two dolla

• I’ve successfully mastered the task of downtown asshole driving. All while wearing grown up lady business clothes. #
• Spring! I missed you! Please stay for a whiled! #

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The thing about working? I get way behind on my TV programs and my internet reading.

Between last night and this morning, I got caught up on the following shows:

• Supernanny: I can’t help watching that show. I want to have a kid just so Jo Frost can teach me how to raise it.
• Top Chef: Finally an episode where I understand half the things being cooked… probably because there were kids in the kitchen this time around. My favorite already got the boot, so I’m trying to pick a new one, which is kinda hard. If I had to pick by hair, it’d totally be Richard Blaise.
• Survivor: Can anyone else possibly be blindsided this season? I really do love this season, even if two of my favorites are sitting on the jury.
• Lost: I started this show at the beginning and now I feel like I just can’t give up on it.
• I Know My Kid’s a Star: I’m so glad someone decided Danny Bonaduce needed a job. Without him, this show would just be a bunch of seriously crazy moms and their kids that aren’t ever gonna be stars despite what they think.
• 30 Rock: Jack Donaghy as part of Homeland Security? Yes, please. I don’t think Tina Fey could have possibly put together a better cast of people. Favorite scene this week? Jack’s assistant singing a Sarah McLachlan song to him as he gets on the elevator.
• The Office: I’m so glad I got sucked into watching this show. I love the whole cast so much. Stanley was on a morning radio show earlier this week, and it made this week’s episode even funnier.

What do we learn from this? That I should probably slow down on the amount of TV I’m watching.

• @reversecowgirl so… not at all? #
• Had my phone turned off most the day. Mainly because I forgot it was off. Oops. #
• Some guy is freestyle rapping outside my window. He compared his girl with the movie Face Off. I love Minneapolis. #
• OK, all of the Twin Cities. I know the zoo isn’t the most original idea, but did you ALL have to have it? #

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• Holy damn. I have a whole lot of TV to catch up on. That damn working thing. #

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• You know how I know it’s spring time? The door is open at The Otter. #
• Jenni is doing the Cupid Shuffle to a John Denver song. It’s so wrong that it is oh so right. #
• There is a bar stool in my back seat thanks to Jenni. Sorry, U Otter Stop Inn. #
• @best_day_ever I can’t wait to park at work and hope today is the day that my boss wants me to drive her to our satellite office. #
• I hate that our awesome twitters from last night didn’t show up because it was BROKEN. But I love that I’m not wearing socks today. #
• @best_day_ever I’ll probably pee myself when I see it in there in like 10 minutes when I walk out the door. #
• Definitely no more staying out past 11 on work nights. Holy crap I an useless today. #
• Totally just hit the alarm bell in the elevator. Nice work, hambone. #
• Don’t talk about the new baseball stadium needing a roof when the team owner’s nephew is in the elevator with you. #
• Also, try not to look like an ass when the same guy who is also the VP of your company tells you he is expecting great things from you. #
• @best_day_ever sadly, yes. #
• GoDaddy just called to see if I needed any assistance in getting my new domain setup. The one I have had since 1998. #

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Aside from the steady paycheck and the constant human interaction and the excitement of finally being able to bump my last job in Missouri off my resume, the other awesome thing about being once again employed is the promise of health insurance. Oh, sweet health insurance. Granted, my nagging back injury will be considered an previous condition, so the trips to the chiropractor will continue to come out of pocket, thanks to my wreck 1.5 years ago.

Beginning June 1, I can get all of the Cialis, viagra, and levitra that I’ll ever need. It’s even more exciting to find out I can order it all online and never have to worry about standing in line at the pharmacy with a sheepish look on my face, while I wait to get my prescription of erectile dysfunction medication filled. Who knew it was just a few mouse clicks away, while I watch old episodes of Entourage and field booty call related text messages with answers of NO NOT AT ALL INTERESTED?

Maybe I’ll just forgo insurance completely, since I can get all my male sexual enhancement drugs on the Internets just as easily. Nobody likes dealing with Blue Cross Blue Shield, and I think this would get completely around it. Except for the fact that I don’t suffer from erectile dysfunction. And I should probably have the insurance just to pay for the therapy I need… even though that’s probably a pre-existing conditions as well.

I’d been overly excited about paying the balance on my Lynx season tickets for the 2008 season, but I ended up deciding against it. It’s a commitment (I’m not good at those!) and it’s a a good chunk of change when one isn’t really gainfully employed come time to pay your ticket balance. I figured I’d just catch whatever games I felt like, because let’s face it - their piece of shit marketing campaign isn’t exactly going to pack the seats.

Lindsey Harding’s latest knee injury makes me glad I didn’t go through with my season ticket holder status. At least the front office made a good decision in drafting a point guard like Candice Wiggins last month, instead of trying to fill their absolute desperate need for a post player first.

Here’s my prediction: Harding’s getting traded. If it doesn’t happen before the season starts, it’ll happen midway through, and because of this second knee injury, the Lynx won’t get shit for her. They should have pulled the string on it when she was whining about wanting to play in Houston, since that’s where she went to high school.

I like Harding, I do. She’s the second most exciting player for the Lynx, and will probably continue holding that status even while injured. I just don’t think she fits into their longterm plans. Don Zierden’s had the proverbial hard-on for Noelle Quinn ever since Harding went out last season, and with the amount of public appearances Q was making in the off-season, I can’t see her leaving anytime soon.

• There’s a fella in Maple Grove wearing a grill. #
• Note to self: Don’t ever get another pet with white hair. #
• I get to start making actual work calls! I love that I am excited about it! Day 2: success! #
• Extra awesome bonus of this job: going home for lunch. #
• Home for lunch. Riley’s been two inches from me the whole time. Now he’s laying on my feet. He hates it when I work! #
• Of course traffic sucks more on the way back from lunch than it did on the way to work. Late back from lunch on day 2? Probably not cool. #

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I’m pretty much the best daughter on Earth, because I never send any cards to my parents ever, and if I do, they’re never on time. It was absolutely no surprise to me when I noticed on my calendar that Mother’s Day was less than a week away. I, sadly, am not doing anything for my mom, except existing, which is pretty monumental in its own right. I’ll probably call and be all HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY and that’s about it. (Sorry to ruin the surprise, Mom.)

But you know what you can do to make up for my lack of gift-giving to the woman that had to clean up my vomit and put up with my entirely ridiculous attitude problems from age 8-18? Sent some mother’s day flowers or a card or some balloons or really anything, because you know your ma’s gonna like it.

P.S. I totally came home on my lunch break, had a turkey sandwich, and had time to blog! WIN AGAIN for the new job!

• Dear new job, please don’t suck as bad as the one I quit yesterday. I promise not to steal anything. Yet. #
• @best_day_ever wow. i should probably log in to aim stat! #
• At lunch on the new job. Walked past a strip club and 2 porn shops already. Gotta find food now! #
• New job: awesome. They had cake and a card welcoming me to the company. And they all know I have no recruiting experience. #
• The gay boy in my department is already calling me "love". I think I’m gonna like it here. #

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