you place inside.
6. You know how us Catholic girls can be. (Alanis Morissette’s “Forgiven”) - Stephanie L.
7. Everybody’s goin’ after school and you know I’m gonna be there, too.
8. Music hits me so hard, makes me say “Oh my Lord!” (MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This) - Jenny and Jodi
9. Sick and tired of hearin’ all these people talk about. (”Pop” by N’Sync) - Desi
10. You took your coat off, you stood in the rain. (Jewel’s “Foolish Games”) - Jenny

You comment. I’ll tell you if you’re right.

The 3 Day Walk is August 18-20. I may not have mentioned that for a while!

They’ve set up something new this year, which involves walkers being able to receive mail while at camp each night. So, you can write me a letter! It doesn’t matter if you have or haven’t donated, a letter would still be awesome. You just have to have it postmarked by August 4th. That’s this Friday.

It doesn’t have to be anything special at all. I just know from experience that after walking 20 miles, it’s the little things (like letters, words of encouragement, hand-drawn pictures, etc.) that keep us going for the next day.

Here’s the address:

Breast Cancer 3-Day Camp Post Office - Twin Cities
Attn: Wendy (and my last name)*
1200 W. 35th Ave Suite #360
Chicago, IL 60609

The letters and postcards will be delivered to the 3-Day Camp Post Office and I can pick them up there each evening.

Important Notes:
* All letters must be postmarked no later than 2 weeks out from the event. (i.e. 8/4)
* The 3-Day location and the participant name MUST be clearly marked in the address
* No boxes/packages; envelopes only!
* Letters will not be mailed to participants after the event. Any unclaimed letters will be disposed of.

Anyway, think it over. And if you have a couple of free minutes, write me a quick letter! Be creative or don’t - just the thought is amazing. Plus, it’ll be fun for all of us.

*I have the same last name as this person. (Sorry. I’m still kinda hiding from Google!)

“The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human.”

It took me at least two minutes to try to enter that as a text message and I didn’t even finish it. I got frustrated and quit. And I text message all the time!
Apparently, Ben Cook of Provo, Utah, can text that message in 42.22 seconds at a “text-off” in Denver recently. Read more at CNN.com.
Ben Cook may need to search for life outside of his cell phone.

I may have just purchased this collar for Riley. And I may have just purchased it from a site called TrendyPuppy.com. And I may have also just turned into one of those people.

At first, I was slightly embarassed about it, but then I realized that Riley loves red, so he’ll be more than happy to wear it when it comes in the mail.

I really wanted to get him the shirt that says Player, but it doesn’t come in his size. It only fits dogs up to 32 lbs. What kind of dog that weighs less than 32 lbs can be a true player?

The bath robe with the duck on it didn’t even come in his size.

I’m glad I know how Riley feels not being able to get all of the cool clothes in his size. He and I have so much in common.

A few weeks ago, I got an email asking if I’d like to have a few copies of a children’s book called “Duke Finds a Home“. Due to the fact that I write about Little Riley Fancy Pants so much, a marketing rep thought I should have a copy. Or ten.

So, now I have them, and can send them to you, if you really want one. You’ll just have to email me and I’ll gladly send you one. I don’t think I need all ten of them.
The whole idea behind “Duke Finds a Home” is to encourage people to get dogs from shelters, according to the website. The book doesn’t really go into that, but it’s a book for kids. It says it’s written by the dog, and actually it’s not, which was a let down for me.
The book is available for $3.95 (includes shipping and handling) plus two proofs of purchase of Bush’s Baked Beans. Bush’s Baked Beans is raising $50,000 for the American Humane Association, as well as raising awareness for all of the animals currently in shelters.

Yeah. In short, buy beans and get a book.