if you need a doula in the twin cities, this is the one you need

Before Amelia even got pregnant with this baby of ours, she was insistent that we would need a doula. I wasn’t really interested at first, because I felt like I would be able to take care of my wife, dammit, and I didn’t need any help at all! She also insisted on taking the recommended pre natal supplements by actual women, s she did, and thankfully that went pretty well.

Midway through the pregnancy, things got a little weird with the place we were planning on birthin’ this baby. Some red flags shot up based on the care we were receiving, so hiring a doula became more appealing to me. I tend to get defensive and protective of the people in my life and we decided that might not bode well if I wound up in fisticuffs with a doctor while my wife was in labor.

We interviewed two doulas before we knew we found the one for us. The first one was great and we didn’t have any concerns about her at all. She asked who the other doula was that we were interviewing and when we told her, she looked like someone had run over her puppy. I’m paraphrasing, but she said something like, “Yeah, you’ll go with her.” And she’s right. We did.

Meet our doula, Alissa Fountain or she’s here on Facebook if you’re more into that kind of thing. I would just hashtag her amazeballs and be done with it, but you need to know more.

When you meet Alissa, she’s this immediate calming presence. If you know me, you know I’m the exact opposite of that, but yet when I was in a room with her, I could feel that presence and that doesn’t happen often for me.

 

 

today, my son is three. very, very three.

Exactly three years ago today, I met my son and it was amazing. (Down to the minute even because I totally scheduled this blog post.)

He had dark curly black hair, not only on his head but all over his arms and back, too. He was fat. So fat. They couldn’t even find diapers in his size during our quick stint in the NICU because was so fat. Clothes in the newborn or 0-3 range were completely pointless in our house.

We stayed in the hospital for four days. I only left long enough to make sure my big white dog (pretty much my original baby) didn’t hate me and to bring my postpartum wife a cherry slush from Sonic. When I came back from the Sonic trip, I was about to lose my mind because he was having his hearing test in the hospital room without me present and I was certain they were shoving needles into his eardrums and I wasn’t there to supervise. (Sleep deprivation is real.)

I can’t even describe the last three years in words that would make sense to anyone at all. My unsolicited advice to new parents is that it is the hardest thing you’ll ever do and the best thing you’ll ever do, all at the same time. And no matter how you decide to parent, you will figure out what works for you, your family and your baby and, once that happens, that means you’re doing it right.┬áThis little dude has changed my life in a million different ways and I’m sure there are 12 billion more to come.

I always knew I’d be a mom at some point in my life. I wasn’t sure how because I sure as hell have ZERO Interest in feeling like I’m on an episode of Monsters Inside Me. I never questioned how it would happen because I just knew. And now, here I am – the mom of a stinkin’ THREE YEAR OLD.

He loves every single sport, even when I’m not sure how he knows how to play them. He’s a “championship go go player”. He likes playing football and will let you know that you need to “throw the ball like a rainbow”. He’s the “championship” anytime he’s running a race (against himself) or throwing something into any container. When he visits his great grandma, he turns the garage sale toys from 1985 (not an exaggeration) into either a hockey game or a baseball game. He only used his tee-ball set for about three months before his Nana taught him how to hit without it this summer. He’s not afraid to jump off of anything and will ask if you say his “big hops” in the event you didn’t see him jumping off a table two feet off the ground.

He’s left-handed for most things. He hates vegetables, except for egg rolls stuffed full of cabbage and rice noodles. He loves grapes and will bring the entire gigantic bag into the living room to eat if he thinks he can get away with it. He’s independent, which is so awesome to watch, and hella slow in doing those independent things, which is the opposite of awesome when we’re trying to get into the car and he’s hell bent on buckling his seat belt and can’t quite understand why I’m impatiently telling him to hurry as the sleet goes down the back of my shirt. He sleeps with a stuffed frog half his size that he has named Beasto, a Captain America action figure and stuffed version of Lightning McQueen.

He’s in daycare full-time and I love it. He loves it, too. He talks about the other kids every day and has a special kind of bromance with his daycare provider’s high school freshman son. Our kid calls him “Mashew” and gets all googly eyed when he talks about him. It’s adorable. He always says his best friend is Liam, which is working out nicely because Liam’s parents are our close friends and those dudes don’t have a choice as to whether or not they want to be friends or not.

I’ve learned to rail in my profanity, which has not been an easy task. I’ve learned to accept the fact that my personal space is his personal space, day or night. I’ve learned to slow down. Sure, it could take me five minutes to go get dog food at Target if I threw him in a cart and hightailed it in and out of there. Or, I could take half an hour to let him “walk by my own self”, which also includes walking down four aisles of toys because “I never seen all these toys before”.

I’ve learned that I hate unsolicited parenting advice when I post something on Facebook like, “man, I sure do hope my son will eat a carrot one day in his life” and I get one million pieces of advice that involve smoothies and hiding vegetables in his waffles and treating rickets with some multi-level marketing homeopathic oil. I. DON’T. CARE. How did our parents do it back before the internet, man?

Parenting has taught me so much about myself and I can’t think this child, who currently has a clothes hanger hanging from his living room basketball hoop, enough for all that he has done to teach me. It still remains the best thing and the hardest thing that I do every single day. I’m this title in my professional life or that person in my personal life, but nothing makes me prouder than to talk about this little guy any time I get the chance.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Ozzy. You’re the greatest. I can’t wait to see what this next year is like for you, my man. By the way I have some interesting news, I got one of the long term loans bad credit no guarantor for a new home that we are purchasing, this is big news for are, we can’t wait to move in.

2nd kid research – part 1

I clearly know everything there is to know about parenting already since I have a kid that’s going to turn three in November. I’ve only called poison control once, he’s never broken any bones and his swear word of choice is “what the Sam Hill”. Parent. Of. The Year. Mail my award anytime. This second one will be a breeze.

Totes kidding.

The last time we had to worry about a car seat fitting into a car was before Ozzy was born. We knew we’d be buying a second car before he was born. Logically, we would have bought the car and then picked out the car seat. But I love a good deal and there was a sale, some coupons, some gift cards and Cartwheel that led us the opposite direction. That meant we towed that damn seat to every car dealership we visited and it was a lot. After awkward test drives in several different cards, we ended up buying the first one we test drove anyway.

Now we have two cars which aren’t going anywhere for a while as long as Danger the Pontiac Vibe doesn’t fall apart in the next couple of years. And now we need an extra car seat. It doesn’t make a lot of sense for us to drive both cars to all the car seat stores and try them all out because that is the opposite of efficiency and I don’t have time in my life right now to be inefficient. And apparently both of these kids need to be appropriately restrained since it’s not the 80s where they can be bouncing around in the back of a full-size truck when they’re on a family vacation from Sedalia, Missouri, to Nashville, Tennessee.
Not speaking from experience at all…

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I was kind of stressing out about making sure we get the right second seat for both of our cars because I’m sure I’ll like this second baby as much as I do the first one. I finally remembered how much value I ended up finding about three years ago in the car seat safety checks on cars.com. My wife’s much more aware on the safety aspect of these things. (I should still be Parent of the Year, you guys. C’mon.) We also know we need to fit two seats in the back row because we don’t have a third row in either of our cars. It was super handy for us last time around and I’m already relieved that we can use it again this year. It’s not a perfect science, but it definitely helps us narrow down which kinds of seats we might need to get for this new kiddo.

I’m sharing because BABIES ARE HARD. I know you, esteemed reader, didn’t ask for my advice and that’s okay. You didn’t have to read this far. Plus, it’s not like I crawled up on your Facebook wall and offered my advice without you asking for it. Not that I’m speaking on personal experience from that one!