Exactly one year ago today, I was at the Imperial Room with co-workers from my previous job, and I was in the process of getting absolutely obliterated on drinks that I couldn’t keep track of at all. Later, I would puke on the back porch. My wife would probably tell you more about that if you wanted the details. The hardest part for me was leaving some of my co-workers (the non-homophobic ones) and the CEO, who was an enormous catalyst in my professional growth over those five years. The easiest part for me was everything else. I won’t go into detail, but I’m sure you can read them in my future memoir and it will likely take up 43 chapters with very few pictures.
And since then… man. You know how they say you shouldn’t do ALL OF THE LIFE CHANGES at once? Well, screw that. In the past 365 days, we’ve done some things.
I started a new very awesome job.
We celebrated Minnesota legalizing gay marriage.
We went camping.
I started going back to school.
We went to Vegas.
We got married.
We saw Macklemore.
We went camping again.
I went to Missouri in October.
We went to Missouri for Christmas.
Amelia started going back to school.
We went up north for a cabin weekend.
The Kid switched schools.
We got pregnant.
I don’t necessarily know that the next year will slow down with things on the agenda like going to Montana, graduating with my AA in Liberal Arts, going to New York, buying a new car, starting my Bachelor’s program, and having a baby all on the agenda for the next six or seven months.
When I put it all into perspective, I can’t wait to come back and look at this post again in 365 days when we’ll have an almost six month old and a 17 year old a month away from graduating high school.
This is probably a gimme, but I’m pretty happy with this life of mine right now.
I know it’s all baby stuff all the time right now, but if I wrote about the other things going on in my life, it would look like this:
Work is grand.
School is moving along.
Minneapolis Community & Technical College is a giant joke, but I only have five more weeks of classes there, then an eight week summer semester where I’m taking classes from a different school since MCTC makes it literally impossible to actually get their Associate’s of Arts online, even though they have a degree program called Online Associate’s of Arts. But at the end of June, I’ll have one degree down, and a very angrily worded letter/blog post/novel to share. I just want the degree first.
The teenage man child in our house is kicking school in the face and is about to line up an internship for the summer. Again.
All the animals are as awesome as ever, as evident from my constant posting pictures of them on Petstagram, Instagram, whatever.
That’s it. And I’m excellent with that.
It’s been a whirlwind of baby-fueled shopping, planning, reorganizing, planning, budgeting, planning and planning house over here in dangerous North Minneapolis. Now, obviously this bebe was planned, almost down to the minute that it happened. With that planning, we truly discussed everything. There’s just something different about discussing this creation of a new life and then, you know, realizing that it’s going to be here in less than 200 days. TWO HUNDRED DAYS. We’ve been in crazy purge mode lately and, if you’ve ever helped me move, you’ll know that I don’t purge. I don’t HOARD, but I do have the tendency to keep things as bit longer than I should.
So, babies and the internet. That’s how I got you here. I mean, I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but people are fucking stupid and it scares me that so many of the reproduce. My wife belongs to a few groups on Facebook with LGBT couples trying to conceive and it’s really been helpful with some things we’ve been growing through and some concerns we’ve had. She’ll sometimes share what some of the people post. And usually, they’re stupid that I beg her to tell me what the name of the group is so I can leave comments that say STOP IT RIGHT NOW. I guess I see why.
Babies and the Internet II: Sometimes, I like to Google things like “11 week old fetus” to see pictures of fetii that are similar to the one we’ve created. I always immediately regret it, because pro-lifers have taken the liberty of photoshopping the hell out of some images that make me want to throw up. And I don’t want to throw up because they’re aborted fetuses, because in this instance: THEY’RE NOT. I want to throw up because people out there spend so much time trying to scare the everloving bejeezus out of women that are considering abortion. It’s terrible. A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon an image someone had thrown out there of a bucket full of 9 week old fetuses, and of course they were covered in blood and all had tears running down the sides of their faces. Screw you, pro-lifers. You can have your opinion, but can you at least share that opinion in a way that’s not grossly inaccurate and uses complete fear to get your point across?
Babies and the Internet III (this is the good stuff): I now know that our little dinosaur looking thing is about 1 1/2 inches long right now, which is almost the size of my thumb. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that the clothes we’ve been stocking up on are MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT and the baby will be fitting into some of them in, you know, less than 200 days. Did I mention that earlier? The internet says it’s the size of a fig, but the only thing that I know about figs is that they make Fig Newtons out of them, so that’s not helping me much in terms of visualization. Other websites say the baby could be the size of a lime. I think that’s much cuter:
I finished two classes worth of homework tonight and mentioned to the family that I was going to finish my brackets and go to bed. The 16 year old perks up with, “Oooh, I need to do one so I can win the Quicken Loans’ Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge at BetVictor
!” Yes, we know, he probably watches too much TV. Whatever take a look on beyond diet reviews and see for yourself.
So, he’s sitting on the love seat with a bracket and an orange highlighter, working some magic based on the following questions he’s asked me and comments he’s made:
Where’s Albany? (Geography isn’t a focus in high school anymore and you can thank No Child Left Behind for that bullshit.)
I want Harvard to win something.
Oooooh. I couldn’t decide between Creighton and LA-Lafayette.
American, even though they suck. I really wish it was National American University.
They have zero losses. I’ll pick that team.
Him: “Mom, left or right?” His mom: “Right.”
I hate Michigan. Secretly. (Explaining why he picked Wofford.)
He’s got some good upsets in there, although I think he might be up all night just getting past the first round. Or he may lose interest.
But just for posterity’s sake, here’s a picture of him with Maya Moore. You know, to prove his sportiness!