goodbye first trimester

We’re having another baby. I forget to post big things here anymore because it’s much easier to announce things in 140 characters or less. But since I’ve used this blog for pretty much every life altering event over the past 17+ years, I feel like I should elaborate for historical purposes.

Meet our new baby:


Well, there are a few differences now that I look at the picture:

  • We’re only having one.
  • It won’t come out with a helmet or a firearm.
  • And it probably won’t be green.

And really, even if this kid comes out green, I’m cool with that. The first bullet point has been confirmed a couple of times and we’ll be millionaires if the second one happens.

The process wasn’t nearly as easy for this early-2018 baby was it was for the soon-to-be big brother. I don’t know if we had unrealistic expectations this time or we’re just older, more mature (or geriatric according to my wife’s medical records…), or what, but it was tough to get to this point. Here’s how it worked with him:

  • February 10th, 2014: IUI procedure at our reproductive doctor’s office
  • February 25th, 2014: Multiple pregnancy tests were turning up positive.
  • Early March 2014: Couldn’t see his heartbeat, waited two weeks, finally saw his heartbeat.
  • November 2014: Ozzy was born and I didn’t blog about it. SORRY, SON.

This future baby worked like this:

  • Repeat Step 1 from above on in November 2016, December 2016, January 2017, March 2017 and May 2017. We had to skip February and April due to a couple of medical things that need to resolve themselves, and we only had one more shot that was covered by insurance.
  • May 18th: some positive pregnancy tests after a handful of negative ones in the span of about three days.
  • June 7th: Saw a heartbeat and a tiny ball of cells and graduated from the reproductive clinic a couple of weeks after that (which is a big deal in the TTC world).
  • July 6th: Saw an even better heartbeat, a wiggling little almost fetus and got the thumbs up that everything was looking pretty good.

And that’s where we are now. I really, really, really always have the best of intentions to write more about the process because I want to remember all of it… and then life gets in the way. A big part of life as it is right now includes a shaggy haired two year old with a farmer tan who really enjoys the phrase “WATCH THIS” and watching Moana and Cars on a rotation.

celebrating the day previously known as blogging for #LGBTQ families


There used to be this big deal on June 1st that was touted as Blogging for LGBT Families day or something like that. GLAAD would talk about it, the Family Equality Council provided a directory for it and it was kind of a big deal. But the last time I can find anything about it being actually “promoted” was 2014. I don’t know what happened, but I’m doing it today. (Quick edit because I’m not good at Googling: there is a Blogging for LGBT Families Day out there this year. Hooray!!)
I read a lot in different Facebook groups about other LGBT families encountering different bouts of discrimination or harassment, or even being questioned as if they’re really even a family. That really sucks. I also hear about non-biological parents not knowing how to respond when someone says their kid(s) look like them. I have other opinions on that. Point is, no matter what laws are passed or how many rainbow flags wind up in the air during the month of June, we can’t BE like other families we’re not acknowledged AS families. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. 

We’re pretty fortunate so far when it comes to being treated like a family. My name is on Ozzy’s birth certificate and it has been from the moment we filled it out. We live in a state that’s supportive of gay rights, so even if the current national administration decides to turn LGBT rights into their next distraction and turns it all over to the individual states, we’ll probably be “safe” with our current state leaders. I’m at least telling myself that so I can sleep at night. 
The political climate for the LGBT community is terrible. It’s uncomfortable and it’s unpredictable. Those things don’t make it quite as easy for an LGBT family because those are things that can lead to taking away the same familial conveniences that non-LGBT families don’t have to worry about on a regular basis. These things are forcing people like me to file legal paperwork to the courts to complete a second parent adoption for my son despite my name being listed on his birth certificate so we can keep our family intact. Does that seem right?

I’m proud of who I am and the path I took to get to all that I am today. I’m proud that my path took me to my wife and took us both to our son. And I’m proud of our family. My pride isn’t something that anyone will ever be able to take away from me. Try not to forget that.  

how to do all of the important parenting things in just one step

CLICK BAIT!

But since you’re here, let me share my expert advice on all of the important parenting things I’ve had to deal with in my many, many, many years (2.5 to be exact) of experience. Feel free to email my PR department if you’d like a copy of my resume, qualifications and references.

PLEASE HELP! What should I do when my child won’t: 

  • Sleep through the night
  • Gain weight
  • Latch
  • Stop biting
  • Sleep in their own bed
  • Meet all of the recommended things that the internet tells them to meet
  • Say the words you want them to say
  • Stop putting things in their mouth
  • Quit hitting the people that raise him
  • Keep their hands out of their diaper
  • Stop having meltdowns in public
  • Sit down and eat a meal at any given point of the day
  • Recite the population of the second largest city in every state
  • (Insert whatever parenting issue you’re dealing with right this very second)

RECOMMENDED SOLUTION:

Here’s your one easy step. Do your best, man. That’s the most important thing you need to do.

Everyone in the world is going to have advice. Everyone. I have received both requested and unsolicited parenting advice from the following:

  • Family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, someone I think maybe I’m related to somehow?)
  • Friends (ones with little kids, older kids and even no kids)
  • Co-Workers 
  • Medical Professionals (doctors, nurses, receptionists, lactation consultants, etc.)
  • Retail and Service Industry Employees 
  • Everyone on the Internet (like everyone – you don’t even have to know them)

It’s cool to ask for advice. It feels good that typically someone will get what you’re going through. And it’s also not going to feel good sometimes when you get answers that fill you with the rage of 1,000 angry bumblebees.

You’ll probably run in to a doctor who chastises you for letting your kid look at pictures on your phone while you’re waiting for his strep throat test to come back because, “Oh, screen time, huh?” Lest you be judged, lady. Lest you be judged.

And, Target employee, I’mma pretend you didn’t just ask me why my kid was out so late. I’ll give you three reasons: Don’t. You. Worry.

In Summary

It’s Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day if you’re celebrating it today. Sure, moms, today is your day according to the calendar and the greeting card industry. Maybe you’re getting a bit of a reprieve since everyone’s supposed to be on their best behavior on this Day of the Mom. Maybe your two year old is actually wearing pants, isn’t saying “help, mama” every 10 seconds and isn’t using a three foot long train track as a drumstick while all you’re trying to do is catch up on Lip Sync Battle. Either way is okay and you’re okay.

You’re better than okay. You’re doing a job that’s really, really hard. Nobody else is doing it the same way as you are and nobody’s more right than you. The best thing that you can do as a parent, and even as a person, is to just do your best. You got this.