Rep. Ike Skelton, a conservative Missouri Democrat, said he thinks the debate in Congress over the proposed repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” law might force families to explain homosexuality to their children. (via 365gay.com)

Ike represents MO’s 4th Congressional District, which happens to cover the town I lived in for the first 23 years and 11 months of my life. He’s been in office since BEFORE I WAS BORN. Things have changed a lot since then, Ike. A loaf of bread was 36 cents and a gallon of gas was 65 cents.

Heaven forbid parents have to explain things that happen in society to their children. Let’s throw all the homeless people in jail, make sure anyone with any type of handicap never comes outside, and banish anyone that’s not a white middle or upper class family into some deep dark portion of a forest where nobody will ever have to see them. I think you’re on the right path, Ike.

His biggest concerns are the families, which is very sentimental, but with a mug like that, he’s going to scare people long before he even gets a chance to talk to them about the horrible stories of gays risking their life by fighting for their country.

Sorry for the all gay all the time stuff lately, but, hey. I’m queer, I’m here. Get used to it. (I suppose that’s my official coming out on twodolla.org, in case you wanted to mark that on your calendar.)

Today, the person that works at the front desk got a phone call that with something like this:

Front Desk Person: “Blah blah blah. Can I help you?”
Person the Phone: “Hi, this is the Republican National Committee.”
Front Desk Phone (most certainly not a fan of any committee that starts with the word Republican): “Oh, really?”
Person the Phone: “Did you know Barack Obama is a terrorist?”
Front Desk Phone: “Thanks for calling” and that was the end of that call.

Now we all know it wasn’t Republican National Committee. They may be a bunch of crazies I don’t agree with, but I don’t think they’d stoop that low. And it just sucks that this election has turned into a situation where individuals (or small politically unsponsored groups) are taking it upon themselves to encourage the mudslinging and the namecalling.

I’m pretty much ready for this election to be over.

The RNC is taking place in St. Paul right now. Minneapolis/St. Paul as a whole, as far as I know and want to believe, is a pretty liberal locale – it’s one of the main reasons I like living here so much. Considering this, I can’t really say I’m surprised by the 250+ people (all protesting the RNC in some fashion, including a 78 year old nun and even four journalist) that have wound up in handcuffs since Saturday.

We didn’t have any source of news while we were camping this weekend, with the exception of occasional twitters about what was going on and a quick glance at the StarTrib through my phone’s tiny browser once or twice while we were there. I just know it was bad enough that I was a little scared of coming back.

I mean, seriously? This happened in a downtown metro area:

Granted, everything that’s going on like this, including the houses that were raided on suspicion of “terroristic activities” (according to the police warrant) aren’t all that close to my apartment, I’m definitely not looking forward to going into work tomorrow – most of the delegates and important RNC-type folks are staying in hotels within a pretty tight radius of where I work and I really don’t want to deal with worrying about someone dumping a 5-gallon bucket of weaponized urine on my head.

My thoughts are clearly scattered about this whole situation and I’m sure it’s because I’ve never experience anything of the nature and never thought I’d experience anything like it.

Downtown St. Paul looks like a scene from a movie, where there are 10-12 feet barbed wire fences blocking off a radius from the RNC’s locale, choppers flying overhead, and gaggles of cops full of testosterone and what they’re treating as instant and unlimited power. It’s gross and I kind of hate it right now.

I’m just glad it will all be done after Thursday. And I’m kind of glad that Bush, Cheney, and what appears to be McCain have decided to band together and physically stop the hurricane from smashing into Louisiana. My suggestion is to probably offer up Sarah Palin’s whore daughter* to the hurricane as a peace offering to God; she could totally save the world.

*I don’t really think Bristol Palin is a whore. I think her mom’s a whore for naming her after a NASCAR racing location.

According to a news release from the Coast Guard, the woman had been traveling with her boyfriend on the Costa Mediterranea when "she had become angry and agitated and then unexpectedly jumped overboard."

Knowing what I know about the Costa Mediterranea and being obsessed with each and everyone one of it’s cruising schedules, I’m 99% sure the lady was going on the same cruise we went on in January. And I also happen to know that if it was reported at 1:18 a.m on Sunday morning, that means they’d just left Ft. Lauderdale six hours ago!

Lady. You paid for that cruise, you idiot. Or maybe your boyfriend did, but still. Jump at the end, dumbass. Not at the beginning. You totally missed a day in Key West yesterday, and trust me, you would have loved it a lot.

And really, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think anyone on that boat is concerned that you’re not there. Including your boyfriend. Unless he pushed you, because I don’t see any guy looking longingly off the back of the boat, waiting for you to swim by.

It’s a good thing my grandma just called and asked Riley (or Rilo, as she calls him) to come out for lunch, or I’m not sure how I’d face the world today.

I’m also getting a tattoo this week, dammit. I can not wait any longer! (And I know if I don’t do it this week, I have to wait until after the cruise and then OHMIGOD I can’t wait that long.)

Seven students from Hazel Park Middle School Academy in St. Paul were taken to hospitals Tuesday after ingesting crystal methamphetamine. … The girl confided that the group of students, including six girls and one boy, had found a substance and “ingested” it, officials said. (link)

Okay, what?  Granted, this isn’t the best neighborhood in the world. I lived about two miles from Hazel Park when I first moved to Minnesota, and the house I lived in was broken in at least half a dozen times. And come to think of it, I had a kitchen knife shoved through my bedroom door by a kid who went to that school, if that tells you the kind of population that makes up its attendance.

According to the school’s news website, this mysterious “substance”, which isn’t identified in a letter sent home to parents, was passed around during lunch. I’m almost 30 years old and I actually had to look up how to properly ingest meth. I’m honestly not embarrassed by that either.

When I was 13 or 14 and sitting around during lunch while in middle school, do you know what we did? We talked about our middle school band teacher’s wife was surely a bitch and how we were going to get out of running lines in basketball practice after school. We weren’t really bringing unidentified substances into school and haranguing our friends until they put them in their mouth.

I keep forgetting that 15 year ago, the New Kids on the Block were battling it out with Bon Jovi to be our favorite band, and tight rolling jeans and wearing big hair had just gone out of fashion.  It continues to boggle my mind that kids are into things like this so early in life.

People who love to travel don’t bother if they are staying in hotels or going on cruises. For them cheap flights or expensive car rental don’t make a difference.

DES MOINES, Iowa – A Polk County judge on Thursday struck down Iowa’s law banning gay marriage and ordered the county recorder to permit gay and lesbian couples to marry (via)

My favorite response to people against allowing gays and lesbians to marry? Disappointment. Is it disappointing because the homos are going to make marriage not as sacred at it should be? Never mind the Hollywood stars who get married for three months before calling it quits, or the reality show people who want the entire process up to their weddings all on TV for everyone to see – both of those examples just scream PERFECT EXAMPLE OF A NORMAL MARRIAGE to me.

Gov. Chet Culver issued a statement stating his opposition to gay marriage.  “While some Iowans may disagree on this issue, I personally believe marriage is between a man and a woman,” Culver said.

But yet he fails to say why he “personally believes” that. Nice one, Chet.

I’m sure it’s just a short-term victory, but I’d almost pay money to see the line at the courthouse tomorrow morning in Des Moines with people applying to get their marriage licenses.

And you know why I don’t have her song as my cell phone ring anymore? Glad you asked.

The person in the cube next to me heard my phone ring one day and she asked me where I got the ring tone. I told her I’d downloaded it from T-Mobile’s website, and she said, “That’s so awesome! I have to download it!” (or something like that.) I kind of discounted her excitement and her love for my ring tone until a few days later when I hear “Rehab” ringing from a muffled area.

Since that was my ring tone, I grabbed my phone out of my cargo pants pocket and, oh wait, that’s not my phone ringing. It’s my cube neighbor’s phone!

That’s when I changed over to “You’re a crazy bitch, but you (pause, because apparently T-Moblie isn’t a fan of the F word) so good, I’m on top of it. When I dream I’m doing you all night, scratches all down my back to keep me right on.”

And I don’t like knowing that not all of my people are home safe and sound.