two dolla

upcoming family road trip plan

Earlier this summer, I realized I hadn’t been back to Missouri since Christmas of 2010. I tried making plans over the 4th of July weekend, but that didn’t work out due to work obligations. Then, I got a card from my grandma at the beginning of September, which happens at the beginning of every month. This particular card said she was homesick to see me. So, you’re darn skippy that I planned a trip back to Missouri faster than I’ve planned any trip back to Missouri. So, now from 10/5-10/10, the we will be in the Sedalia, MO/Belleville, IL area.

Our schedule thus far is as follows:
10/5: Leaving work directly following a staff meeting to visit my friends I-35 and Iowa for the first time this year.
10/6: Visiting my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and anyone else I can cram into one day.
10/7: More visiting during the day, perhaps getting new tires, attending a high school homecoming football game and then driving midway through MO.
10/8: Visit the Arch when it opens, head to Belleville for an all day, city wide Chili Cookoff.
10/9: City Museum. All. Day. Long.
10/10: Heading back to the 612.

And I’m back to the point where our vacation will need a daggum* vacation.

*I can’t stop saying daggum lately and I’m not sure why.

there’s some catch up happening here

I have approximately 4.5 billion things that I need to write about. I keep starting blog posts in my head (hello, nerd!) and then never putting them into WordPress. If I could get a trained monkey to take care of that for me, I’d be forever appreciative.

Last weekend was one of the most fantastic weddings of all time. I’m totally always a bridesmaid, by the way. Twice that’s been my role in the whopping five weddings that I’ve actually been to that I can remember. In other weddings, I’ve been a candle lighter and a guestbook attendant. The fifth wedding was a Catholic wedding and I’ve blocked most of that out. (More on this latest wedding later.)

I had three days of fever over a week ago, started waking up with sore throats, tons of muscle fatigue, etc. Went to the doctor, stole some medical supplies while waiting, and then found out it’s nothing. THANKS, DOC. Since then, I’ve managed to lose my voice. If you know me in person, you’ll know how much of a travesty this is. It’s slowly working it’s way back and I’m slowly no longer sounding like a prepubescent boy.

Yesterday, the General and I went to the Lynx playoff game. I won tickets via Twitter from a VP of the Timberwolves. They were in a suite, which was way, way awesome. And I think being that far away from the rest of the fans probably prevented me from screaming my fool head off and losing my voice all together. The Lynx won and they’re headed to the Western Conference Finals, starting tomorrow, and don’t worry. We’ll be there. I even ponied up the cash for these tickets. (And more about this to come as well.)

The Kid’s been a rock start in high school so far. He’s got some new friends and the ones I’ve met have been super awesome. It’s weird to think he’s hanging out with people that are old enough to buy cigarettes and porn now.

The whole damn family is heading toSedalia,MO/Belleville,ILin a couple of weeks to catch a high school football game and a city-wide chili cook-off. As always, it’s sure to be action packed and loads of fun.

More blogging. It’s coming. I promise.

the san juan of america!

One of my favorite places ever to visit was San Juan, Puerto Rico. I think it’s probably because it was the first place out of the continental U.S. I’d ever been and the first place where I’d ever been that a different language was spoken and the first place I’d ever been to Senor Frogs and the first time I’d ever watched the sun set of the ocean and the first time I’d ever used my passport… and you get the idea, right?

I did not know, until right now, that there was a San Juan in the Pacific Northwest. Perhaps geography was never my strongest subject! And then I ran across Friday Harbor, which is where I’d totally stay if we were going to be visiting Washington anytime soon.

Friday Harbor hotels is kind of the most adorable thing ever. Seakayaking and whale-watching sound like two activities I could be down for with no problem at all. This website is full of a ton of information and I can’t really stop looking at all the options. Which is weird, because I have no plans in the immediate future to visit that area at all!

in major travel mode

Milwaukee was so much fun this weekend, that it’s got me stuck in major travel mode. On the way back, we were talking about where we wanted to head this summer, whether it’s just the two of us, or the three of us, depending on whether or not a certain almost 13 year old boy has dug himself out of the grounding hole. With The Kid in tow, we’ve set our options on Chicago, Milwaukee again for Summerfest or St. Louis, all areas we’ve been, are sure we can get their rather cheaply, and are pretty sure we can come up with enough things to keep us busy that don’t involve closing down a bar both nights of the weekend.

If The Kid doesn’t get to go with us, we’re naturally leaning towards Vegas. It doesn’t help matters much when I get an email about once a week advertising a hotel room right on the strip for nothing but $2.49 and a high five. While I don’t think we’ll want to wait this long, there’s always the NFR 2010 taking place in December. That’s National Finals Rodeo to those of you that hate the calf-roping, bull-riding, barrel-racing type sport.

I wouldn’t at all mind going to NFR at some point. I’m a rodeo fan and have been since I was young. My first job was selling hot dogs out of a concession stand at the Missouri State Fairgrounds during rodeos and tractor pulls. This is borderline redneck admissions, isn’t it?

you’ll find us in every casino

The General and I are forgoing large scale Christmas presents for each other this year (last year, there was a new camera and a Kitchenaid mixer involved in our holiday celebration) and go to Vegas in February (or early March) instead. That’s a decision I can live with.

Last time I went to Las Vegas, it was my first time. I was certain I was going to come back with stories involving hitting several jackpots (on the nickel slot machines), but instead, I just came back with stories involving a man dressed in a leisure suit trying to go to the bathroom in the kitchen of the nicest restaurant I’ve ever been to in my life and a blackjack dealer that entertained us with tales of where we could or couldn’t walk in downtown Vegas without getting robbed of all our possessions.

This time around, I’m more excited to share it with The General (the second trip for both of us) and visit more places than just the casinos. While I’m sure we’ll spend a fair amount of time in them, I can’t imagine myself taking a lot of time with the online casino reviews I’ve read over in the past.

Fatburger (totally typed Fartburger) and Coyote Ugly are on my list of MUST SEES this time around. I kind of want to go visit a drive thru wedding chapel, not necessarily to get married but to witness someone else’s bad middle-of-the-night, drunk-off-giant-sized-margaritas mistake. And maybe a quick visit to Mike Tyson’s house to kidnap his tiger while we’re at it. (I need to watch Hangover again before we go… more as things to AVOID.)

only a month behind

Sometime in mid-July, the homies and I went camping. The General stayed at home leaving me to my own devices. And my own tent, which I set up all by myself for the first time ever, thank you very much. It didn’t leak and there weren’t any wild animals inside it when I went to bed each night, so I’d say it was a success.

Here are the pictures from said event. I really wish I would have kept a journal – or more specifically a poop journal – so I could write about the time in more detail. Jenni has awesome pictures, too. Here are some my personal favorite from the trip:

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packing lightly

I’m in the midst of trying to pack enough clothes to last me the weekend on a campsite next to a river, where it’s supposed to rain Friday night and get down in the 50s Saturday night. But on the other hand, I’m keeping in mind that we’re staying in a walk-in site this year, which means our car isn’t parked two feet from our picnic tables. So, OMG, the drama this is causing when trying to decide how much liquor to bring (to a campsite that doesn’t allow any mind you) is throwing me way off. I already have a nalgene bottle of vodka. Unless you’re from the Minnesota Park Rangers Association, in which case it is JUST WATER.

I hope they don’t actually search my car when I go rolling through the gates tomorrow evening… I’m not sure how I’ll explain the bottle of Mad Dog or the bottles of Boone’s Farm I plan on taking.

it’s so cheap to fly there!

I’ve been to Branson twice in my life (that I can remember) – once in 5th grade with my best friend Angie and her family and once when I was a senior in high school and we had a jazz band competition nearby. Not once in my adult life have I wanted to go back. It’s overly touristy and I don’t like that. Anywhere really. I visit reason for one reason and that’s family/friends. Half of the year, I can almost use baseball as another reason to visit two states south, but it’s rare.

However, now that there’s a certain airline flying directly from Minneapolis to Branson (NON-STOP, MIND YOU), my mind could be easily changed, especially considering my parents like to celebrate their nearby regular honeymoon location in Springfield, MO. The Silver Saddle Inn if we’re going to be exact.

I could be persuaded to stay at the Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel with a pool like the one they have or maybe at the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing is less than 10 miles away. Extra bonus that they allow pets, because I’m sure Riley and the rest of the farm would enjoy some time in Southern Missouri, spending time with Mickey Gilley, Andy Williams, and everybody’s favorite Yakov Smirnoff.  I especially like how the hotels offer packages ranging anywhere from some time on the Payne Stewart Golf Course or a romantic package that includes free wine (where allowed, according to their website). Where is wine not allowed??

Next time I go to Branson, it’s going to have to include those awesome Duck Boats I’ve always wanted to ride, a few hours in Silver Dollar City where I can see people blow glass in person, and probably at least three days spent in Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum. That’s the only thing I remember about my first trip to Branson… besides stealing a 1972 Playboy from an antique store and reading it in the hot tub. That was the 5th grade trip, not the 12th grade trip.

Suddenly, my trips to Missouri sound a little more exciting. No offense to anything near my family tree, of course. But c’mon – where else can I spend time in the Hollywood Wax Museum, the House of 1000 Clocks, or have a chance to see Ray Stevens perform “The Streak” live and in person?

we’re in milwaukee

Or Wauwatosa. But it’s close. We got here around 8pm last night, arriving in our fashionable Kia Rio. Sub-compact is how we roll when our normal mode of transportation (my 2001 Ford Escape) isn’t really up to road trip par right now.

We drove around the area last night for a while looking for a place to have dinner. Our original plan was Mo’s Irish Pub, which is super close to our hotel. We pulled up and noticed they were busy, which was a good sign. We drove around in search of a parking spot and decided to look for a different place to eat when we realized the place was blasting Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies” over the patio sound system. Beyonce isn’t Irish, fools. C’mon!

Today, we’re off to the Milwaukee Public Market, a tour of the Miller Brewery, and then we’re heading out to Lake Michigan to hang out with Rick, Brooke, and the fam to watch the fireworks tonight.

Right this very second,  we’re watching 15 Most Notorious Women on the E! channel.

iron barley and the ballistic elvis

When were in the St. Louis area over Thanksgiving, we headed for a day of touristy type fun in St. Louis proper. Since it was nearing lunch time before five of us got around to leave the house, we opted for stopping for some lunch before sight-seeing at The Gateway Arch. Our lunch spot of choice? Iron Barley. In the several times I’d made visits to The Cuz and fam, I remembered us talking about the place, but I’d never been. Now? I’m adding it to the list of MUST VISIT places when I visit.

The menu was almost impossible to pick from, but I think it’s safe to say we were all extremely happy with what we ordered. Our appetizer, though, is work writing in detail about. Either B. or The Cuz mentioned it and after giving it a lot of thought, we decided to go ahead and order one to split between the four of us. And, because we’re nice, we gave Clara Jane crackers.

What is the Ballistic Elvis? Oh, let me tell you.

American cheese, strawberry preserves, sliced bananas, peanut butter and red pepper flakes. (Read that twice, just because you’ll need to in order to remember it and make it at home.)

All grilled on what looked to be Texas Toast. And, because we couldn’t say no, we added bacon, as the menu suggested.

It came out and I wanted it to be absolutely disgusting. How can you combine all of that and have it be delicious? I love each of the ingredients. On their own. Or perhaps PAIRED together. But all in one? I was scared! I didn’t want one sandwich to ruin my love for bananas or bacon or discount American cheese slices!

It wasn’t disgusting. At all. It was fantastic. So much, in fact, that neither one of us Ballistic Elvis virgins have been able to stop thinking about it ever since. Now, we have groceries to make our own version of it. I hope we get it right, but I’d imagine more testing will be necessary when we return to St. Louis.

• From Riverfront Times
• From Sauce magazine