goodbye first trimester

We’re having another baby. I forget to post big things here anymore because it’s much easier to announce things in 140 characters or less. But since I’ve used this blog for pretty much every life altering event over the past 17+ years, I feel like I should elaborate for historical purposes.

Meet our new baby:


Well, there are a few differences now that I look at the picture:

  • We’re only having one.
  • It won’t come out with a helmet or a firearm.
  • And it probably won’t be green.

And really, even if this kid comes out green, I’m cool with that. The first bullet point has been confirmed a couple of times and we’ll be millionaires if the second one happens.

The process wasn’t nearly as easy for this early-2018 baby was it was for the soon-to-be big brother. I don’t know if we had unrealistic expectations this time or we’re just older, more mature (or geriatric according to my wife’s medical records…), or what, but it was tough to get to this point. Here’s how it worked with him:

  • February 10th, 2014: IUI procedure at our reproductive doctor’s office
  • February 25th, 2014: Multiple pregnancy tests were turning up positive.
  • Early March 2014: Couldn’t see his heartbeat, waited two weeks, finally saw his heartbeat.
  • November 2014: Ozzy was born and I didn’t blog about it. SORRY, SON.

This future baby worked like this:

  • Repeat Step 1 from above on in November 2016, December 2016, January 2017, March 2017 and May 2017. We had to skip February and April due to a couple of medical things that need to resolve themselves, and we only had one more shot that was covered by insurance.
  • May 18th: some positive pregnancy tests after a handful of negative ones in the span of about three days.
  • June 7th: Saw a heartbeat and a tiny ball of cells and graduated from the reproductive clinic a couple of weeks after that (which is a big deal in the TTC world).
  • July 6th: Saw an even better heartbeat, a wiggling little almost fetus and got the thumbs up that everything was looking pretty good.

And that’s where we are now. I really, really, really always have the best of intentions to write more about the process because I want to remember all of it… and then life gets in the way. A big part of life as it is right now includes a shaggy haired two year old with a farmer tan who really enjoys the phrase “WATCH THIS” and watching Moana and Cars on a rotation.

“how to pee: potty training for boys”, my personal review 

Caution: Parenting Talk about Pee and Poop to Follow

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I decided it that, at a 2.5 years old, it was time introduce this whole “bathroom” situation to OzMan. It’s not like he’s ever walked up to us and said, “Hey, mamas, I’d really like to try pooping in something that wasn’t my pants”, but what does he know? He’s 2. And a half.

Amelia went all out and bought him PJ Masks underpants, Thomas the Tank Engine Pull Ups, a book of 500 stickers, candy for the off chance that something might actually happen and a pack of construction vehicles for when things really start happening. She went to the library and checked out a couple of DVDs and books to get this whole family on board with this potty training business. Gung-ho, I’m telling you.

One of these books is called How to Pee: Potty Training for Boys. It looks like this:

It’s written by an M.D., so I’m sure there’s some sort of validity with that, right? I mean, it looks like peeing in the toilet can be SO FUN.

But here’s the thing, I don’t want my kid to learn how to pee in the toilet with these step-by-step instructions. I used to have to clean the men’s bathroom when I worked at Taco Bell and I know what it’s like to have to clean up after grown men that were probably pretending they were cowboys screaming “PEE-HAW YEE-HAW” after they’d eaten their Nacho BellGrande 12 minutes before the restaurant closed.

The book goes through a handful of examples of how little boys can use the bathroom like a cowboy or a movie star. The one that gave me the biggest gag factor was the section with four steps that involved the little boy carving out a riverbed down a hill with a stick and then peeing all the way down it. No, any son of mine. Just no.

There was a section called “Mommy Style”, which involved the little boy sitting on the toilet while wearing a pink floppy hat and being served toilet paper by a butler. I’m still trying to figure out why a butler doesn’t bring me my toilet paper and a tiny bit annoyed that now my kid thinks he’s “peeing like a mama” when he sits on the toilet. But, it’s cool. I parented my way out of that one.

The review of the 2.5 year old goes like this:

Me: Dude, do you like this book?
Oz: Um… potty.
Me: What’s your favorite page?
Oz: *Would rather watch a Property Brothers rerun than continue this conversation”

I’m kind of burnt out on Property Brothers, but they weird me out less than looking at the streams of pee coming from this little hand drawn boy pretending to be a super hero. The concept of it is adorable – the guy’s son liked to role play (?) and use all these different props when he pees, so he wrote a book about it. It sucks being an adult, because if I tried to take in a rope and some spurs to the bathroom at work, I’m pretty sure the book someone would write about me would not be found in your local library’s children’s section.

We got the book on Wednesday. We’ve read it a handful of times. He has not found it inspiring and would rather read Digger, Dozer, Dumper over and over instead. It’s on to the next awkwardly written and illustrated potty training book for us.

introducing Ozzy to the Harlem Globetrotters

Ozzy has been going to basketball games since he was seven months old. We always said we weren’t going to push any sports in him, but the Minnesota Lynx don’t count in that little rule of ours. As it turns out, he’s crazy about basketball, or GO GO as he calls it. Like legit crazy. He practices at home every night and plays with our awesome daycare provider’s 12 year old son anytime he gets a chance. With all that, we were pretty excited to take him to the Harlem Globetrotters game last weekend. 


He wasn’t so sure at first. 

There were the standard Globetrotters antics that are possibly the same ones they’ve been using for years, but still just as entertaining. That kind of thing was lost on this little 2.5 year old. But then the action started right after I got back from the souvenir stand. He doesn’t mess around once the ball is in play. 


He was most impressed with all the slam dunks. Who wouldn’t be? I have a feeling we might need to buy a backup hoop for when he slams the one we have into the ground that final time. I can’t wait to take him again when he’s older. 


For now, a couple of hours of basketball hijinx that happens right over naptime is pretty exhausting.