comcast tried to sell something to my husband last night

Our internet wasn’t working last night and when you live in a house full of internet geeks, that’s not really a good thing. We did the standard things we knew the Comcast person would already ask us to do – power cycle the modem, power cycle the router, remove the router from the situation, plug the computer right into the modem, blah, blah, blah. Then I called to find out what the h was going on.

(Note: I wish I could remember the person’s name that I talked to, mainly so I could just use it instead of saying Comcast Lady, because you know how much I like personalizing things.)

First off, they didn’t have our new address in the system, which is weird considering we’ve been there for 2+ months and haven’t had any trouble getting our service or our bills from them. Once we got that taken care of, we started troubleshooting our internet. No, I didn’t get an error message when I tried to connect, it just doesn’t connect. Finally, Comcast Lady decides to reboot the signal to our modem and of course that takes a while, which results in awkward conversation.

Comcast Lady: How are the rest of your Comcast services doing tonight?

Me: Just fine, thank you.

Comcast Lady: You know, if your husband is a sports fan, he can use your username and password to see over BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. (I couldn’t hear the rest of what she was saying because my brain was in the process of exploding and leaking slowly out of my ears.)

Me: Well, I actually don’t have a husband because I am a gay and I have a partner, so yeah.

Comcast Lady: Oh, I’m sorry, well, if your partner likes sports BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Anger Point #1) It’s 2012. There are so many things wrong with assuming a woman calling has a husband. Period.

Anger Point #2) It’s 2012. WOMEN LIKE SPORTS.

Comcast, you sons of bitches. I want to quit you so bad, but I can’t because I rent and I need my high speed internet. You have sucked me in like the corporate conglomerate you are, so you could at the very least have your customer service representatives go through a little bit of sensitivity training, you know?

A lady that love some sports, has no husband, and is a gay.