an update on our junebug

June’s been with us for just about two months and I had no idea a tiny puppy would be more work that a large puppy. LESSON LEARNED. But in a good loving way, of course.

We were at the vet this past Saturday so both dogs could get some boosters for their recent vaccines. Trips to the vet mean temperatures have to be taken. In the butt. Riley’s used to it. He doesn’t like it, but he takes it without any trouble at all. June is another f’ing story. Last time we were there, the vet held her while the vet tech took the temperature and you would have thought someone was swinging her around by her tail with as much screaming and crying she was doing. I thought I had a solution this time.

Just like I always do with Riley, I held her face in my hands and told her she was a good girl and yadda yadda googooo gaga and before I knew it, that little piranha had bit my finger. I have a tooth mark just underneath my right index finger and one about an inch below that. She was not a happy camper. We’ve made up since then, but from now on, she can just scream like a little baby when she gets her temp taken. I value my fingers too much!

Other than drawing blood from my finger, she’s also learned how to sit very well and she almost has “look at me” down pat. “Come” is hit or miss, but gravitating more towards working most of the time. Most importantly, we’re working on “shake”, “roll over”, and “BELLY!!!!”, which will clearly get her far in life. She’s learned how to climb the three stairs from the backyard into the house, but her attempts at jumping on furniture has repeatedly failed. She’s got the height in her jump, but she hadn’t quite figured out how to propel herself forward. In other words, she’s like a damn pogo stick. But a cute little furry one that wears sweaters, because the central air makes her shake.

She has a rough life.

Your Lesson Regarding Bark Collars as a Dog Owner Responsibility

I try not to get overly riled up about anything in the news. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It just means that if I did get super mad about all the things that I feel that passionately about, I’d be angry all the time and put off such bad energy that the guy operating the crane in the construction site across from my office would probably start crying and end up dropping a large beam on my building. Nobody wants that.

In recent local news, a pit bull mix was taken from his yard and/or squeezed out of the fence and wound up with some unexplained injuries. Regardless of what happened, it’s a horrible, horrible thing to have happen to your pet. However. (In your head, you should have heard a very exasperated sigh.)

Don’t ever leave your dogs alone. Ever. People will steal your dog. When Riley was a puppy, someone broke into the house where he was staying at the time and tried to tie a leash around his neck so they could take him. They likely thought he was a pit bull and thought they’d be super bad ass, but when they realized he takes treats with his lips like a cow and gets upset if he doesn’t have a pillow to put his head on, they probably would have beat the crap out of him. People are really stupid.

Now, at 71 pounds, Riley’s a full grown adult, but he still looks intimidating. I live in a neighborhood where it’s nice to have an intimidating dog, but it’s also a little bit of a status thing, too. In North Minneapolis, lots of people are out walking their bully breed dogs and I’m sure they’e in high demand when they look as healthy as Riley. He’s pretty protective of his yard and doesn’t even like it when our 83 year old neighbor is out there watering his plants eight times a day. Give the right person the right snack or treat and Riley probably wouldn’t hesitate to go with them, you know?

And little June could be swiped up with one opening of a gate, shoved in a bag, and easily walked away with. She can slip under the gate in 2 seconds and she doesn’t care if we’re in the backyard when she does it. She gets bored with the gigantic yard we have and needs to see what’s outside of the gate, I have used the TreeHousePuppies noise collars which are electric bark collars that help with the bark control. She’s a master at finding holes she can slip through and I guarantee she would never know where to come back. Someone would find her on the road, realize she’s an adorable puppy, and change her name to something like Jezebel and we’d never see her again. Or who knows – there could be fox or wild turkey or rabid owl in the backyard just waiting to snatch her up for one heck of a dinner.

All I’m saying is hang out with your dogs when you let them outside. It’s good for you to get some sun. And what kind of an example are you setting for them if you make them go pee in the rain, but you won’t even stand out there and wait for them? Come on.

i don’t like being limited to 140 characters

I do love some Twitter, very much so in fact. And I get the point is to be brief about your twat (you call them that, right?), but I’m a wordy son of a gun most of the time. So, I think up these tweets and I start pounding them out on my phone only to realize it’s over 140 characters and I refuse to shorten things into stupid text talk. Here are some things I’ve started to tweet about, but just ran out of room.

  • June is much more difficult to train than Riley. Riley is still the best dog in the world and no dog will ever compare. June is close, but, like I told her last night, she’s cruisin’ for a brusin’. And before you call ASPCA, my dad used to say the same thing to me and there was never any bruisin’ involved. The threat worked. It’s not working with June.
  • I’ve recently installed a Google Chrome extension where I can limit myself to so many minutes on a particular website each day. I’ve given myself 30 minutes to use Facebook each day during work. I don’t normally take a lunch or smoke breaks, etc. so I don’t feel bad about scattering that throughout my day. Yesterday, I only used 10 minutes of it.
  • Insomnia. Holy crap, that has been kicking my butt for a couple of months. Last night, I got six hours of sleep and it was the best thing that’s happened in my entire life. The night before was three hours. Prior to that it was two hours. I have no idea what’s going on with that, but I have a doctor’s appointment Monday and they better have some answers.
  • Step-parenting blows. I think it’s mainly sharing The Kid that I hate. He’s 15, so he’s not usually interested in spending time with his parents anyway, but I like knowing that he’s always in the basement and we can at least say good night to him. I notice it more in the summer for some reason, and this summer has been the hardest so far to not just have him around every day. I know he’s having fun at his dad’s, where they’re beach bums at a local lake and he loves that. I just miss him!
  • We took the dogs to the vet a few weeks ago. With the exception of his legs first dive through the window a year or so ago to try to murder the mailman, he hadn’t been to a doctor since his old one left our clinic. He had to have the full round of vaccines, blood work, full comprehensive, all that good stuff. Turns out my 7 year old boy is in excellent health. He has two lumps that the doctor wants to do aspirations to and check for cancer. They also suggested a gingivectomy (which means they cut down his gums) since his gums are coming up over my teeth. FOR MY DOG. Now, don’t get me wrong. If he needs it, I’ll do it. But he’s eating just fine, so I’m holding off. I was just thrilled he was in excellent health. Boxers aren’t known for their health, especially as they get up between 8-10 years, so I’m a little nervous every time we go to the doctor. OR HE SLEEPS WITH HIS EYES OPEN, BECAUSE I THINK HE’S DEAD.