suggestions for the university of north dakota

Back story: Last year, the majority of North Dakota voted to have the University of North Dakota to stop using the Fighting Sioux as their mascot. There are a ton of court cases fighting all of the other racist and inappropriate professional and collegiate team names, too. Obviously the 99% of the North Dakota fans that are douches are all up in arms about it and refuse to let it go. It’s hard with cheers like “Let’s go, Sioux” and “Go, Sioux”… because, you know, those cheers are so darn hard to remember if you change one word out of it.

In any case, I’ve spent some time in North Dakota. Not a lot, but enough (four days and three nights) to where I would like to suggest some options for UND (not to be confused with Notre Dame, because c’mon…) to use as mascot ideas, based on my observations:

  • Rough Riders
  • Long Patches of Highway
  • Buttes
  • Buffalo
  • Country Kitchens
  • Space Aliens
  • Racists*
  • Turds
  • Metal Cover Bands
  • Portapotties
  • Cowboys
  • Rodeos
  • Large Belt Buckles
  • Dead Racoons
  • Dead Possums
  • O’Possums
  • 18-Wheelers
  • Seedy Roadside Motels

Should the University of North Dakota decide to use any of the above suggestions, I’ll only ask for a nominal fee.

*I’m generalizing and stereotyping. I know not everyone is a jerky racist. 



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