December | 2010 | twodolla

Dec
30

donation request: fail

If there is a sure fire way to get me to not donate to your organization, it’s to tell me that Christopher Straub wants me to do it.

For those of you that don’t care (like I wish I could), he was on the 6th season of Project Runway. He’s from the Twin Cities, but by the Twin Cities, I mean he grew up in Edina (people say EDINA stands for Every Day I Need Attention) and now he lives in Shakopee. If it weren’t for Jodi, I’d call Shakopee something super lame, too.

He makes boxer shorts out of “vintage” t-shirts. You know who else has that concept? The people that make reusable diapers.

When he was on the show, I had to watch two of my co-workers imitate him every week because he cries like a four year old that finds out Santa Claus isn’t real and that it’s not some lady in a fairy costume putting money under your pillow when you lose your tooth. THAT’S YOUR MOM.

To make matters worse, I run into him occasionally. It happens when he’s like a gay icon in Minneapolis. He was the grand marshal of the Pride parade this year. I only know that because the douches that were driving him there almost ran over my feet in their mini van as they yelled at the police “CHRISTOPHER IS IN HERE!”. Gays, policemen don’t know who Christopher is. C’mon.

Also, Christopher, you’re white and not a gangster. Stop wearing your hat like this:

And why does your house look like something a 45 year old lady on the verge of hoarding would live in?

Dec
28

By Wendy

puppy, kitten, and me

Category: Photos Leave a Comment

Riley was there first, then I sat next to him, and then Marshall needed to join in the pile, too. The three of us were not impressed with the last 2 minutes of the Gophers/Badgers basketball game.

Dec
28

By Wendy

i’m never done shopping

Category: Internets Leave a Comment

Or at least looking at things to buy once I have a boatload of expendable income, so basically just as soon as my WNBA contract gets finalized. My agent’s having a bit of trouble with the details – like I don’t have to run and I need sugar-free Amp instead of Gatorade during timeouts.

So in the meantime, I’ve become a fan of several coupon sites, most recently? http://www.couponchief.com. They’re not all that different from any of the other sites out there that offer coupon codes to places all over the web. And trust me, anytime I’m ordering online I’ve looked at for sure 5 billion coupon sites, if not more. What can I say? Mama really, really likes a deal. (And also likes referring to herself as Mama.)

My favorite option for this particular site is the way they have things categorized. My personal favorite? The matchmaking coupons. Discount online dating? SCORE. Just kidding. My actual favorite category that I haven’t seen anywhere else are the Etsy coupons. I don’t ever need encouraged to buy something off Etsy, but if I can save 10% on shipping? Even better.

Dec
28

By Wendy

a wholesome christmas tale

Category: Family Leave a Comment

It’s post-Christmas lunch, post-unwrapping presents. I’m sleepy and I have to plan for an 8 hour drive the next day. However, I don’t want to give up time with my 6 year old pseudo-niece, since I only see her a few times a year. I’m trying to convince her to read me a book so I can fall asleep in her bed. She’s not having any of this, so she storms out of the bedroom and closes the door. I, assuming she’d be back shortly, covered the my head with the blankets.

There’s a possibility I dozed off for a couple of minutes. I heard the door open again, so I waited a while to plot my surprise attack on an unsuspecting 6 year old. When I decided to pull my head out of the blanket, I noticed it was certainly not a child that was in the room with me. It was someone that had just arrived to our Christmas soiree. And that someone was, in fact, my Sunday school teacher from my younger, more religious days.

I did what everyone else would do in an instance like that. I covered my head backup hoping she didn’t know I was in there and hid. She’s old. It’s likely she has dementia or would have convinced herself that she was just seeing things, right?

Dec
28

By Wendy

is it wrong to review your christmas gifts?

Category: Get Healthy Leave a Comment

In my bevy of Christmas loot, this is the item that I’ve used the most since being home for two days. The General has caught me eying one just like this at Target for approximately 2098 days. You can read more about my bitchin’ Smart Planet EC-10 Double Wall Plastic Cold Drink Cup With Reusable Straw at Amazon and I highly recommend getting one. For real.

I’m always in desperate need of something to encourage me to drink water during the day. Water bottles last for a few days until I forget to empty it out and then the water goes stale and smells like someone bathed in it. And then if I try to use a cup, the water gets too warm because I don’t use ice because it hurts my teeth when it cracks up against it. High maintenance water drinker? That is totally me and I’m not afraid to admit it.

Now I have this little bad boy that holds 16 ounces of water. It keeps water cold and I don’t have to worry about the outside of the cup getting all sweaty and dripping cup sweat onto the stack of papers I have on my desk that I need to go through. The lid screws on instead of snaps on, so it’s harder to spill all over myself (and my desk) and it comes with a reusable straw. I’m not sure how sanitary that straw is going to be, but I’ll live with that.

Extra bonus: The material that the cup is made from also doesn’t have BPA in it at all. BPA is some bad shit, y’all.

Extra extra bonus: I’ve already drank 32 ounces of water and it’s only 10am. The multiple trips to the bathroom may be bad on my productivity, but it’s sure as heck going to stop my obsessive habits of digging up 60 cents to get pops out of the pop machine all day long.

Dec
27

By Wendy

mind: blown

Category: Videos Leave a Comment

(Credit to Dez on Twitter!)

This video blows my mind. And it’s not just because the guy wearing the Superman costume is that creepy.

Dec
27

By Wendy

ode to 2010

Category: Me Leave a Comment

Thanks to Chele and Jenni, I don’t think a year could be complete without finishing this meme.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Adopted a kitten.
Changed my oil. (With the supervision of my brother.)
Made snow ice cream.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t make any last year! I have a whole list of 101 things to do in less than 1001 days, so I’m gonna be using that one as my resolution for the next two years.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Bill and Katie had Abby. Cindi and Adam got a new puppy named Abby, so that counts in my book. My cousin’s cousin birthed baby Brooks, who I met this past weekend and am working on a plan to kidnap his handsome little babyself. And my friend Beth had her 5th baby, Max, this summer and I still haven’t seen him. Dang.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Luckily, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

USA. USA. USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

More vacations that don’t involve Missouri. Sorry, family, but mama needs some quality ocean time pretty bad. Maybe some more money, too. I’m always a fan of that.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Our family trip to Chicago was one of my favorite vacation experiences ever. I can’t imagine forgetting that ever.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Man, I was full of achievements. Most of them personal, but achieving all in the same!

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don’t fail. I just learn how to improve things.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nah.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Danger the Vibe.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My 3 Day homies near and far and the volunteers of Pet Project Rescue.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Haters of all kinds. The public school system.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. Still dog food, just like last year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

NBA JAM FOR THE WII… which should be delivered sometime this week.
Moving into our house.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Ones that contain lyrics like: “The square root of 69 is 8 somthing, right??” and “Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6. Like a G6, Like a G6. Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, although not by much.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Camping, traveling, saving, taking pictures.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying. I just have to tell myself that everything will always turn out all right.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Spent it in Missouri with my entire family. One of the better Christmases I can remember in years.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

With Monday Night RAW.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Got hooked on Criminal Minds in a bad, bad way. And Monday Night RAW.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Not at all worth the time, man.

24. What was the best book you read?

I wish I could remember. I red more books than I’ve read in a long time in 2010! I just haven’t read any in the last couple of months.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2010?

The Current. Seriously. I know that answer is so 8 years ago.

26. What did you want and get?

A house with a backyard!

27. What did you want and not get?

ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (Totally copying Jenni’s answer!)

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Babies. We went to go see it at the Riverview Theater and it was such a fantastic movie. Also, babies.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32! I had happy hour drinks with Amelia, Jenni and Matt, and then hung out with a ton more friends and bowling league that night.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More sleep, but I wouldn’t have wanted to sacrifice any of the the other things I did for that sleep.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

T-shirts, thermals, jeans and cargo shorts, baby. Or grown up lady business pants during the work day, but that’s just so boring.

32. What kept you sane?

Friends, family, pets. Same answer every year, but I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

John Cena. The Miz. Courtney Jensen, the beatboxing Mormon, from The Sing Off.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Education, healthcare, DADT. A lot of it bugged me this year.

35. Who did you miss?

My grandma. Friends I didn’t get a chance to hang out with in person.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

People from The 3 Day and from PPR.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:

Living well is the best revenge. It’s a quote I found somewhere sometime in the last year and absolutely love it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Every year, baby, it goes like this: No one will ever be, like me.

Dec
27

By Wendy

i love cranky commenters

Category: Internets 2 Comments

I often get comments on older posts that don’t make their way through my spam folder. They tend to be even more entertaining than the time sensitive comments I get.

Most recently, someone must have stumbled across this post, which includes me professing my hatred towards a certain cashier at a certain retail location. In short, I was complaining about the way the cashier treated someone and with good reason. Within the post, I mentioned that I had dropped Riley off for some vaccinations and was out shopping while that was taking place.

Here’s the comment from the person called Notinthemood: “It’s a great store! I LOVE it! Not to forget mentioning… What kind of mother leaves her son alone at the doctor to go shopping. I believe the word I’m looking for is misfit?”

Dear Cranky Commenter,

Riley is not a child. Riley is a dog.

XOXO,
Wendy

Dec
26

By Wendy

home from the holidays

Category: Family Leave a Comment

After driving through four hours of fog along I-35 and drinking four Red Bulls since noon today, we’re home safe and sound. Surprisingly, I’m not at all tired. I can’t imagine why.

We spent the last few days in Sedalia with my family. As time goes on, I can’t help but be so proud of where I come from. Not necessarily the Sedalia part of it all, but the people that have known me since the day I was born? I feel so fortunate to call them my family.

And now that things have calmed down in my neck of the woods for the next several months, I’m devoting myself to more writing and more picture taking and more playing NBA Jam for the Wii, because The General ordered for me on Christmas night when she realized nobody else had gotten it for me.

My life, it is all right.

Dec
19

By Wendy

#Reverb10 – Day 8 – Beautifully different

Category: Reverb10 1 Comment

Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

C’mon, now, really? I already know that being me makes me beautiful. I feel like maybe some of these questions may have been written for some emo kids that hate their life or some mommybloggers (hell yes I’m going there!) that provide minute by minute status reports about their toddler’s bladder control and how they haven’t been out of the house in 17 days and have been wearing the same pair of sweatpants the whole time.

(Go ahead and bookmark this post for a couple years down the road when I’m telling you that little Junior tinkled in the big boy potty…)