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I just used ingredients to make something, instead of the microwave start button. It still has to bake, but I’m off to a good start! #
@best_day_ever would a can of sparks work? #
@best_day_ever it could! but i don’t think that’s a good choice. let’s make good choices tonight. #
@fluidpudding I Googled her and I hope [...]

@best_day_ever please steal maddog’s mormon underpants while you’re out there #
I love that the stripper staff at Dream Girls also doubles as the wait staff for Sneaky Pete’s. #
It’s fancy business suit time again. Please send awesome thoughts. #
FYI: Bob Saget is in town this Friday. Seriously. #
Note to self: don’t call the lady you’re [...]

Scrub off the stamp you have on your hand from your trip to bar the night before.
If you’re wearing earrings, wear both of them.
Always chew gum on the way to the interview. Even if you did brush your teeth, you could still burp the hot dog you had for lunch.
Brush your teeth while naked. You [...]

Questions You Should Ask in Your Job Interview
Just in case any of you are in my unemployed shoes.

No luck RickRolling Grumpy’s! They got the Bay City Rollers instead. Even if it is Tuesday! #
Who has 2 thumbs and has to go back to the bar because she left her glasses on the table? Yeah. #
It takes more hair product to make my hair all professional than it does to make it awesome. [...]

“Bromances aren’t uncommon as guys delay marriage”
For guys, it’s called a bromance. For ladies, you’re either a spinster or a dyke.

Team brass sees Astley as ghastly
The Mets won’t let their fans get RickRolled. LAME.

Can someone please deliver a 12 pack of anything not diet and with caffeine to my apartment stat? Thanks! #
@reversecowgirl That requires leaving. Which I want to avoid! Plus I think the Hooker is out of gas. But thanks! #
@agent_zero That’s a thought! A 12 pack of Coke and five bottles of Wild Island Boone’s [...]

These were taken by in November 2007; I just got the CD of pictures today. No big deal; I just like having pictures that other people have taken from my dog. And considering this was his first fancy photo shoot inside a studio, I was anxious to get my hands on them.
There was a letter [...]

18 Five-Minute Decluttering Tips to Start Conquering Your Mess | Zen Habits
After boxes upon boxes of trash and hours upon hours of cleaning, I’m determined to keep shit straight in my new place.

Mini-Pug on Mini Lounge (via Cute Overload!)
I depend on Jenni to send me the occasional link to this site, because I’d stare at [...]

@agent_zero pizza party at my place! i have coupons! #
My dog is licking the carpet. I always thought he was gay… Maybe he’s a lesbian. #

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