24 Jun

is 21 weeks comparable to medium well?

Our little penis-wielding yahoo is just over 21 weeks done cooking. And he’s got some CRAZY stuff going on in his petite little frame!

  • He’s guessed to be around 10 1/2 inches long according to all the charts and online sources, and when we had our super awesome ultrasound last week, they confirmed that. He’s in the 60th percentile right now in his size and anything above a ZERO percentile is alright with me.
  • Depending on where you look, he’s either the size of a carrot or a cantaloupe or a pomegranate, but I don’t think I can honestly say I’ve seen either one of those ever be 10 1/2 inches long.
  • He’s still making poop. I mean, meconium, which is code for FIRST POOP. I will not share pictures of that.
  • Amelia’s been feeling him move quite a bit. He flips around and gets a little ruckus at Lynx games. I haven’t felt him yet that I can be certain of, but I’m pretty sure it’s coming. Amelia said he already wakes up when he hears my voice and starts moving around. I’ve also learned that if I blow a raspberry on her stomach, he wakes up. I’m already that asshole parent.
  • He’s starting to taste things, which is so foreign to me that I can’t quite understand it, but since he has taste buds, that makes sense.
  • We have his first name picked out already. I’m not sure that we’ll share it with anyone, because I don’t want to hear your ridiculous opinions on it. “Your” being the collective group of turds that like to be jerks about those kinds of things.
  • And since we have his first name picked out, you’re darn right I setup his first gmail account.

And here’s his first Instagrammed picture where he’s more than something that resembles a Snoopy character.


In the words of the doctor that looked over the scans: “He has an EXCELLENT spine.” Thank you. We did that on purpose.

17 Jun

excellent versus awesome

I’m an over-user of words. Mainly, words like awesome or perfect or dude. All three very important words that I think everyone should use all the time. They make conversations so much more fun.

The other day, when editing a co-worker’s email, I automatically wanted to put the word AWESOME in it, but it had something to do about retirement plans and didn’t seem like quite the content that would have used awesome as a descriptor word. Maybe some people would disagree, but they weren’t the ones proofreading the email now, were they?

Sometimes, I arbitrarily type awesome into Google. I can’t explain why. I just like to do it from time to time. This time around, I found this:


Why, yes, that is a graph of how popular the word awesome has become. I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine Susan B. Anthony using the word awesome to describe any of the anti-slavery movement work she did in the 1850s. I could be wrong. Maybe Helen Keller would have used it, if only there were a sign for it, you know? It looks like it really started taking off right around the time Sandra Day O’Connor turned 25 and her car insurance went down, which is definitely something I would use awesome to describe.

Google suggested that excellent was a prime synonym for awesome and probably a little more appropriate for emails around the workplace.

Popularity of excellent since Sojourner Truth was born:


And I have to tell you, I’m disappointed. I full on expected a gigantic spike in 1989 on usage of the word excellent. Why?

You’re welcome.

10 Jun

this other little guy is 19 weeks along

B3 has been cooking now for 19 weeks. He’s almost halfway done! Tomorrow, we have our ultrasound where we get to see things like his face and his heart. I’ll probably explode from excitement (or at least cry) and then I’ll make all of you look at black and white picture of a tiny fetus in a bubble in my wife’s uterus. You’ve been warned.

Amelia’s been feeling him move around for a couple of weeks now. I can’t feel it from the outside yet, but so far, he’s been pretty squirrely when we were at the Lynx game, at the Indigo Girls concert and anytime I come home from work and start yammering way.

Right now, he should be around 6.5 inches long and weigh around 9 ounces. He’s kind of been growing like a weed lately! He’s apparently the size of a large mango, but I don’t know enough about mangos to give me any reference at all. I believe that is a sure sign that I should be hightailing it to somewhere that I can spend a lot of time in a mango grove. Although, another site says he’s the size of an heirloom tomato, so maybe I’ll just go to the grocery store. These vegetable references are kind of played out at this point. How about a hamburger? Is he the size of a Big Mac or something?

The test we had done a while back that also let us know about his sex was only about 98% accurate. Those odds are pretty awesome, but tomorrow we’ll be able to confirm that upon sight. In all likelihood, someone might have to point it out to me, because I’m not super familiar with that particular organ.

Other cool things that we’ll see tomorrow: his ears and eyes are where they’re supposed to be. His eyebrows are apparently complete, so I’m kind of excited about whether or not we’ll see this little guy with a unibrow tomorrow.

We powered through his bedroom for a while, but kind of pumped the brakes right around Memorial Day for no other reason than I think we were just tired of finding places to put things that were in the room formerly known as the office, now known as the baby’s room/elliptical trainer room. We’ve gotta reorganized our basement a little bit, because we both had forgotten that 17 year old organization is quite different than adult organization. Once we’ve got that under control, this baby’s room should be ready to be painted!

Car shopping is next on our list, after summer classes and after our trip to New York. Until then, I’m putting myself on a freeze when it comes to buying things for him, mainly because I keep losing track of what I’ve already bought. It’s safe to say that Children’s Place taunts me daily, but the last time I’ve looked, I’ve seriously ALREADY BOUGHT EVERYTHING.


31 May

this boy is 17 years old today

I met this boy in 2008.

We took him to Nickelodeon Universe to celebrate the big 11.

We took him to Nickelodeon Universe to celebrate the big 11.

And then he (and his mom) moved in with me.

You know what’s a huge adjustment? Going from being completely single and only responsible for a dog that eats twice a day and needs to go outside from time to time to a living arrangement with an 11 year old. I’ve always known I’d be a parent in some fashion, but I didn’t think it’d start with a tween. Tweens aren’t bad, at least this one. In the first few months we were co-habitating, he learned things like this:



And really, the last six years have flown by when it comes to this kid. He’s grown into almost a man. I’ve learned to fight (not physically, but not for lacking of wanting to!) for him and make sure he knows I believe in him. We’ve had to learn to understand each other’s mood swings, which is still a process for both of us.

He just finished his junior year at a high school he transferred to in February and he has seriously been an all-star. I need to email his teachers and tell them to stop saying things like “amazing”, “you’re so articulate”, “you really know how to live your life”, “no idea where you could have improved” and “Can I keep your paper to use it as an example in other classes?”. Any more confidence in his schoolwork and I might cry.

He’s such a great kid and, although I frequently do not understand why he does things or what he is thinking, I know it’s because he’s 17 and he can’t doesn’t even know the answer to those questions most of the time.

I couldn’t have asked for a better 11 year old to pop into my life on a permanent basis. I’m so excited to see where his life continues to lead him and I can’t wait to watch him flourish. It’s still my favorite thing to go get him donuts and juice on Sunday mornings and I hope his future wife gets used to that. It won’t be too weird – I’ll just leave them on the porch. That’ll be cool, right?

Happy 17th birthday to this grown ass man.


30 May

101 things in 1001 days version 2 update

I’m terrible at updating this and sometimes I only remember because Jenni posts her updates. It’s apparently better than a Google calendar reminder.

I’ve made some progress completing things and at least getting the ball rolling on a few in the last four months in my 2nd attempt at 101 things in 1001 days.

In progress:

  1. Go to three different sporting events at the U of M. Women’s Hockey.
  2. Visit the in-laws in Montana. Trip scheduled over the 4th of July!
  3. Maintain a 3.0 GPA. Try 4.0 so far. Boom.
  4. Watch 20 documentaries. Most recently watched Blackfish. Intense and sad.

Done and dusted:

  1. Sign up for Untappd and use it to try new beers. (10/10) Shock Top Belgian White, Finnegans Irish Amber, Mary Ann by 612 Brew, Magners Irish Pear Cider, Cremona Cream Ale, and Kotbusser by Reads Landing Brewing Company, Chit Chat Belgian White Ale, Springboard, Bitter Brewery by Surly, Johnny Appleseed Cider.
  2. Take two classes at MCTC per semester. I did that my first semester and then upped to four, because who doesn’t like a challenge?
  3. Declutter the coat closet. This required throwing out about 25 pair of shoes, but it’s mighty clean in there now.

There are so many I know I’m not going to get done, but I’m not too mad about it. Other things came up that weren’t on the list like having a baby, starting a new job, actually getting my Associate’s Degree and moving on to my Bachelor’s program – all those awesome life changing events I keep hearing about.

I have about 1.5 years to complete it, though, so I guess you never know what would happen in those 18 months. My last 18 months have been balls to the walls ridiculously awesome and there’s no reason why the next ones can’t be the same!