two dolla

at this point i’m done with susan g komen

It’s taken me a couple of days to feel like I have my arms around the situation enough to actually say anything about it. More than anything, it’s made me feel unbelievably sad because I’ve devoted seven years to raising money and awareness for the Susan G Komen and it hurts to walk away from something I’ve given so much – physically, mentally and financially – to over most of my adult life. But unless things take a drastic change, I’m washing my hands of the organization as a whole and will find another way to help fight for a cure for cancer.

I know you’re going to ask why, so here you go:

1. SGK pulled their grants from Planned Parenthood stating the reason they’re doing it is because Planned Parenthood is under federal investigation. I understand that and wasn’t ready to walk away just yet. And then I read today that they’re funding a cancer research center at Penn State to the tune of $7.5 million. Penn State is currently under federal investigation. See how that doesn’t match up?

2. They pulled funding for stem cell research, another move that screams pro-life, pro-political and forgets everything about it being a non-profit aimed at helping find a cure for cancer.

3. The new Vice President of Public Policy, Karen Handel, tried to run for Governor for Georgia on a gigantic platform of taking all of the funding away from Planned Parenthood. She’s never made her agenda a secret and, while a lot of the things posted about her may seem libelous, they also hold true to exactly what’s going on. And then I have to see stuff like this:

It all boils down to money. We know that. My money and my time and my heart will no longer go towards Komen. There are plenty of other organizations out there that can help us find a cure. Until they manage to straighten out this political nonsense, I don’t want to be involve. My favorite thing that The 3 Day brought to me was passion. I’ve been so passionate about finding a cure, knowing that surely it’s right around the corner. And now, the organization as a whole just doesn’t seem to have that passion anymore.

If things change, and I sure hope they do, you’ll find me right back on The 3 Day train, but until then, I’m taking a step or two back. It’s not me, Komen folks, it’s definitely you.

why this gay is tired of the glitter bombing

Mitt Romney was in Minnesota today and what happens? He gets glitter bombed. We made that prediction this morning before he even got to town.

I’m so over throwing glitter at politicians. Okay, it hilarious when the glitter came out of a cheez it box at Newt Gingrich. We all got our chuckle when anyone with the name Bachmann gets a pile of glitter thrown at them. Although, wouldn’t a bag of wrenches be even more hilarious?

Gay, listen. Can we try something else? The glitter bombing is tired. Do something really annoying. But one stupid piece of glitter on someone’s cheek, so they spend the whole day with it on there and don’t notice it until the end of the day. That right there is embarassing.

I mean, if we’re going to make a stand or prove a point, can we try doing it with something really crazy, like words? Or even signs? I mean, YAY, you dumped your kid’s art project leftovers on Republican candidates for president. But who does that prove a point to? If you’re trying to win over the supporters of those candidates, you’re failing. It’s not funny to them and it just makes gays look like a bunch of immature brats. That’s not going to get us what we want, you know?

Think about it. I’d like a raise at work. I’m not going to bust into my boss’s office throwing confetti in her general direction while there are hundreds of people standing around. That’s not how things get done. Can we try harder, please?

nice work, minnesota state government

The state government is at a standstill right now, with the governor and legislature not being able to agree on state spending for the next couple of years. That means we can’t keep things up and running like rest areas or state parks right now, but sure as hell can worry about whether or not gays should be allowed to marry each other. I’m really glad to see your priorities in such a perfect order. Closed are the Minnesota state parks, the state lottery, the tourism office, state licensing boards, the Minnesota Zoo. No more road repairs. A possible loss of funding in the public transportation around here and some state-funded childcare options are going to disappear, which means not only are all of these state employees going to be losing their jobs for the time being, but people that depend on the state to help them could likely lose their jobs, too.

So, thank you, you jackasses. You’ve played these asinine games with my civil rights, but in the meantime, you can’t even keep your state up and running. I hope it was worth it.

today i’m disappointed in twin cities pride

As someone of the homosexual variety, there’s a lot of stuff going down in Minnesota that will effect my future. Most importantly, voters will have the opportunity to vote on whether or not civil marriage will be limited to straight people. (You can read more here.) Everyone gets to vote for that, right? All of the hundreds of thousands of people who will flock to Minneapolis next week to celebrate Pride will have a say in that, which is awesome. But the other hundreds of thousands of people who think gays are an abomination and do nothing but think about sex and try to spread gay around the world, they get to vote, too.

(Awkward segue.)

Today happens to the Twin Cities Pride Family Picnic, which is sponsored by awesome companies like Cub Foods and US Bank. Families get to meet in the park and have a huge barbecue. They have a ton of activities for kids. There’s softball, games, etc. All of it’s free and it’s a fantastic way to have families, gay or otherwise, meet new people that clearly have the same beliefs, etc. as them. I’ve never been, because it’s usually on Father’s Day, and The Kid is with his dad, and we do our own thing. But from everything I’ve ever heard, it’s just a fantastic event.

And today, I see this tweet:

And I think to myself, “Well, that’s nice. Let me click on that picture and see what nice things are happening at the Pride Picnic today.”

This is apparently what’s happening at the Pride Picnic today:

REALLY? Out of all the things taking place at a family picnic, the Twin Cities Pride organization decides this would be the most appropriate photo to share to all of its followers? There weren’t any families there having lunch or kids running around playing games or some massive softball game going on? A phallic picture of a hot dog is the best you can get? I’m angry/disappointed that an organization I value as highly as Twin Cities Pride would allow this to happen.

You would think the uphill battle we have to face in the next 1.5 years would be in the front of their minds right now. Images like this, especially when linked directly to the Twin Cities Pride organization, are exactly the fuel anti-gay people need to convince people to vote for a ban on gay marriage. It takes what little credibility gays have with narrow minded people and flushes it down the drain. We try hard enough to convince people that gays just aren’t sex-obsessed weirdos that have a master plan to make all the world gay and things like this don’t help.

Try next time, whoever’s in charge of the Twin Cities Pride Twitter account. Maybe I’m being way too conservative and old fashioned about something like this, but it’s just adding fuel to a fire that doesn’t need any help right now.

all i want is consistency with this weather

One day earlier this week, as I was driving home from work, the thermometer in my car jumped up to 105. We had the air conditioner cranked at home and Riley thought he might die from the heat. This afternoon, it’s cloudy and gloomy and cold. The temperature is actually 62, but compared to earlier this week, I think I might need to scrape the ice from my windshield tomorrow morning. I don’t care so much about the temperature and how I might sweat my balls off one day in the summer or freeze those same balls off during the winter. I just want some consistency in this whole weather situation. I don’t think I’m asking for too much, am I? At this point, I’m gonna wind up investing in a slew of storage heaters just so my toes don’t freeze off this weekend. While running the air was the expense we were looking at over the summer, the fleeting thoughts I’m having about turning on the heat today or a little insane.

donation request: fail

If there is a sure fire way to get me to not donate to your organization, it’s to tell me that Christopher Straub wants me to do it.

For those of you that don’t care (like I wish I could), he was on the 6th season of Project Runway. He’s from the Twin Cities, but by the Twin Cities, I mean he grew up in Edina (people say EDINA stands for Every Day I Need Attention) and now he lives in Shakopee. If it weren’t for Jodi, I’d call Shakopee something super lame, too.

He makes boxer shorts out of “vintage” t-shirts. You know who else has that concept? The people that make reusable diapers.

When he was on the show, I had to watch two of  my co-workers imitate him every week because he cries like a four year old that finds out Santa Claus isn’t real and that it’s not some lady in a fairy costume putting money under your pillow when you lose your tooth. THAT’S YOUR MOM.

To make matters worse, I run into him occasionally. It happens when he’s like a gay icon in Minneapolis. He was the grand marshal of the Pride parade this year. I only know that because the douches that were driving him there almost ran over my feet in their mini van as they yelled at the police “CHRISTOPHER IS IN HERE!”. Gays, policemen don’t know who Christopher is. C’mon.

Also, Christopher, you’re white and not a gangster. Stop wearing your hat like this:

And why does your house look like something a 45 year old lady on the verge of hoarding would live in?

if pawlenty in 2012 happens, i will move to canada (also, suck it, pawlenty)

It’s never been any secret how much I can’t stand Minnesota’s current governor. Tim Pawlenty is, in short, a giant doucher. I’d be happier if I lived in a state where the governor was a deformed gnome that shit itself on a daily basis.

In 2006, he claimed his stance on crime included “more prisons and tougher penalties for sex offenders“. But in 2008 (that’s two years later for those that struggle with math), this happened. He pardoned a sex offender so the sex offender’s wife (the woman he pled guilty to statutorily raping 14 years ago) could open up a home daycare.  This guy’s record was completely wiped clean of anything related to that.

So guess what happened in the two years since that pardon? He sexually assaulted his child. Repeatedly. Now, because of Pawlenty, the child he assaulted and violated has the rest of her life to deal with things that nobody should have to deal with. Sure, this guy (and members of his family!) are saying the daughter just made it all up to get back at him. But yet he admitted “that on a few occasions his contact with the girl could be characterized as inappropriate”. WAIT, WHAT?

for my election day coverage

I am giving you ZERO Election Day coverage. Well, except this one thing.

I was playing Angry Birds last night on my phone. I do it sometimes to wind down at night and to just space out on smashing little green monsters with highly destructive tiny AND ANGRY birds.

All of a sudden, I get a tiny little pop up ad in the lower right hand side of my screen. It happens occasionally and I have no problem ignoring it. Except last night? IT WAS AN AD TELLING ME TO VOTE FOR MICHELLE BACHMANN.

Let me get right on re-electing someone to office that doesn’t think women should have control over their own bodies, hides in the bushes of gay rallies to find out what all those homos are raising a ruckus about, and tries to convince people via news interviews that the Iranian government is going to take over Israel and turn parts of it into some Islamic terrorist breeding ground. But first, let me Google this: “Michelle Bachmann” + crazy.

Go ahead. Do it. You’ll get my point. 

i wanted to hulk smash t-mobile

Last week, I realized I could order a cell phone through Amazon Wireless, save $75 more than if I ordered it through T-Mobile, and have free two day delivery. Okay, SOLD. My new phone will be here on Monday.

The General wasn’t eligible for the full upgrade discount, not for another six months, so taking advantage of the Amazon Wireless thing wasn’t going to work. And, c’mon, you know there’s no way one of us can have a new phone and the other one wait six months to get one.  We checked online and found a price of X. Thinking it was reasonable enough, especially for a new phone that is much, much, much smarter than our current craptastic BlackBerry Flips, we decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and get it. Off to the T-Mobile store we went.

Back tracking just a bit, we’ve been to multiple T-Mobile stores in the last three months attempting to upgrade our phones. Sometimes we’re told we’re not eligible for any upgrades at all. Sometimes, we talk with someone on T-Mobile’s Support Chat and get some information, only to be told that information is not correct when we actually step foot into a T-Mobile store. Sometimes I call and talk to someone on the phone, just in case my written communication skills via chat are a little hard to understand; usually I get the same answer just to confirm.

So today was it. We were going to go into the store, with all of the information we’d gained over the past few weeks and get a phone. The General was deciding between two different phones and we were all set to walk out the door with whichever one seemed to fit her needs the most. After some browsing, we finally got a chance to talk to a sales rep, who was incredibly helpful in explaining the differences between the two phones and letting us actually see how they work, instead of just hold the non-functioning store display in our hand. We were sold and he went off to check the prices. Oddly enough, they were at least $50 more if we bought them in the store.

I called T-Mobile later in the evening to find out if they could just place the order over the phone for me since I wasn’t going to be home until later and I knew The General’s patience was already wearing thin. He tells me he can, but it’s going to be, once again, at least $50 more than what it is online. I asked him why that was. And you know what his answer was? “Well, when you’re in a store or on the phone, you’re taking up peoples time, so it’s cheaper if you just do it online”.

Really? REALLY? As much as it pained me to do so, I refrained from profanity and just hung up on him. When we got home later that night, I ordered the phone, because really, we’re stuck for another two years anyway. We might as well have the phones we like.

But now, you can be so rest assured that I’ll never look on T-Mobile’s website again. My plan is to call them about everything. I just want to make sure I’m getting my money’s worth by “taking up peoples time”.

(Dear Ass, if it weren’t for customers calling, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE A JOB. Think on that little nugget for a while.)

i just need some bicycle clarification here

Courtesy of the City of Minneapolis’ website, I’ve learned some things about the cyclists I’m always complaining about on a pretty much daily basis. I can’t think of one commute to work (either before or after work) where I haven’t been very confused about what rules are actually supposed to be followed. I have a 2 mile commute.

Here’s my biggest complaint: When in the street, cyclists have all the rights and responsibilities of a car. Last time I drove a car, which was, you know, yesterday, I knew that I couldn’t run red lights. That apparently does not apply when you’re a cyclist according to every single bike commuter I seen going from Northeast Minneapolis to downtown.

As a driver, I’m expected to give a cyclist the entire width of a lane of traffic if there’s no other option for him/her, give them a three-foot or more clearance when passing, check for rear-approaching cyclists (giving them the right of way), and yield to them as pedestrians when they’re on the sidewalk. I do all of that and I do that consistently.

I understand that I’m in a motorized vehicle, which is much safer than a bicycle. But when a cyclist stops at a stoplight, looks both ways to realize there’s no traffic coming either way, and then blatantly goes through the stoplight, it seriously infuriates me.

I have a bike now. And I’m honestly kind of scared to ride it, because I don’t really know what rules are actually rules and what rules are just guidelines. C’mon, hardcore cycling folk, give me an example so I can ride my bike to work and not become decorations on the grill of a cement truck.