personalized license plate fiasco

“I want to tell people who I am and what I am. I’m proud of it. I’m openly gay. I’m not hiding,” said Keith Kimmel, 28, of Norman. “What better way to tell everybody than to put it on the back of a car?”

This kid wanted his license plates to read IM GAY. While I probably wouldn’t want that on my car, just to save it from being vandalized in some degree by crazies, this kid does, but Oklahoma’s not having it, because it might be offensive to some.

For years when I lived in Missouri, I had personalized license plates that read 2DOLLA. I knew what it meant, but one day when I was driving to St. Louis, someone passed me on the freeway waving two one dollar bills and making signs with his hands and mouth that are way too dirty for me to share.

I’ve seen personalized plates here that I can’t even figure out. And trust me, guys, I’m good at that. Remember that show Bumper Stumpers? I was un-frickin’-stoppable. For all I know, they’re making reference about the dirty things they want to do with roadkill. But you know what? I don’t care. It’s just like I don’t care about morons that have stickers with Calvin pissing on every symbol under the sun plastered to the back windshield of their pickup truck.

If the government would stop trying to control absolutely everything in the world during every minute of our life, I can almost guarantee you that we’d all be in a much happier place. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m rational. Otherwise, just to piss off the government, I’d be going out and marrying a duck and getting personalized plates that say DUCKFUCKER. Oh wait. Is that too many characters?

Posted via web from twodolla’s posterous.

One Comment

  1. This is awesome.

    One day I was sitting in traffic about a half hour from home and I noticed a car in the next lane, slightly ahead of me that was an orange Sunfire with a personalized plate that said “IMALEZ” IM A LEZ. Holyshit. There were some other various stickers on it that made it sort of additionally eye-catching but I can’t remember what they said. I prayed that traffic would work out in such a way that I’d get to see who was inside the car.

    My prayers were answered when I finally got up next to her, except that when I looked over to see who it was I realized that she’s the security manager for the company I hire for some of the events I produce. Her hair is bright orange and curly – there’s no mistaking her for someone else. Now I’m fricking stuck directly next to her with nowhere to go, I’m laughing hysterically because of the ridiculosity of the car + plate + driver, and now I’m just praying that she’s really focused on the road or something so she won’t look over and see me, seeing her.

    It’s not that it wasn’t completely obvious that she was a lesbian before this, it was just so bizarre seeing her with what amounted to a neon sign floating over her car proclaiming her sexuality.

    I never knew I could get down so low under my steering wheel, but it really pays to be the size of a housecat sometimes. I don’t think she noticed me in the car that day but our next meeting was very awkward anyway.

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