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i’m 33 and very much enjoyed the hunger games triology

There. I said it. I’m not even all that embarrassed about it.

I’d originally ordered The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxed Set off of Amazon for The Kid. He likes reading AND getting stuff in the mail, which means it’s a win-win, right? Turns out, just like with the Twilight series, the adults in the house were more enthralled with these books than the child teenager. I’m not sure what that says about us.

The Hunger Games: Way to draw someone in.

Catching Fire: Way to F with my head.

Mockingjay: I was muy decepcionado with this book. I didn’t know how I wanted it to end, but I do know it wasn’t the way it ended. How’s that for a spoiler?

This series was candy, just straight candy. I wouldn’t let myself try to think ahead; I just wanted to read things chapter by chapter. I knew if I thought hard enough, I could figure out the entire series and I didn’t want that to happen. It was a perfect trilogy for reading from around a campfire or in the bathtub. I couldn’t pick it up and drop it off mid-chapter and not worry about it. And it made me more than a little excited for the movie(s) to come out.

Maybe I’ll try challenging myself with a book this time around. Or not. Because I like pictures.

more questions than answers so far

I’m making a solid attempt at reading the Bible through from front to back right now, thanks to an app I downloaded for my phone. It just gives me a few verses a day, which is about all I want to read in one setting.

So far, after barely getting a taste of Genesis, I have more questions than answers. I don’t think I was expecting answers as much as I was clarifications of the verses that get thrown out in heated debates. That’s not happening either just yet, but I’m definitely giving it time.

I think this might prove to be the most interesting and in depth project on my 101 list… with the exception of learning to pee while standing up, of course.

yes, i really read this book and don’t judge me

I’ve never been a big reader. I think it’s because it requires me sitting in one place for too long at a time and I have horrible twitches when I even attempt to do that.

This book had been sitting out for a couple of weeks and I grabbed it in a fit of needing something to read in the bathtub. Yeah, I said that. Sorry for the visual. I didn’t want to put it down and it didn’t matter that I was still sitting in the bathtub, now in cold water. More visuals, right?

This book is not going to challenge the ol’ noggin, but holy cow, did it make me feel a lot better about having some of these thoughts that I think I shouldn’t be having as a faux-parent. I chuckled out loud (I don’t LOL, sorry) a few times while reading it and, once again, gained a whole new appreciation for single parents.

If had a journal of my first year with The Kid, it’s possible someone would think I’d never been around kids before. I can really appreciate Lamott’s honesty and, if we ever procreate, I won’t feel nearly as bad about thinking my kid’s going to die every time it takes a nap. I already felt like that for the first two years with my dog.

In summary (I’ve been wanting to use that for a while now in some capacity), I super enjoyed Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It’s a fast read. It’s cute. It’s funny. It’s real. Plus, I totally have it if you want to borrow it.

look i have books

Upon my return from the wilderness near the St. Croix River, I had to work for a couple of hours. I talked The General to going with me witih plans to hit the thrift store afterwards. Sure enough, I had too much shit to clean up at work and didn’t get done until the thrift store we were planning on visiting was closed. So, I offered the next best thing – a trip to Half Price Books in the Highland Park area of St. Paul to visit their clearance basement. As it turns out, when we got there, not only did they have a clearance basement, then had a CLEARANCE TENT SALE IN THEIR PARKING LOT. You could get a grocery sized bag of books for $5 or a box (the size of an apple box) of books for $10. UH, SOLD.

Somehow I, the non-reader in the relationship, wound up with more books than the one that reads a book a week. I’m not sure how that worked out and I didn’t even notice it until I was busy unpacking them just a bit ago. After visiting the clearance tent sale, we followed it up with a trip to the Clearance Basement where we found some more reading material we couldn’t live without. We spent a total of $21.50, walking out with 20 books to read, a journal for The General, and a book for The Boy. Not a bad day’s work.

And because it’s hilarious, here’s the list of books I wound up with:

1. Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini – The General found this for me.
2. Jailhouse Stories: Memories of a Small-Town Sheriff – I can’t help it. I always love jail/crime true stories… and have since I was 8.
3. Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming-Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, & Their Families – Written prior to Chaz’s recent media blitz, of course.
4. Dick for a Day: What Would You Do If You Had One? – C’mon. Like you’ve never thought about it, ladies?
5. Ms. Thang’s Guide to Fly – Again, c’mon, like you’ve never thought about it?
6. One of a Kind: The Rise and Fall of Stuey ‘,The Kid’, Ungar, The World’s Greatest Poker Player – I also love Vegas books. A lot. Because one day I aspire to be a champion poker player and/or card counter. Or perhaps just a show girl.
7. The Book of Mormon – Another Testament of Jesus Christ – I know you can get it free from calling the 1-800-MORMON number, but I don’t want to get on those dudes’ mailing list.
8. So You Want to Be a Lesbian? – What? It looks hilarious from the cover alone!
9. Tattoo Blues – I grabbed this just as the tent was closing, but on the jacket sleeve it talks about having a tattoo that means “too much hot sauce”.
10. Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America – Another suggestion made by The General.
11. Tomboys!: Tales of Dyke Derring-Do – The back cover basically describes my childhood, so I had to get it.
12. I Love This Game!: My Life and Baseball – I live in Minnesota now. I think, by Twins Fan Law, I have to read this.
13. Dry: A Memoir – I loved Running with Scissors and have been meaning to read this one anyway. Hard to pass up for $2!
14. The Games Do Count: America’s Best and Brightest on the Power of Sports – The cover shows Condoleezza Rice in Pairs Ice Skating and James Brown in a basketball uniform. SOLD.

I haven’t read 14 books in the last two years, so I’m not too sure what I was thinking. And that doesn’t begin to touch the stack of “work-related” books I have sitting on my nightstand that include things like “How to Not Be Douche at Work” and “How to Sell Everything to Everyone”. Or at least titles close to those.

three, count ‘em, three craptastic book reviews!

I missed reading books in the whole month of February, but made up for it in March by reading four books. I finished two of those over the span of an eight day cruise. Who knew reading on a lawn chair in the middle of the ocean could be so soothing? It’s a lot better than reading while in the midst of a layover at the Atlanta airport, that’s for sure.

You Can Get Arrested for That: 2 Guys, 25 Dumb Laws, 1 Absurd American Crime Spree was my first reading conquest of the cruise. I was very excited to read it, because it tells you how to get arrested. You can’t beat that. It’s written by a guy young enough to be my cabana boy, and details his trip to American and quest to break 25 really dumb laws. How dumb?

Did you know it’s illegal to hunt for a whale in the state of Utah? The author took a boat into a Utah lake and actually attempted to hunt whale. Law broken! Did you know it’s also illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory in South Dakota? Unfortunately, there were no cheese factories in South Dakota that would allow the author (Rich Smith) to give it a shot. Law not broken!

It was a funny book and a quick read. A poor college student, his trusty and faithful sidekick, and a lot of booze probably explains why I enjoyed it so much.

We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive. The title alone probably explains why I loved this book. If you’ll remember, I read Laurie Notaro’s first book back in January and absolutely adored it. That’s why I didn’t bat an eye when I picked up this one, and it’s the same type of book. Laurie tells stories that may or may not be slightly embellished. And I don’t care how true they are, because they entertain the hell out of me and I won’t be done until I read all of her books.

She’s a normal girl and not-so-normal things happen to her just out of the blue. I think that’s why I like her and love the way she tells a story.

Throwing Bullets: A Tale of Two Pitchers Chasing the Dream – what’s with books and their ridiculous subtitles? When I write a book it’s going to have a one word title. Or maybe two. But definitely no subtitle.

Throwing Bullets is a baseball book written by a guy who follows two minor league (at the time) pitchers in the Twins organization. One of those pitchers? Francisco Liriano, who is one of my favorite Twins players. While I enjoyed reading how the author finally broke Francisco, who I’m totally calling Frankie now, out of his shell by the end of the season, I thought the book was full of a lot of fluff. I didn’t particularly care about the color of the trees on the winding road from one stadium to the other, but I’m sure some people do.

I liked reading about Liriano, and found my self not caring much about the other pitcher profiled in the book. My opinion would probably be different if I wasn’t a Twins fan or if I didn’t know who Liriano was.

Don’t worry – I have more books to read! But that’s seven down for this year so far!

stupid and contagious

  A few weeks ago, I was ordering a tripod from Amazon. I went to checkout and ended up getting Stupid and Contagious so I could get free shipping. Yes, I know paying the shipping would have been cheaper, but Amazon successfully tricks me every time. Hey, it gets me to read new books, so I won’t complain much more.

I hadn’t heard any recommendations or read any reviews about this book, but it just sounded like something I’d like. And, man, it totally was.

It’s not a long book at all, and it’s got my favorite thing ever – short chapters. The book’s told from the view of two different characters, but it’s not as confusing as it might sound. It’s funny and real, and any book I read that’s just real – like something I can actually relate to without stretching too much – gets extra bonus points for me.

I don’t want to read a sappy romance novel (unless it contains smut and uses the word mound or throbbing manhood) or a book about vampires that are going to take over the world. I have no interest and will never make it through the book, unless it’s just to find the words throbbing manhood.

Stupid and Contagious is cute and silly and everything that some of you probably hate, but man, I really loved it so much and was even late going out one night this week because I was reading it. Yes, me, reading over drinking – it’s clearly unheard of and will never happen again.
The author, Caprice Crane, uses to write for MTV. This is her first novel, but I’m hoping her second, which is coming out soon and in movie format after that, isn’t a let down, because holy crap, I’ll read all of her books.

ted bundy revisited

When I was a kid, probably in 4th grade or so, I borrowed a book from my grandma. It was called The Stranger Beside Me, which wasn’t exactly on the 10-year-old reading list at the public library. It was one of my grandma’s many, many, many true-crime novels that she read on a regular basis. She’d pick them up for a quarter at a garage sale and pass them on to me or to my mom or to my aunts and great-aunts. A story about a raving lunatic that killed over 30 women was apparently the type of heirloom that went from generation to generation in my family.

I was at the bookstore in January when I saw this book and figured, after almost 20 years, I’d give another read through. Ted Bundy clearly hasn’t changed since the last time I read the book, but I guess that wasn’t very likely considering he fried in the electric chair in 1989, which was probably after the first time I read it.

I didn’t read my two books for the month in February, but I have excuses. It was a short month and this book had lots of pages. (Wow, I’m lame.)

Ann Rule writes a lot of these true crime books, and I know I read a lot of them prior to puberty, but it’s kind of fun to go back and re-read them. Once I read all of the books in the world, I’ll have to go back and give some more of her books a once over.

For March, I’m picking shorter books because I have some making up to do!

a wallflower i’m usually not

After disclosing my resolution to read two books a month to my Work BFF™*, she said I might enjoy The Perks of Being a Wallflower. She said it was a quick read, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I brought in the Laurie Notaro book from last week and we did the geekiest thing I’ve ever done: BOOK SWAP. This was on Thursday (or maybe it was Friday) and I’m excited to say that I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night, which is why I was late getting to a party. (Mark this day down in history, please. Wendy was late to a party because she was reading a book.)

The book is a series of letters written over the course of about a year by a high school freshman named Charlie. We don’t really know who Charlie’s writing the letters to, as they’re all addressed to “Dear Friend”. Reading Charlie’s letters are like listening to me talk for more than 10 minutes – each thing he mentions leads him to something else and he eventually finds himself way off topic. I obviously followed it quite well.

I laughed a few times; I felt bad for Charlie more than a few times. I’m usually not in the position of being a wallflower-type of person, so to a degree, it opened my eyes to see that – hey! There are always people around like that and who knows, they could be going home to write a letter to an undisclosed person about me. And what an awesome letter it would be, I might add.

It was a really good book and I’m glad I read it. I guess that’s my main goal when reading books. I just want to a) finish the book without skimming through pages like I’m prone to do and b) be glad that I actually read it. So far, in 2007, I’m definitely 2 for 2.

I’ve been halfway through Cash: The Autobiography since November and I think that’s the next one I’m going to try to finish up. Between Knitting Club on Tuesday, Vegas this weekend, and photography class starting up next Wednesday, I may be glad that I’ve got my two books out of the way for January!

*When I worked at Best Buy, they would always make us fill out a survey about four times a year, always asking if we had a best friend at work. I’ve always thought it was extremely hilarious and that’s why I always make sure I have one. Now that I don’t work there, I should really start telling you some of the real stories from behind the scenes during my AMAZING almost three years at that place…

i love laurie notaro a lot

Oh, that’s right. I read another book. One down for 2007.
Per a recommendation by The Cuz, I ordered The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life from Amazon. I don’t even remember when it came in the mail, but I hadn’t opened it until recently. I started reading it less than three days ago and now I’m done. And now I want to read more from her right now. 

I only read when on the crapper, so my books stay stacked on my bathroom sink. But I liked this one so m much I found myself standing in the bathroom for no reason reading a chapter or two.

The chapters were short and that automatically made me a fan. But not only were the chapters short, they were also funny and so easy for me to relate to that it was almost embarrassing. Especially when I was relating most to stories of people being passed out in a stranger’s front yard.

I made some New Year’s resolutions. #7 on the list is read two books a month. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve read over 10 books in a year, let alone 24. I have a couple more here I need to finish up, but I want to ask for recommendations from you. You guys read, right?

David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Judy Blume – these are the authors I love. In 2006, I already read books about strippers living in Minneapolis, a really badly misbehaved large dog, and dog trainers from Mexico, all of which I very much enjoyed. Short chapters, not a lot of thought, and some how related to me – those are the books I loved the most.

What’s a book you love that maybe I would love, keeping in mind the above information as well as my constant struggles in reading?

marley & me by john grogan

Another book I finished this summer? Marley & Me.

A first-time dog owner with a dog whose owner called him the World’s Worst Dog – does anyone see a resemblance here?

The cover of the book alone wouldn’t let me leave the book sitting there on the shelf of my local Barnes & Noble. For a fleeting moment, I thought about taking them all home, so each book would have a home. Yes, that’s how obsessed with dogs I’ve become since The Riley Arrival.

While scaring the shit out of a litter of puppies isn’t exactly how I came to pick my goofy dog as mine, it seemed to have work for author John Grogan. Besides, mine was the only one left – if I would have tried to scare him, he would have just sat and stared at me just as long as I wasn’t carrying the new floor lamp I bought that scaries the living hell out of him when I touch it to power it on and off.

With each chapter I read, the similiarities I found between Marley and Riley were… well, scary. The jumping, the chewing, the destruction, and the fierce loyalty – yeah, I had no problem visualizing and connecting with every experience mentioned. Any dog owner that hasn’t experienced at least one thing in this book must have a dog that was put together mechcanically. Separation anxiety, barrier frustration — been there, done that, if you’ll recall. Now, i’m beginning to think those were just fancy words for ‘desperately seeking every ounce of your attention’.

I started this book as I boarded a flight a couple of weeks ago and finished it up before landing in Newark, NJ. Except for the last chapter. I needed a break from the book before finishing the book, as I would imagine any dog-owner/dog-lover would.

When I found out John Grogan had a blog, I had to add it to my RSS reader. I was in hysterics today when I read about his new Golden Retriever’s run-in with Cesar Milan.

Read the blog and read the book; they’re both more than worth your time.