We were going to have a party to celebrate and then I was like hell no. I’m already feeding all these people one year from now and there’s no way I’m ponying up for another meal. (That’s not true. We both have some work projects and we’re going to the zoo tomorrow.)
I’ve never been the type of person that’s planned my wedding since I was a kid. I would have rather picked out names for my kids or drawn out plans to my dream house, which often included an indoor basketball court and fireman’s pole. Even as I got older, high school and into adulthood, a wedding wasn’t anything I was all gung-ho on, probably because I didn’t think it could ever happen, you know, with the gay and all.
Because my ladyfriendfiance is OCD (in a completely good way), we’ve already got the ball rolling on getting things ready. We’re determined to not break the bank, since we’re also saving up for this thing we’re missing to make a baby. (If you see any of that just lying around, let us know. Nope. Gross. Don’t.)
So far, we have spent $112.46. I’m only telling you this because it’s hilarious in the grand scheme of things. That includes invitations, all of the flowers for centerpieces and bouquets, the invitations, various required art supplies, and a $17 Groupon for $70 worth of stuff at Vistaprint that we haven’t used yet.
We have our location and we’re paying for that bad boy with money we’ve been earning on the side. (Don’t ask.) We have the caterer picked out that we want to use and she seems awesome. Scheduled to sit down with her in October. We’re not sure what we want to do about a photographer. On one hand, we have someone we really like. On the other hand, my ladyfriendfiance hates getting picture taken of herself, so it’d almost be like having someone take pictures for me all day. Which I’d be a fan of.
The guest list is a B*TCH. I want to invite everyone I know. I’m not a millionaire. This is a problem. Cutting it down has been uncomfortable, but we’re hoping the people that we don’t invite don’t take it as an insult. Our wedding location only holds ~100 people, so if any extra people want to bring lawn chairs and sit outside, maybe that would work. I just appreciate how much support we’ve received from some many people, especially in times when we’ve really needed it. I want you all to come!
We’re struggling, still, with the emotional side of things. Not knowing who from our family will make it and not knowing who from our family will even acknowledge the fact that this is an actual wedding are both things that tend to get us down. That fact that we’re committing ourselves to each other forever should be enough for someone to recognize that as an actual marriage. But if that’s not the case, I’m going to be sad and I’m going to cry about it. I’m going to wonder what I could have done differently. And then I’m going to say fuck it. I don’t need people in my life that can’t support me 100%. It’s too painful and I shouldn’t feel like I’m doing something wrong when around those people.²
Picking out wedding parties is hard, too! We have our officiant all picked out – who has the power invested in her by the state of Minnesota, so she’s legit, y’all – and have had even before we were engaged. We’ve also asked someone else to lead a prayer (because we gays can be Christians, too!) and read a couple of things that we have yet to pick out. And already the love that we’re feeling from Chele and Regina almost makes my heart explode. We’re so fortunate to have them in our lives as our family.
And dear everyone reading this: will you be my broomsdudes?¹
¹Broomsdudes: the ladies and/or fella that will be standing up with me during our wedding. Let’s face it. I’m not a bride and I’m clearly no groom. My friends are not maids. So there we go.
² Sorry for the whining. I’m still so thankful for our friends who are our family and our family who we also consider friends.