I can honestly say that if anything ever goes awry in my career and/or life, I’m totally taking up drug dealing. It worked for Nancy Botwin in Weeds and it’s working for Walter White in Breaking Bad. And by working, of course, I mean there might be a few mishaps (i.e. murders, explosions, near death experiences), but at least it’s entertaining, right?
We’ve been on a TV show kick as of late. We’re finally caught up with Sons of Anarchy and decided to start something else. Instant Netflix provided us with Breaking Bad. I’m excited to see where it’ll go from the first two episodes.
The first time I came back from Fort Lauderdale, I started watching CSI: Miami. I just wanted some way to see palm trees and blue waters in the middle of the winter.
When The General moved in, she got me hooked on Law & Order: SVU. Big time. And most recently, I’m a little bit crazy about Criminal Minds.
And what tends to happen is that I start combining all of the shows together. I feel like Horatio Caine and his super douchey sunglasses should be meeting up with Stabler and Benson in Quantico to help the Behavioral Analysis Unit figure out some serial killer’s patterns.
Is that how dirty fan fiction gets started? Because Delko and Morgan would kind of make a hot little gay couple.
Tonight I decided that The General and I should catch up on The Amazing Race since we haven’t watched it yet and the episodes are dating back to early February. Within the first 15 minutes I was already angry at the show.
Now as many times as I’ve watched a season or even just an episode, there have been an abundance of things that have not changed and will not change. Oh, and I shall gladly list them for you.
1) You will inevitably be going to a country where English is not the primary language and likely not even spoken. Do yourself a favor and learn some basic vocabulary. Taxi, bus, airport, which way – these are things that will benefit you. I promise.
2) Sometimes in these magical far off countries, cultures will be different. If a cab driver doesn’t understand you when you are talking very loudly in broken English, yet you get pissed off and throw a little American temper tantrum, you’re making yourself look like a gian douchbag. Congratulations.
3) One of the two of you should either know how to do or learn how to do one of the following: drive a stick shift, know the cardinal directions, easily read a map, not be scared of large animals, and someone better damn sure be able to calm the other one down when he/she completely flips the you-know-what out.
I guarantee that if you decide to try out for this show and keep the above points in mind, you might possibly win. If nothing else, you won’t end up looking like a giant ass on national TV.
And you’re welcome.