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i enjoy nachos.

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the best now 15 year old in the world

Fifteen years ago today, my Ladyfriendfiance had given birth to a fat little baby that would grow up 15 years later into this guy:

Just over four years ago, I met him for the first time and we were instant buds. Now, he’s Not My Kid and I’m Not His Mom. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

We started his birthday celebration this morning so he could open up a new silver paisley tie and wear it to school today. Being 15 requires much more class than 14 apparently does, because he was originally going to wear a suit. We brought it back down to business casual as opposed to business formal for a regular old Thursday in the 9th grade.

The rest of his family birthday celebration will happen on Saturday where he gets to pick where we go eat and get the rest of his birthday gifts.

Happy Birthday, buddy. You’re my most favorite ever.

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we’re a shake away from a new puppy

A couple of weeks ago, we decided we were ready to add another pet to our family and over the past two weeks, we’ve narrowed it down to two puppies: Dora and Lola.

Dora
We saw Dora first on Petfinder. (Here’s the link; don’t try and adopt her or else!) We actually saw her brother, Desi, first and fell in love with his adorable bat ears. My Ladyfriendfiance and I went to the adoption event that had Dora, Desi and all of their siblings and went crazy about the whole litter. But little Dora was the one that we couldn’t stop thinking about. She and her siblings were known as “Reese’s Pieces”, because their mom, Reese, was thrown out on the side of the road by her own shortly before she was due to give birth. (Way to go, responsible pet owners!!!!)

Dora’s part something and another part something. AND ALL ADORABLE. They think maybe some Brussels Griffon and some chihuahua and who knows what else. The dad is a mystery dog. You can see from her picture that she’s stinkin’ adorable.

We visited her again at her foster home. She’s the smallest of her little, but that didn’t stop her from anything. She would jump over all of her little runty-looking siblings to get our attention. And at one point, jumped right in my hand. She’s feisty and sweet all at once, which is exactly what we want. Every time I would put her down, she would fight her way over to get picked up again. And I couldn’t stop picking her up.  There’s another couple/family interested in her, so before a final determination can be made, we have to have one final interview and I’m seriously dying to find out when that might be, but I don’t want to seem like a crazy ass and make the rescue think I’m psycho for emailing every day to find out about it. Waiting is not my strength. At all.

Lola
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Lola was a scam set into place by Pet Project Rescue to get a chihuahua in my grubby little hands. She’s a 12 week old Chi that was surrendered by her owner, along with her brother, because their mom wasn’t vaccinated and contracted parvo which she passed along to Lola and her brother, Poncho. Their mom and another sibling died, put they made it through and are now just fine. Parvo is NASTY, so for a little bitty peanut of a dog to beat it, she’s a fighter.

On a whim, we setup a time to meet with Lola on Sunday when we got back from camping. You know, just to see if we liked her, because we probably wouldn’t at all. YEAH RIGHT. She was hilarious. She would boss her little brother around. Give us some love. Try to wrestle with our hands. She carried my keys across the yard and when I took those away, she went after my sunglasses. Her foster mom brought out a bag of treats and Lola wasn’t interested in the single ones we were doling out; she’d much rather grab the bag that was bigger than her and run. Obviously, we were sold. Our application was approved for Lola and we’ve had more house visits than I can count on my fingers and toes since we’ve been fostering for PPR for years. (Because c’mon, we sort of have the perfect situation to adopt a dog of any kind, you know??)

The Decision
And now we wait. I don’t know which one we’d go with if we get approved for Dora. There are pros and cons to each. They’re both so, so cute I can’t stand it. They’re both exactly what we’re looking for. We’re seriously hoping to get it all settled soon, because I really want to bring a puppy home this weekend!! (Actually, if it’s Dora we go with, we’d have to wait until next weekend, because she’s having her spay done next week.)

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memorial day camping 2012 (or: cage fighting raccoons)

(This was the must undocumented camping trip of all time. I forgot my camera! This also turned into the longest post ever with no real point. You’re welcome.)

We had a hot date with Jenni and Matt this weekend for camping at William O’Brien State Park (highly recommended! A++++++ would do business with again!), which ended up only being an hour from our house in holiday weekend traffic. We got  a new tent (this not so little guy, which was on sale and TOTALLY worth it’s weight in gold) and got it setup and a fire started. Suck it, forecast of rain and thunderstorms. We were camping anyway.

We got settled in. Chairs around the fire. Discovered the bathroom complete with showers and flushable toilets. Realized camping in the normal people area, as opposed to the giant group site was definitely a different experience. Throw some things in the fire that we would later eat. And talk. Suzi came by because she was camping in the same park and hung out for awhile and we talked some more. I don’t even know about what, but we talked for a long damn time. I can’t even tell you about what, but it was long overdue and way awesome.

I slept 12 hours. I’m blaming that on a muscle relaxer I took so my back would completely hate me for sleeping on an air mattress. I woke up and we went into Stillwater, because it had apparently been pouring down rain for the past few hours. We went to Smalley’s Caribbean Barbecue and I want to go back all the time. Mainly for the mac and cheese, but there wasn’t anything I didn’t love.

Ran to Target to get more dog food, as the bag we’d brought had mysteriously disappeared, and a pillow for Riley to sleep on so he wouldn’t hog the whole air mattress. Drove through the campgrounds and managed to watch Jenni and Matt sail off on their maiden voyage with their new kayaks. We now have major kayak envy. We went back to camp, kept the fire going, and read for awhile. It was exactly what I needed.

After Jenni and Matt got back from riding the rapids with Aziz Ansari, they joined us around the fire for more reading? I don’t even know what we did. We made plans to take awkward pictures of all of us posing in Suzi’s campsite since she’d retreated back to civilization for the day ride out the rain. Jenni and Matt had met friends on their kayaking adventure: Snappy (a snapping turtle) and Honky (a goose). We made fun of the gander of prepubescent kids that kept running/biking/screaming past our campsite. Their names were Brian, Sissy, and a whole bunch of other ones. I patched up a little kid that wrecked his bike next to our tent. (His bike came from a store that his mom works at and that store is called Wal-Mart, according to him.) We had more grilled foods. We had more great ideas. And then it got thundery and rainy, so I took Riley to bed to hide from the rain and ended up falling asleep. LEW-SER.

DEMON ANIMAL

We woke up in the morning and Jenni and Matt recounted the danger from the middle of the night. SEE ABOVE PICTURE. (I have a history with raccoons. I might save that for my non-existent novel.) I’m pretty sure this guy was the ring leader. He brought in his posse of his friends and they tore our campsite apart! They climbed into coolers, underneath plastic covering our table,  peeled some bananas, carried things off into the woods, cracked a Pringles can over their little raccoon knee.  Now you get where the raccoon cage fighting reference comes from. Bunch of a-holes.

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three days away from the air conditioner

My rule is always no air conditioning until after Memorial Day. Why? I grew up with one window unit air conditioner for a three bedroom house in Missouri. I laid in front of a three speed oscillating table fan my entire childhood when it was 100+ degrees and 99% humidity. SO SUCK IT UP AND SWEAT, FAMILY. ;)

I’m really glad summer is here. Or three days away from being here if you want to associate my air conditioner timetable with summer. That’s fair.

We’re going camping this weekend. That’s the plan as of right now. Today is supposed to be pretty spectacular weather-wise, but then from 9am Saturday until 4am Sunday morning, it gets up to a high percentage of a chance of thunderstorms.

Memorial Day four years ago was the first camping trip I took with my Ladyfriendfiance. And it was also the first time I’d ever been evacuated from a campsite due to impending tornadoes. After about four hours in a pole barn with every other person and pet that was camping at Brunet Island, we headed back to our campsite and declared ourselves survivors for the rest of the weekend.

This may have something to do with our plan of buying a new tent on the way out of town today.

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getting some ideas

I do love Danger the Vibe. He’s proven himself to be a trusty son of a gun, despite going through tires like nobody’s business. I’ve had the car for nearly 2.5 years and gone through maybe six tires. Two of those I put on intentionally, but the rest of them have either been blow outs or slow leaks that couldn’t be prepared or something that required me to actually hobble into a tire shop on my donut tire. Good news is I can take off a tire and put that tiny guy on in record time at this point: snow, heat, gimpy arm, I’ve done it all and done it well. Way to go, figuring stuff like that out on my own!

We’ve been discussing a few things/change in our lives that would become infinitely easier with a second car.  I’ve recently started digging the Scion cars. I didn’t like them when they first came out, mainly because they looked like super douchey boxes on wheels and the people driving them looked like they thought they were better than everyone else. (Yes, I can totally tell what people are like just by the type of car they drive. Duh.) But as they’ve been around longer, I’ve grown to think I might need one. I want something as good on gas, if not better, than Danger the Vibe, so I’m not sure if Scion FR-S is going to be the right option for us but I could absolutely see myself rolling up to clients in that little turbo-charged looking car.

Otherwise, my less logical option is a scooter. And while completely not at all logical, I still can’t get the idea out of my head that I need one. I could probably get a good nine months out of the year on it, right?

 

 

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follow up: comcast is still the worst company i give money to every month

Last week, I wrote about a ridiculously assuming conversation I had with a customer service rep at Comcast. It was meant as nothing more than just the typical: “Hey, Comcast, your customer service reps have crappy scripts” and/or “Please get with the times when training your CSRs” and it turned into much more than that.

I got linked on The Consumerist, which is published by Consumer Reports and has a tagline of “Shoppers bite back”. There are 105 comments on that post, a few of which I’d like to clear up:

  • I do not have a mustache.
  • I am not a bitch.
  • I do have better things to do.
  • I don’t shove my lifestyle in the faces of others.
  • This is my blog. You don’t have to read it.

Seriously. Some of those people are hardcore to the point where I feel quite sorry for them. I’d never been bashed on the internet before in such awesome proportions. It was really kind of awesome. (And not at all humbling if it was supposed to be, crazy commenting people.)

So, since it was linked to The Consumerist, Comcast got involved. I got an email right away from Mark in their National Customer Operations department who wanted my contact information. I gave it to him and someone named John called to talked to me about my experience with the customer service rep. The conversation went something like this:

John: We’ve figured out who it was that you talked to and her supervisor will be talking to her about it.

Me: What? Seriously?

John: Yeah, so we’re taking care of the issue.

Me: Is that it?

John: Yeah, sorry it happened.

And that was seriously it. Sorry what happened, John? Because that was a super weak attempt at making me feel like 1) you actually care, 2) you even know what was going and 3) it’s not going to happen to the very next person that calls in.

I emailed Mark to express my disappointment and he never responded. So, I emailed him again and still haven’t heard anything from him. And I guess that’s par for the course for Comcast.

Anti-climactic ending if I’ve ever heard one, right?

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comcast tried to sell something to my husband last night

Our internet wasn’t working last night and when you live in a house full of internet geeks, that’s not really a good thing. We did the standard things we knew the Comcast person would already ask us to do – power cycle the modem, power cycle the router, remove the router from the situation, plug the computer right into the modem, blah, blah, blah. Then I called to find out what the h was going on.

(Note: I wish I could remember the person’s name that I talked to, mainly so I could just use it instead of saying Comcast Lady, because you know how much I like personalizing things.)

First off, they didn’t have our new address in the system, which is weird considering we’ve been there for 2+ months and haven’t had any trouble getting our service or our bills from them. Once we got that taken care of, we started troubleshooting our internet. No, I didn’t get an error message when I tried to connect, it just doesn’t connect. Finally, Comcast Lady decides to reboot the signal to our modem and of course that takes a while, which results in awkward conversation.

Comcast Lady: How are the rest of your Comcast services doing tonight?

Me: Just fine, thank you.

Comcast Lady: You know, if your husband is a sports fan, he can use your username and password to see over BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. (I couldn’t hear the rest of what she was saying because my brain was in the process of exploding and leaking slowly out of my ears.)

Me: Well, I actually don’t have a husband because I am a gay and I have a partner, so yeah.

Comcast Lady: Oh, I’m sorry, well, if your partner likes sports BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Anger Point #1) It’s 2012. There are so many things wrong with assuming a woman calling has a husband. Period.

Anger Point #2) It’s 2012. WOMEN LIKE SPORTS.

Comcast, you sons of bitches. I want to quit you so bad, but I can’t because I rent and I need my high speed internet. You have sucked me in like the corporate conglomerate you are, so you could at the very least have your customer service representatives go through a little bit of sensitivity training, you know?

Sincerely,
A lady that love some sports, has no husband, and is a gay.

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in case i ever run for office

While I do have some interest in running for office, I’d need to find someone to do all the hard work for me, since working 60 hours a week at my current job doesn’t lend much time to doing anything other than crashing on the couch when I get home at night to watch whatever’s on TV and I better hope the remote is in reaching distance, because otherwise, I’m not going to change the channel.

Anyway. Running for office. That’s where I was. The reputationdefender. So dang HILARIOUS. I feel pretty good that I have never said anything on the internet, specifically this site right here, that I think might cause my reputation, as stellar as it is, to go down the drain, but if I did, it’s nice to know that something is in place to dig me out from a big ol’ giant pile of… well, you know.

I guess there was that one time I made fun of a former co-worker’s plastic surgery and she ended up seeing it, but C’MON, IT’S NOT LIKE IT WASN’T TRUE. I felt bad about that for maybe 10 seconds and then I thought it was hilarious because she was so mad about it. Hey, don’t get those things augmented if you don’t want the whole world to notice it, you know? You can’t go in for a nose job and come out with enlarged parts of your body and not think people aren’t going to talk behind your back, you silly woman.

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a rare post with details about the boy

The soon to be 15 year old that lives in our basement is kicking the holy hell out of school this quarter. He has an A average between all of his classes, which includes an A+ in a writing class, where his teacher says he’s got crazy mad writing skills.

He has THREE math classes this quarter. Average grade: A. Lowest grade on a test so far in any math class this quarter? B.

He has 100% in his science class. His science teacher has been telling us the entire year that he knows all of the material that she’s covering this year.

He’s turned in every single assignment so far this quarter, which is super awesome because it hasn’t involved constant battles at the dining room table like it did last year.

I don’t know what it is about this year or this school or this kid that may have accidentally been sent home to us over spring break that really isn’t ours, but he’s blowing the minds of the adults that he lives with.

I’m also going to owe him an XBOX360. I couldn’t be happier about dropping that kind of money on a video game console. I’m also not ashamed of bribery.

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our very sad kitten weekend

On Thursday, we met the director of Pet Project Rescue at our local animal control. There were three 3.5 week old kittens that had been found, without a mama  cat anywhere in sight, and needed to be taken in by someone who could bottle feed them every three to four hours. I talked my ladyfriendfiance into it, but it wasn’t too hard since she’s always a sucker for any abandoned animal that needs special help.

When we got there, it turns out there was another kitten from another abandoned litter that was a week or so younger than the three we were going to pick up that desperately needed to go with someone. What’s one more tiny little hungry mouth to feed, right? We took them home and gave them kitten gruel and formula to get some meat on their little bones.

The black baby kitten wasn’t doing to well when we first got him home, so the three gray ones took to their adoptive brother (or sister, we don’t know yet)  like I didn’t even realize would be possible. Here he was barely opening his eyes and just scooting around on his stomach, and the three larger kittens piled around him during naptime to keep him warm. And because of those guys, that little black kitten, who we named Chicken because of its alarming resemblance to a baby chicken, has been thriving since then.

Saturday afternoon, the biggest of the gray kittens, Kitten #2 Electric Boogaloo (Lou for short), was a little tired and not his usual bossy self. I didn’t think too much about it because they’re growing and crabby and sleepy a lot. Then later in the evening, I gave him his 7pm snack and he didn’t even want to move. I got all mama cat on him and washed him up with a wash cloth, got him all clean, and didn’t fight me much.

At this point, it’s a 3.5 week old kitten who was improperly weaned, probably wasn’t exactly born in ideal conditions, and knowing it was from a feral mama cat, who knows what kind of nutrition she was able to pass along. I fed the rest of the kittens and got them set for their next round of naps, but couldn’t stop checking on them every 15 minutes.

My ladyfriendfiance came home around 2am from what was supposed to be her very own night out doing absolutely nothing, because she couldn’t stop thinking about him either. I pulled him out of the giant kennel they’re staying in and handed him up to her. He wasn’t breathing, so she held him in her hand and swung him back and forth a few times. Then she seriously gave this kitten CPR. She blew into his tiny mouth and nose and all of a sudden Lou was back in the game.

We wrapped him up in towels, wiped down his face and and rubbed his chest to get his organs firing on all cylinders again. He ate some more formula and started to lift his head on his own. We alternated holding him wrapped up in a towel on a heating pad for another three hours before we couldn’t really stay awake anymore. He was getting back to his feisty self, even trying to swipe at me a couple of times.

We put him in the kennel on the heating pad. Chicken and the other two gray cats (Ace and Trey) just wrapped themselves around Lou. I had my hopes up way more than I should have.

My ladyfriendfiance and I finally went to bed around 5am and woke up again by 8:30am. We both avoided going into the spare bedroom; I think we both kind of knew what we were going to find. She checked the kennel first an all I heard was, “He’s gone, honey”. Lou didn’t quite have enough fight left in him.

This isn’t the first foster we’ve lost. Out of 35+ animals, he’s our second one. Considering most of these cats and dogs wouldn’t have made it one more day on the street, they’ve all proven to be little fighters. I think Lou just hit a little bit hard for me, because Marshall, our cat we adopted through Pet Project Rescue, was in his same shoes. Abandoned. Sickly. Didn’t stand a chance out in street.

RIP Little Lou. At least you got the coolest name we’ve ever given a foster animal and we gave you as much love as we possibly could in your little tiny life.