two dolla

thank you for the internet, dear 8 pounds 6 ounces new born infant jesus

For the first time in a long time, I did the majority of my Christmas shopping online. Let me take that back. I did online Christmas shopping for The General and my brother. And all Christmas shopping season long, we were riding a coupon high and it was good. BestOnlineCoupons.com kept us in the loop on free shipping and random coupon codes and last weekend, we finished our shopping spending less money than we’d intended by printing out a ton of coupons that had come in email.

The Kid and I came close to missing Shipping Deadlines for Christmas 2011, but I think we managed to sneak it in under the wire. A gift for The General from The Kid is set to be delivered on Saturday and conveniently, we’re opening presents on Sunday. Nothing like waiting until the last minute on a shipping delay, you know? That tends to be why I just have a ton of gifts shipped to my folks’ house, so I don’t have to worry about hoping to be home or missing the UPS guy when he happens to come during the 2 minutes I’m in the bathroom.

Overstock.com, Groupon (yes, someone’s getting a Groupon!), Amazon, Ebay: you’re welcome for all of my expendable income the past couple of weeks. Internet, thank you for the Kohl’, Michael’s, Joann’s, SR Harris and Best Buy Coupons.

if all else fails, there’s santa

I’ve asked everyone that asks for a Christmas list from me this year for a watch. That’s really just my parents and The General, but I’ve covered my bases, I think. My brother got me hooked on eBay watched a while back, where I can pretty much find any style I want for incredibly cheap. My biggest problem is when the battery dies, because I can’t ever remember to take it somewhere to get the battery swapped out. First world problems? Yeah, probably.

This year, I’ve got my eye set on various types of chronograph watches and that’s probably because I’m past my militant punk rock lesbian phase of 2009 and into my big pimpin’ phase of 2011-2012. I’m changing, don’t you know? It could also be the whole “ooh, shiny!” thing, too, that’s got me excited about getting something silver and/or chrome. I don’t think I’ll go quite to the extreme as my younger brother, who has a different watch to match each of his six billion pair of Puma sneakers with matching Puma track jackets. Don’t worry. I don’t know what’s thinking either.

So, back to me and those buying me gifts for Christmas this year: shiny watches are at the top of my list. Large and shiny, just like my personality.

the club can’t even handle them right now

In case you were curious, this here blog is the 2nd thing that comes up if you decide you want to Google this phrase:

how can i wright an old navy camurshal.

The first is Old Navy’s website.

99% of people in this world scare me. I need them to occupy a dictionary. Or at least spell check. I mean, c’mon. Google even asks if you want to search for it spelled correctly. How do people manage to brush their teeth without shoving the tube of Crest just directly in their mouth and poking their eye out with the toothbrush?

file this in things that make me giddy

Periodically, I do a little search to find out what’s going on with my Flickr photos, etc.  This morning, I found the following:

Lindsay Whalen’s Wikipedia page? Totally my picture. A horrible one, but it’s mine.

The picture of Target Center on the Lynx Wikipedia page? Also mine. Taken from my phone in 2010.

Sea Breeze (cocktail). That’s me. It’s been there for a long time, but it’s one of my favorites.

I’m mainly excited about the Lynx photos (naturally), but who doesn’t love a good picture of a vodka-based drink on a cruise ship first thing in the morning?

life could use more polls

I was browsing the internet the other day and ended up answering a poll someone had on their website. For the life of me, I don’t remember what site it was. But it made me long for the days of LiveJournal where I’d put polls up about everything. EVERY. THING. For instance, I’d totally post a poll right now to see who of my readers thinks I should go swimming this morning, except it’s too late. I’m already sitting around in my swim gear wondering where my goggles are and trying to decide if I should wait to go until after 9am, because that’s when aqua exercise is over. (I’m not sure I’m ready for aqua exercise!)

In any case, now that I’ve found an option where I can setup some way awesome online surveys, you guys might be in trouble. The free version only allows for 200 responses per month, so any results may be slightly jaded. But I’ll be more than happy to give it a whirl and while you’re sipping your morning coffee, you can answer this poll on swimming. And peeing. And don’t try to lie. It’s not like LiveJournal where everybody can see who voted for what answer!

my cereal bowls do not sing

The General is a little hippie dippie in her holistic healing ideas sometimes, but there are other times that she’s right on target. So while it may be a little intimidating for me to shove a burning candle in my ear, I still tend to listen when she tells me something’s going to make me feel better and it doesn’t involve shoving a pile of pills down my throat. In other words, this whole I’m pretty down with these ancient healing/stress reducing ideas that are all over the place. Even this whole tibetan singing bowls thing I’ve been reading about lately. If a certain type of tone coming from a certain type of bowl can help me re-center myself after a really crappy day at work, for instance, you can be sure I’ll be sitting in the middle of the floor with a bowl next to me trying to do just that!

spring training brilliance

There’s a ton of snow on the ground and it’s supposed to be -5 tomorrow night. I think it might be wrong that I’m ready for baseball season. But I am. Baseball season gets a little tricky for me, because it runs at the same time as WNBA season. I know that’s a problem for everyone, right?

In any case! The Twins are packing up to start spring training. Pitchers and catchers report in less than a month! And thanks to this fantastic article, I’ve been dying laughing at the projected packing items for some of the team.

Some examples:

Pat Neshek: An issue of Beckett Baseball Card Price Guide from August 1988. (It’s like vintage pornography for card collectors.)
Jim Thome: A three-gallon jug of maple syrup with weird stuff floating in it

And for the love of Pete, I really hope Joe Mauer is packing Colombian nose candy to take with him. That dude needs some scandal.

so maybe i’ll stop squinting all the time

As evident from my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, I need some new glasses. I visited the eye doctor in March of 2010. Chances are that prescription may very well be null and void, because I’m getting so old and you know how things go when you hit the ripe old age of 33*. I’ll very likely order glasses online, mainly because the variety is awesome, I don’t have to deal with annoying people that work in the eye clinics I’ve visited, and it’s incredibly cheap. I’m not sure what’s taken me so long just to go ahead and order glasses.

The thing is, I like having the ease and comfort of browsing through designer eyeglasses or rimless eyeglasses or eyeglasses that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. The bonus is that this website lets me upload a picture of myself and “try on” different frames. I look way fly in some transitional lenses, let me tell you.

A couple of visits back home ago, I had to go through this whole fashion show at my brother’s house that entailed him modeling all of his five billion different pair of eye glasses. He has ones he wears to art shows. I didn’t even know he went to art shows. He has a whole process about the he goes to get his eyeglasses, including making sure he has matching tennis shoes for each pair. Not kidding.

I’m excited to get new glasses and stray away from the standard black frames I’ve had for years! And check this out, you can save 10% on next time you order prescription glasses from GlassesUSA.com by entering the code Blog10.

*I’m kidding.

t-shirt nerd + blogger nerd = brain explosion

As soon as I saw this shirt, I knew that I had to have. See, the thing is, I rather enjoy SPORTS! and I also rather enjoy t-shirts. See how it’s a winning combination, much like Reese’s cups or Redheaded Sluts? Someone had sent around a link to it on Twitter and I forgot who it was. I wish I could remember, because I owe you a drink or something!

This morning, I was hanging up the t-shirt and noticed Matt Wilson’s name is actually on the inside of my shirt. While that may be creepy, it’s okay. He’s the designer of the shirt. And not the doucheturkey kind of designer like Ed Hardy, but just a local Minneapolis boy who has awesome ideas for t-shirts!

Anyway, I was on Threadless again this morning (shocker) and ended up doing some major nerding out. Matt Wilson (current blog/Tumblr here), as it turns out, used to have the most hilarious blog I ever read in my life back when it was mecawilson. Like had it been possible in any way, shape or form, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten a blog boner. I can’t even remember how long ago that was, but I feel like it was only yesterday.

To wrap up: my now favorite t-shirt was designed by my then favorite blogger and I didn’t even put all of those little facts together until this morning and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

this whole facebook family thing

I hate it.

I mean, it’s cool that I can list my parents and my brother and my cousins and aunts and uncles and all that crap, but let’s talk about other family members that are totally not included!

So, Mr. Mark Zuckerburg, since I know you read my blog daily if not hourly, I present to you the following ideas of which should be added on the popular social media site known as Book Face:

1. The Kid. He’s not technically mine. And sometimes I think he’d like to tell me that when I tell him that he has to stop watching Dr. Who on Instant Netflix, but he doesn’t. He has a dad and a mom, though, so I don’t really feel comfortable calling him my kid. Although I do most of the time. I get son, daughter, those kinds of things, but if you could add one that says: “As Close To My Kid As Possible Without Taking Part In Legal Adoption”, I think that’d be perfect for me.

2. My Brother’s Girlfriend. Let’s just hypothetically say that now that he has a super awesome girlfriend (that part’s not hypothetical) who I already consider family, he ends up marrying her. I would like to say she’s part of my family, but Facebook does not allow it. HOW DARE THEY. How am I suppose to let people know that I have a Sister-in-Law? Now, several years ago, I would not have claimed to having a sister-in-law should my brother gotten married, but times (and the person in the role) have changed and I need some Facebook formality for that. Think about that one, Zuckerburg.

3. WHAT ABOUT MY DOGS? Facebook needs to expand that. While Riley and Kentucky do have a fan page, I’d totally set each of them up with their own little Facebook profile if I could list them as my dog. Because, c’mon, just because I call them (and Marshall) my dog (and cat) sons, doesn’t mean I know for all of the internet to know that. And having them on Facebook isn’t NEARLY as obsessive as having them on Dogster… don’t Google that if you don’t want to get sucked into adorable dog pictures and adorable dog biographies.

Call me, Mark. We can talk more and you can hook me up with some commission of some sort. And we can also talk about why you keep putting Wedding Fair ads when I’m trying to Facebook-stalk people. Wedding Fair? Really? Even if I did dream of a pretty pretty princess wedding, you’d have to hogtie me and drag me to a damn Wedding Fair.