two dolla

inspired by james lipton

I know this was some kind of hot-to-trot meme a while back, but I don’t think I ever did it. We were talking about James Lipton at work today and it reminded me of this. So I did it.

• What is your favorite word? Awesome. Riley. Fuck.
• What is your least favorite word? Can’t.
• What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Success, winning. Nature. Helping in some capacity.
• What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Negativity. Ignorance.
• What sound or noise do you love? Heavy bass. Laughing.
• What sound or noise do you hate? Talk radio.
• What is your favorite curse word? Bitches. Motherfucker.
• What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? WNBA coach (and player, of course!). Talent agent.
• What profession would you not like to do? Social worker.
• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Boo yah, bitches!

links for 2009-08-04

• No smoking in the Metrodome. – (via Branizer)
  Oh, Joe.

  I've always said I'd gladly volunteer to be Joe Mauer's Stretching Coach. But this looks like it might be getting ready to be taken a bit too far.

• 4 scorned Wis. women charged with tying up lover
  Any article with "glued his penis to his stomach" is worth sharing.

links for 2009-08-03

• 5 a day to keep the clutter away
  The fun starts now. Sorry in advance to our garbage men or the people that have to go through our crap at the thrift store.

i’m gonna need a big box

Jenni brought a contest/challenge type thing to my attention last week and I couldn’t really say no to it: 5 A Day to Keep the Clutter Away. Here are the guidelines straight from the website:

• Find 5 things a day that you can get rid of. Size doesn’t matter. It could be a spoonrest or an entire wardrobe.
• Put them in a box/bag/bin in an out of the way area (your garage, laundry room, a closet)
• At the end of each week or the month depending on your storage space, trash, give away or donate all the items
• If you find something that indeed is sale-worthy you have the month to sell it. If by the end of August it’s still in your box, it goes, and you get a nice tax write-off.

Five things a day is a lot, considering I do’nt throw anything away ever. Just ask my friends who’ve had to help me move multiple times in the past five years. And, really, I didn’t need the seven shirts, two pair of shoes, and small black fan that found its way out the door today.

In other breaking news, some Mormon dude is harassing me on Twitter because I made a comment via Twitter yesterday about carrying a Book of Mormon in my back pocket as a defense for the two Mormon boys that were riding up and down the street, following little old ladies that were just trying to take a walk. The dude’s just lucky I didn’t try throwing the Book of Mormon at the kids as they rode past my car window. That was The General’s idea. Not mine.

facebook still makes me laugh

Not because I’m addicted to shit like Mafia Wars and some damn game called Happy Farm that The General got me hooked on, but because of the people that I’ve added as my “friends”.

Recent additions include:

• My high school principal. Haven’t seen the dude in 12 years, but he requested to add me. How could I say no?
• A dude I used to work with at my work that had breath that smelled about the same as a dead corpse and cigarettes.
• My 7th grade boyfriend, who I used to sit next to on the bus and every time he would kiss me on the cheek, I’d put a tally mark on my notebook. SO NOT KIDDING.
• My 4th and 5th grade music teacher, who oddly enough remembered me without a second’s doubt.
• My aunt (and I’m still in awe that she figured out how to text me the other day…)
• My youth minister from 7th grade.

And you know what I like the most about it? I seriously love snooping into the lives of other people that perhaps I didn’t really like back in the day or I just wanted to see if the trainwreck continued. And you know what? In most cases it has.

Man, I love the internet.