brittney griner is a star and nothing else about her matters

All of this Brittney Griner hype is awesome. Griner can ball and she can ball hard. She didn’t fare so well in the NCAA tournament, but that’s probably because there were THREE people guarding her the entire time. Michael Jordan couldn’t even deal with that in the NBA, so he had people like Scottie Pippen, BJ Armstrong, Dennis Rodman, Toni Kukoc – international all-stars, you know? Odyssey Sims isn’t someone I’d want to play a game of one-on-one against, but you can’t expect a point guard to win a game. Ever.

Back before I even dribbled a basketball, Ann Meyers was at the top of the women’s basketball game. She couldn’t dunk. And she didn’t get suspended her freshman year of college for punching someone in the face (video!), but she could still play some ball. Im sure that there will be a lot of online sports betting sites that will be happy for his return. She actually signed a contract to play in the NBA. It wasn’t a flashy one and Mark Cuban wasn’t having diarrhea of the mouth when it happened, but it still happened. And it was really big deal. It still is!

But in 1980, nobody questioned whether or not Ann Meyers was a man. If you type Ann Meyers’ name into Google, the first thing it suggests isn’t “Ann Meyers man”.

Griner is 6’8” and has a wingspan of 88 inches – that’s 7 feet and 3 inches. She can dunk the ball and she can block anything, since she has a reach of 9’2”. And by God, social media and everyone that knows everything, she must be a dude. There’s no way a female could be naturally gifted in any realm of sports. It’s hogwash. And if she’s really a female, then she’s TOTALLY a lesbian, because there’s definitely no way a straight female would have a deep voice and be taller than most men.

C’mon.

Nobody says Mike Tyson is a lady because he has a higher-pitched voice. You wouldn’t dream of calling him a sissy to his face, because he’d break your nose. The Williams’ sisters are mannish when they’re playing tennis, probably because they dominate so hard. But when they’re not on the court and complete with professional hair and makeup, they suddenly become completely different people in the eyes of some people – like the subject of a wet dream. Megan Rapinoe of the US Soccer Team and an Olympic Gold Medalist came out as a lesbian in 2012, but it was all good because she’s blonde and curvy and only 5’7”, which is probably the societal norm for the height of a woman, right?

An Associate Professor at Washington State University – Pullman put together a hell of a piece on this obsession with female athletes embodying visceral fantasies of sex objects that just happen to be athletically inclined. Mechelle Voepel interviewed Griner about all this nonsense and the last line of her article, which happens to be a quote from one of Griner’s teammates, just lays it all out there:

“She loves being who she is. She’s just a big kid. She loves candy. She loves bacon. She loves sweets and soda. This is who she is. I honestly think she loves being in her own skin, and we need more people like that.”

So, a-holes, what do you think? Can you just go with that? This kid’s a champion, no matter what you think.

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