I can’t even explain to you how many times I’ve sat down in front of my computer, opened up WordPress and then just stared at it because I don’t know how to title my post. It’s like I’m trying to title a Pulitzer Prize winning novel, except harder because I’ve already done that (in my head) at least five dozen times.

Things have been busy around this neck of the urban woods. We have 27 days until we go to Vegas and 33 days until we can move into our new house. We’ve already made one trip to Goodwill and have plans for at least one more before we move, because as much as I love my stuff I’ve had for years and have never taken out of a box, I like not having to carry as much boxes even better.

I found a box of various greeting cards that possibly date back until the 1980s. Thanks to a suggestion from Dez (courtesy of Mrs. Dez), I’m totally scanning them and putting them into a hard cover book, so I can just throw the box away. I think it comes from growing up with two grandmas that had the most fantastic photo albums ever, but I just love being able to go back and look at those kinds of things. And, yes, that’s including the note from my fourth grade teacher, who thanked me for taking care of our classroom guinea pig (Chipper) over Christmas break. I also passed several years of swimming lessons with flying colors, in the event that you’re curious. And my letters to Santa? Very well thought out for a six year old.

And the Beanie Babies. Damn those things. I don’t even care about them, but I spent way too much time on Ebay trying to find certain ones to just throw them out… possibly over 15 years ago. Sigh. Who wants some Beanie Babies? Most have the tags!

I think I said this when we moved into this house, but I really mean it moving into this next one. I seriously don’t want to move again for at least two years. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you’d like to drink, 12 cities you’d like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

I’m picking 12 things I want to do in 2012, which was a bit tricky since I have a ton of stuff left to go on my 101 things in 1001 days list, too.

1. Jump off the Stratosphere. (I’m planning on it in February; I just can’t chicken out!)
2. Visit the Neon Graveyard in Vegas. (Also planned.)
3. Date night with The General once a month that doesn’t involve running errands.
4. Learn how to tune up my bike on my own (or get a new bike).
5. Spend a weekend in Duluth.
6. Get back into a habit of taking multivitamins, fish oil, etc.
7. Get some legal documents created. (Requirement needed: lawyer)
8. Figure out what to do with these five million Beanie Babies I have.
9. Play poker with people instead of Facebook douchebags.
10. Cross stitch something.
11. Conceive.
12. Propose.

Fairly simple, yes?

I hate it when people make these, so I’m totally doing it. That makes sense, right?

1. Find my camera. (It’s to the point where I don’t care about the camera; I just want the memory card.)
2. Rake the yard.
3. Go to the pumpkin patch.
4. Carve pumpkins.
5. At least 15 hours of freelance work.

• Finished up work for the day and actually left less than 30 minutes after I was supposed to (record for this week!).
• Decided to head to Joe’s cabin for the night tomorrow night.
• Checked on our garden.
• Swam 440 yards (that’s a shade over 1/4 mile for you non-professional swimmers out there).
• Had dinner.
• Went to the grocery store.
• Made a large container of an alcoholic beverage.
• Cleaned out the cooler.
• Checked my beer stock for the weekend.
• Watched Marshall climb in and out of a paper Target bag at least a dozen times. I’m not buying that fuzzball anymore toys ever again.

This is my list of things I would like to buy right now, except they’re either A) wicked expensive or B) wicked impractical. Or both. Listed in no particular order:

• a Mini Cooper Countryman (RED, DUH.)
• a 2012 Buddy 170 (I’d prefer silver, but would not be sad about a green one!)
• a lifetime supply of, um, goods from Cryogenic Labs
• Tickets to the WNBA All-Star Game in San Antonio (even though the Lynx ticket reps tried telling someone it was in Tulsa?)
• an iPad 2
• this bitchin’ cat gym for Marshall and Dre (or other friends that might want to hang out there)
• a digital SLR (leaning towards Canon because of my familiarity with the brand, but have heard glorious reviews about Nikon)
• this cruise (along with the coinciding airfare to New Orleans) for January ’12

This list has been compiled while I’ve been procrastinating finishing up some freelance work, which is about… oh, that’s right: procrastination.

1. Oprah.

2. This video:

3. The fact that the Black Eyed Peas changed the words to their song to INCLUDE Oprah.

4. Oprah jumping and singing to hip-hop-ish songs.

5. The fact that T-Mobile sponsored this entire thing.

6. Wet socks.

• Funny thing? I’ve lost 15 pounds over the past three months without really trying all that hard. It doesn’t sound like all that much, but here’s the funny thing — it makes me no longer morbidly obese and I’m no longer eligible for weight loss surgery. The latter wasn’t at all something I was considering (too scary, plus I like cheeseburgers, pizza, and soda pop too much), but it’s kind of a monumental number when you’re trying to knock some of those rolls off your body.
• All of our dogs and The Boy are at The Boy’s Dad’s house right now. He’s watching them all while The General and I go to Milwaukee tomorrow (and for the weekend). It’s way too quiet in here. Like creepy quiet. Our fish aren’t nearly as needy as those damn dogs.
• Between The General and I, we’ve managed to take on enough freelance work the past two weeks to pay for our hotel room, a rental car (the Dead Hooker/Lucky Number Seven is getting old and wobbly), and all the gas we’ll need. I’ve been tired as hell and way behind on Intervention reruns, but it’s kinda cool to not have to worry about all that.
• I’m very excited to spend the weekend in Milwaukee, both to show The General around the city and hang out with Rick, Brooke, and the mafia again.
• I’m working a half day tomorrow. It was originally supposed to be 8-12, but then I mentioned that I was probably going to work 7-11 instead. My co-workers do not believe I’ll make it there by 7, so I’m going to try to get there at 6:30 JUST TO PROVE A POINT. And then you can be damn sure that I’m leaving at 10:30!

1. Yesterday, I woke up and went to the store to get some donuts and coffee before The General woke up. While I was determining which delicious pastry from Super America I wanted, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. It was a very scantily clad lady, standing about 6 feet tall. She had on gold strappy high heels and a purple jumper/dress that possibly exposed her uterus. And lots of gold chains. I’m thinking hooker, but I try not to judge. She apparently needed a morning refreshment of a slushy – a 1/3 cherry and 2/3 grape slushy as a matter of fact. I love the things that I can see in our gas station that early in the morning without feeling at all threatened. Things like that really make me love this neighborhood.
2. We went to Jenni’s birthday party last night. Not more than two hours after I got there, I walked downstairs to find Pete laying on the basement floor with his shorts pulled down enough to expose his entire ass and Klein standing directly above him dripping candle wax from a tealight candle onto a patch of hair that was on his back. The wax that had already been dripped onto him was covered with note paper that they give away at Holiday Inn. I have pictures and video, but then again, they do show a grown man’s bare ass and the grown man’s best friend attempting to wax his back hair.
3. I finally got a new cable to re-attach my CD Rom drive yesterday. I haven’t been able to use it for months. I’m not going to lie — the only reason I got it is so I could buy Sims 3, which means if you think my posting is slim-to-none now, just you wait. I love me some Sims.

It’s be 2+ weeks since I actually posted something, which is kinda crazy for me… And, because I know the world doesn’t like reading long paragraphs, here’s a list of things that have happened since then:

1. I celebrated my 7th year of living in Minnesota!
2. I got a Blackberry, thanks to Matilda444′s generosity.
3. I’ve been to at least 6 Timberwolves games courtesy of Suzi and/or Work, which means my seats have always been ridiculously awesome and free.
4. I went to therapy.
5. I turned 31 and the celebration was the most low key I’d had in years. Apparently I’m an adult now?
6. I got a Nintendo Wii with my birthday money from my parents, my gramma, and the proceeds from the trip to the Casino The General funded.
7. We got a Wii Fit in the mail today, because we just had to have one.
8. The General and I have started a pretty awesome diet regimen (if that’s the right word) and we’re both motivated to stick to it, which is pretty awesome.

So, yeah. A lot going on, but it’s been all pretty awesome things. My therapist said I should take times to do things that I love and I felt too nerdy to tell her that blogging was something that I loved. I should probably figure out how to blog from email so I can do it from work over my lunch break, because twodolla.org is blocked from my work domain – PORNOGRAPHY, it says. Sorry about that, IT Department.

• With Jenni and Matt in Jamaica, I’m car-sitting for Anna, Matt’s Grand Am. I forgot that driving a car makes me feel like I’m sitting on a skateboard.
• If you’re on LinkedIn and we’re not connected, we totally should be. Who knows. We might need to conduct some business together.
• I’ve been catching up on TV the past couple of days and I’m completely appalled at some of the final 36 on American Idol.
• We’ve been in the new place about a month and I’m still not used to only having a bathtub. I really miss my shower.
• Do people still say “newbie”? I just typed it in an email and then promptly deleted it, because I felt like it dated me.
• My parents celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary on Friday. 38 years. Damn.
• Speaking of LinkedIn, my brother calls himself the “Head of Research and Development”. I forget that you get to add shit to your titles like that when you live in a small town.
• I wanted to write a paragraph tonight, but, well… that didn’t happen.