the evolution of my Halloween costumes 

I have never really been a huge Halloween fan. I can’t tell you why either. I just don’t care about it. I have, however, had a good run with costumes!

2015-2012: Halloween Scrooge. 

2011: Censored. No pictures were even published. It was that bad.

2010: Censored. It involved a blanket, a hat and strategically placed makeup.

2009: Jon Gosselin. I don’t remember why this happened. I just know I carried eight babies across my chest on a bandolier all night and Jenni dressed up as Octomom. We had the market controlled with tiny baby dolls and I bought an Ed Hardy shirt at the thrift store to complete my costume.

2008: Oddly missing from my online social media archive.

2007: Kevin Federline. I also brought Sean Preston Federeline with me and carried him in a Taco Bell bag. I was unemployed at the time so it made sense to go as K-Fed instead of Kanye West.

2006: Shockerman. I came up with this whole award-winning concept by myself, including the costume design that included a customized cape, Halloween teeth, swim cap, goggles and knee pads. If you can find the picture on the Internet on your own, you win.

2005 – 1992: I don’t even know what I was for Halloween. Or if I even remembered it was Halloween.

1991-birth: I don’t know for sure, but I can somewhat recall dressing as a rabbit with a creepy plastic mask, a witch, a rock star and a bum. There may have been a lion costume in there that was recycled from a third grade play.

I’m so good at Halloween ideas. My kid is so lucky.

What's up?