Holiday frames for everyone.

I’ve had my glasses for a couple of years now and I keep thinking I should get new ones. The biggest thing, aside from the money it’ll cost for new frames and lenses, is that stupid little test where they blast air right into your eyeball. Can we not figure out a more humane and tolerable way to do that? I always start blinking like I have Tourette’s and I have to blink 732 times and recite the Pledge of Allegiance before I can carry on with my life. All that blinking just results in them having to do it over. And over. And it’s still not pleasant.

My little black frames are perfect for me, at least my own opinion. But you know what could absolutely top these frames? Holiday frames. Oh, I said it. More specifically? Ones with poinsettias on the side:

Red is my favorite color and that’s really not a surprise to anyone. My car is red. My dog always has to have a red collar and leash. It may be slightly obsessive, but it’s not like it’s crack cocaine or something. Although, if they made that in red, I’d be more tempted.

Anyway, if it weren’t for Sally Jesse Raphael ruining it for every that’s ever had this same dream, I’d totally have myself a pair of red frames. I get that anything red or green can be considered holiday-ish this time of year, so I guess I’d just fit right in. I may take an extra step and turn my current black rim glasses into my own very special holiday frames by attaching some Christmas ornaments or little figurines of baby Jesus in a manger.

Man, I love the holidays.

What's up?