two dolla

There are approximately 227 different reasons I’ll be happy to move out of my current apartment, and I’m sad that I won’t be able to get rid of them for another five months. I’ve already irritated two apartment leasing people, because they think it’s asinine I’m checking into their buildings this early. Hi, I like [...]

During football season and in Minnesota, there are parties full of purple all the time. Or at least there used to be before the Vikings started sucking even more than before. But this Purple Party is the only one you’d find me at anytime soon.
I’ve never actually known anyone with Alzheimer’s, but before I [...]

This weekend, I was in charge of buying a wedding gift, wrapping it, and bringing it to the wedding/reception. The latter of those two never happened, but I didn’t feel too bad about it, because who needs two big boxes from Crate & Barrel when you’re headed for two weeks in Tahiti and Bora Bora, [...]

I keep trying to do a recap about The 3 Day, but it’s just not working. Twice my browser has crashed midway through, so clearly it’s a sign you’re never supposed to know about it.
If someone can tell me how my dog’s mouth can smell like an ass a mere 24 hours after he got [...]

It’s starting to storm here again and it seems pretty severe according to the news. I missed the window of opportunity to take Riley outside before it started pouring, which meant our three minutes outside warranted standing outside while it was lightening. Not the safest thing I’ve ever done, but there are still about two [...]

Before he took the field tonight for the first time with his new team and before he changed shirts three times and before BECKHAMCAM was activated on ESPN2, the very beautiful (and I’ve heard very charming) David Beckham had dinner tonight. Here’s his credit card receipt:
You know who was with him, right? His beautiful wife, [...]

I got an email from my mom this morning, telling me about this incident.
Police have identified Christopher Peavey as the man who died this morning at the Missouri Entertainment and Event Center. Peavey, a long-time concessions vendor at the fair, was electrocuted while tearing down his stand, police said.
We called him Chip when we [...]

It was during hockey season this past winter where I figured out the wonderment behind CamelBak and their beautiful bite-and-suck bottles. I may have been drinking a wicked combination of GoldSchlager and Sour Apple Pucker (that’s puckschlager for you new people) in the back seat of Matt’s car in a parking garage, which probably wasn’t [...]

Our pancake breakfast was a success this morning. Matt, Jenni, Katie, and I spent a lot of time standing outside of a shopping mall with large posters, encouraging mall-walkers and shoppers alike that they needed some tasty pancakes (and bacon) to start out their day. Our efforts harassing the public brought in at least a [...]

Naked Lady Air Fresheners
Originally uploaded by twodolla

You know what else those thieving bastards that broke into my car last night/this morning took?
My Naked Lady Air Fresheners. This leads me to believe they were quite possibly just going through puberty and/or hadn’t seen nipples in a long time. Why else would they steal three stripper-scented air [...]