two dolla

oh the places i’ve lived

The General and I have talked a lot about when/where we want to move. We love Northeast Minneapolis a lot. Truthfully, we love our duplex a lot. We just know that we’d prefer something on the first floor and something with a shower (because ours only has a bathtub). In-unit laundry is also on our list of demands for our next humble abode.

I’ve lived in Minneapolis for just over 8 years. In those eight years, I’ve lived in seven places. I’d say I’m fickle, but I don’t think it’s me. Let’s examine, shall we?

1. St. Paul. I was moving from Sedalia to Minnesota. While I’d visited plenty of times before, I’d never taken the time to look at any rental property, so I left it completely up to someone else who ended up finding a house for rent and signed a lease. Because it was pink. Months later, someone broken in and stole my Nintendo 64 and my chocolate chip Eggo waffles. Not a joke.
2. Eden Prairie. Super nice apartment. Super nice location to the two jobs I was working at the time, but holy large-SUV driving, soccer mom filled, pretentious snob filled suburb. Absolutely not me.
3. Roseville. We lived in a four bedroom, ranch-style house with five people, one of which owned the house. The owner was on house arrest much of the time I lived there and couldn’t mow the whole backyard, because he got too far from the house and his ankle bracelet did weird things. And his girlfriend stole a bottle of vodka from my bedroom.
4. Burnsville. Nice setup, but I fell in love with this dog named Riley and needed my own place. Plus, I’d fallen in love with Minneapolis and Burnsville to Minneapolis was a heck of a drive.
5. Eagan. Decent apartment, decent rent, decent location. But again, it was kinda far from Minneapolis. And the new management company was turning into a pile of turds that let children skateboard in the halls. Not cool.
6. Minneapolis #1. Loved the apartment. Got tired of Uptown. The General came with a 12 year old and I only had one bedroom.

I’d consider buying a house somewhere, but then I wouldn’t have all these awesome stories about roommates and neighbors and slumlandlords!

the amazing race: it never changes

Tonight I decided that The General and I should catch up on The Amazing Race since we haven’t watched it yet and the episodes are dating back to early February. Within the first 15 minutes I was already angry at the show.

Now as many times as I’ve watched a season or even just an episode, there have been an abundance of things that have not changed and will not change. Oh, and I shall gladly list them for you.

1) You will inevitably be going to a country where English is not the primary language and likely not even spoken. Do yourself a favor and learn some basic vocabulary. Taxi, bus, airport, which way – these are things that will benefit you. I promise.

2) Sometimes in these magical far off countries, cultures will be different. If a cab driver doesn’t understand you when you are talking very loudly in broken English, yet you get pissed off and throw a little American temper tantrum, you’re making yourself look like a gian douchbag. Congratulations.

3) One of the two of you should either know how to do or learn how to do one of the following: drive a stick shift, know the cardinal directions, easily read a map, not be scared of large animals, and someone better damn sure be able to calm the other one down when he/she completely flips the you-know-what out.

I guarantee that if you decide to try out for this show and keep the above points in mind, you might possibly win. If nothing else, you won’t end up looking like a giant ass on national TV.

And you’re welcome.

ergo baby carrier

Yesterday, our latest foster puppies came to visit. They’re poodle/terrier mixes and they weigh maybe two pounds each. They’re tiny and they’re both ridiculously and painfully cute. We’re supposed to take pictures of them, but no matter how many pictures we take, you just can’t see their gigantic cuteness factor. Yesterday was the first time they’d been separated from their mom, so they’ve been crying. A lot. And shaking like crazy. It’s very, very sad.

The General has a baby sling a company gave up as a sample for new moms that might use The General as a doula. It’s very similar to the Ergo Baby Carrier. And while we don’t have a baby to fill the sling with, I was about two seconds away from shoving Jake and Casey (yes, those are the puppies names!) into the sling and carrying about my dad.

We’re heading to Adoption Day shortly, where the puppies will be reunited with their mom. That should either be really nice for them or turn them into super hot messes tonight.