This past weekend at Pride, which I still have pictures to post of, I was lured into a shade structure by someone who asked if I wanted a chiropractic evaluation. Since my back is something like train wreck, I figured it wouldn’t hurt. This chiropractor spent about 5 minutes with me and she blew my mind. Chiropractors tend to do that, but she had pinpointed where my back hurt by testing the muscle strength in my quads. You probably learn that in back fixin’ school, but seein’ as I’ve never been to back fixin’ school… you get the picture.
For a mere $30 donation to OutFront Minnesota, I could schedule a time to come in and have the good doctor give me the once over and tell me how she could help me fix my back. OutFront is an awesome organization, so I ponied up the cash without hesitation and scheduled an appointment for today. And after my appointment, my mind was seriously blown.
See, this crazy witch doctor chiropractor (and I mean that in a good way, because I’m going back next week!) had all of these bottles of supplements and oils and probably snake venom for all I know. I’m laying on my back and she’s putting vials on my chest one at a time, checking to see if the strength in my right arm increases with each vial. I have no idea what she’s looking for, but I’m playing along. I’m pushing my arm as hard as I humanly can while she’s pushing in the other direction. This doctor is short, but she’s strong. She probably benches.
And then by some magical force of whatever secret liquid was in one of her bottles, it felt completely different. I don’t know what happened. I could push against her grip like I was The Macho Man Randy Savage or something. The General saw it. I felt it. I wasn’t just bamboozled by her witchdoctory stuff. That stuff really worked… whatever it was.
So I’m going back next week and we’re going to start some of the back crackin’ and all that good stuff. She’s covered under my craptastic insurance plan, so I feel pretty lucky about that. I’m overly excited to see how well this secret potion type stuff she has works, too.
Also, it was my first gay doctor and I’m now in love with gay doctors. That’s all I want. There was no coming out. There was no explaining why another lady was in the waiting room with me, nothing. It was way nice and way comfortable.