how we picked out the donor of our first attempt at babymaking

For the past few months, somewhat as a joke, anytime I see a guy that’s really, really good looking (so, like Derek Zoolander), I say to my wife, “hey, honey, how about him?” to which she either responds with an eye roll or… Nope, it’s always an eye roll. I can’t help it. She’s taught me to be much more frugal, so I’m just offering up some options, you know?

I don’t really consider myself superficial, but when it comes to choosing the donor that will pass down his traits to my future child, that all goes out the window. Since Amelia’s going to be doing all the biological stuff with this whole process, we know the baby will have a 50% shot at her having super cute dimples, curly hair and brown eyes or green eyes or whatever. (KIDDING.)

To satisfy curious minds, this is how we decided on the donor we ended up going with:

  1. Does he have confirmed pregnancies from previous donations? (Yes.)
  2. His nationality. (He’s Norwegian-German-Polish-English/Norwegian.)
  3. We wanted someone tall. (He’s 6’2″.)
  4. Favorite movie, car and animal. (Super Troopers, 1970 Chevelle SS, and cats.)
  5. Decent family medical background. (Absolutely nothing of concern.)

Other fun facts: He’s a Virgo with brown straight and brown eyes. He’s in IT. He loves his grandma. AND HE LIKES CATS.

And that’s pretty much it. I mean, yes, we looked at his baby pictures and we both were like “aww!”, but it’s not like baby pictures ever make you go, “Oh God, put that thing out of it’s misery!” They also provide you with a silhouette profile picture of all of the donors and our guy was having a bad hair day, but I saw past that.

The coolest thing (or maybe creepiest) is that they have a full audio interview between a nurse and the donor that’s available for download. We didn’t listen to the whole thing, but I did download it and add it to our Donor file for this guy, just in case he’s the one that kicks this thing off, because it might be nice for our kid to know that stuff.

mostexcellentHere’s the kicker of it all. In his audio, he says sometimes people tell him he looks like Keanu Reeves* and the office staff always writes a little blurb about each donor and they also said he reminds them of Keanu Reeves. So, that being said, if this thing works and it’s a boy, his name will be Keanu Berry Jr.

And for fun, here are The 12 Most Depressing Keanu Reeves Quotes.


*True story: when I was a tween (before they were called tweens), my friend Angie and I took Polaroid pictures of each other jumping off of milk crates and slamming dunk on a basketball hoop in her grandma’s driveway. The bottom of my Polaroid said Ted “Theodore” Logan and Angie’s said Bill S. Preston, Esquire.

Aaaand while I was writing this and watching Criminal Minds at the same time, Spencer Reid just starting talking about Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Whoa, fate. 

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