Squirrels hate the Golden Gophers!

And I think that’s total BS. I carved this pumpkin for Jenni and Matt, because I think Emily Post once wrote that a jack o’ lantern is the appropriate host/hostess gift for a Halloween party. And then this happened. The squirrels murdered it!

The General carved the state of Minnesota in a pumpkin, too. And yesterday, the squirrel (probably not the same one) chewed off the Duluth/Two Harbors area. So, my theory is as follows: squirrels from Wisconsin have infiltrated the Twin Cities. Watch out. Guard your pumpkins. Hide your wives.

Also, The Kid has an A- in Algebra. Last year, he had a grade that rhymes with Meff. To say we’re elated doesn’t even begin to touch how damn excited we are. It just goes to show you that a decent teacher and a school that’s not run by a moron can really make a difference with a kid, you know?

One Comment

  1. Chaely

    Since you’re such an etiquette master I was wondering about proper sex toy party etiquette. Somehow I’ve found myself invited to more than my fair share of them in recent years. I always feel obligated to buy the overpriced crap since the host gets other crap based on how much the guests order. Even the cheapest of the crap is about $10 and then you end up with some tube of something awful that you’ll reasonably never use & can’t re-gift. (I don’t know what age is too old for pink sticky watermelon goo in the bedroom, but I feel that there’s an age limit and I feel that I’ve passed it.) If I order nothing I look a prude asshole who doesn’t want to help her friends get their jollies?

    Basically what I’m asking is, how much booze do I have to bring the host if I refuse to buy any more of Pure Romance’s pure garbage & don’t want to seem awful?

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