how we got to where we are right now with this baby thing

I alluded yesterday to wanting to keep some of this stuff private but a bunch of y’all are on my wife’s side, so fine. Plus I like you. Most of you.

Because we can’t have a baby on accident, we’ve had to go through quite a bit before we’ve gotten to this point. It hasn’t been quite as easy as one of us just falling on a penis somewhere and winding up knocked up. Would have been convenient and a heck of a lot easier, but it just ain’t that easy for a couple of queer ladies.

First, we had to talk about it. We were both pretty up front from the beginning of our relationship that additional kids was a strong possibility. It’s kind of important when you’re two ladies in your early 30s. Since we’re kind of responsible, we pumped the brakes a little bit back in 2011 when we initially started the process.

At that time, we didn’t have doubts about having another child together; we’re good on that. We were living in a house that was owned by someone who did makeup for strippers in Minneapolis and decided to up and move to California to try her hand at doing makeup there. Needless to say, we weren’t so sure we’d be sticking in that house too long. I was also working a job that made it the norm to work 60 hours a week and management frowned upon taking vacation, which explains why I lost out on six weeks of stored up vacation when I left there. And the same job just had horrendous health benefit costs that would have broken me in half. The kid was just starting high school and we wanted to make sure he got into his groove without an issue.

Before we slowed it down, we’d done the following, most of which was required:

  • gotten a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE)
  • met with this RE and talked about our options
  • both had bloodwork done to rule out any communicable infectious diseases
  • met with a reproductive psychologist to make sure we were fit for this kind of thing

And that’s when we slowed it down. Not because we totally flunked the psych test, smart asses. In fact, she was kind of blown away with how much we’d already discussed and had planned out. Sorry, we’re not dummies, you know?

That kind of brings us up to about four or five months ago. And that’s when things started happening like creating accounts at sperm banks, getting fertility medication and seeing the inside of my wife’s cervix with two other people in the room. (And no, she would not let me take the ultrasound picture of her innards to hang on my wall at work.)