twodolla

i enjoy nachos.

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best super hero ever

In our house, we don’t have fancy video games or a gigantic box of awesome toys for an 11 year old to play with, so sometimes The Boy has to get creative. And that’s what happened tonight (I just want to reiterate that while Wednesdays are usually Single Parent Night for me, The General was totally home during all of this):

Body Art
He was trying to make it talk, but the idea of making it into a video didn’t strike me until right this very second and he’s already too close to falling asleep to get him wound up again.

And then the next thing I know? This popped up.
Body Art 2
His previous belly tattoo has been morphed into a character named Chef Pierre Smiles.

And, yes. He’s wearing a cape, except I can’t explain why. I just know I got home from work and he was wearing it.

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wet camera dreams

Ever since The General got a new camera, I’ve had a little camera envy. I’ll probably just wind up upgrading to the next level of Canon PowerShot, like I have now, but I can also dream. Of course, I’m highly obsessed with winding up with a new SLR… it might be hard to transport it to the dog park or sneak into a concert without getting hassled, but I think I’d still manage to have an alright time with it.

Yes, yes. I’m Canon-loyal, but I could be swayed for a Nikon if the price and features were right. And I’d be all for gearing up with the pros if I fell into some Free ATB Pro Gear, just so I can be decorating my humble abode with tons of fantastic pictures of our dogs and our boy and, you know, pictures of my friends while they’re drunk at the bar.

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our forray into gangland

My lease runs out January 30th. This one bedroom thing with two adults, a pre-teen, boy and two large dogs (or just Riley and I, if you’re my landlord and reading this) is working out, but two bedrooms would work out so much better.

It’s pretty early on and I haven’t even given my notice yet, so I’m sure we’re not seeing all of the options that’ll be available. We’ve found one place that we’re in love with and would procreate with, but we’re thinking we might make too much money. There’s always sticking with my current management company, which is all well and good… we’d just have to move to another building about five blocks over, and if we’re staying with this company, I’d rather live in the apartment that’s on the ground floor in this building, but right now it’s full of approximately 9 people. (Sorry for that run on.)

The General found Potential New Place #1 on CraigsList. I found my current place on Craig’s Fantastic List of Awesome, so I figured it’d be worth a looksee. The guy was awesome enough to give us the address, so we could do a little driveby. I wasn’t entirely sold on the neighborhood, but it was less than two miles from my work, so that was making up for the bushes that had grown up all over the lot the house was on. It would have been the lower level of a duplex, and even though some teenage boy came bounding out of the house, I was still willing to consider it. (Teenage boys are loud. I know. We have an almost-one part-time.)

Then, we drove down the alley. The garage directly behind Potential New Place #1 had been tagged with some blue spray paint. Graffiti? No big shake. I’m down with artistic expression… except when it says CRIPS. Riley wears a red collar and I like my red car, and sometimes, I have red shirts I like to wear, and red Converses that are close to my favorite. Potential New Place #1? Off the list.

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even thought i’m scared of them

After moving Matt and Jenni this past weekend and realizing how awesome their backyard is going to be for a whole bevy of things, I realized having a yard might just be a-okay. All the corners to put lawn chairs and fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon and all of the trees to hang birdfeeders from… it made me a little misty eyed. And really, it was just because I want a hummingbird feeder like this one:

When I was a kid, my grandparents used to have one of these hanging on their porch from their “lake house”. My grandpa, if he was finished banging around in his workshop (shed) all day, would put on a red-hooded sweatshirt and stand with his nose about 2 inches away from the feeder. He’d wait… and wait… and wait. Until finally a tiny little hummingbird would come up and get a drink of the sugar water my grandma had made, and then fly within centimeters of my grandpa’s eyes. I always wanted to try it, but I never had the patience he did.

And while I’m entirely scared of larger birds that have beaks big enough to poke my cute little blue eyes out, I’m totally down with supplying sweetened water to tiny little hummingbirds that don’t really ever stop moving long enough to jab my pupils out with their tiny beaks.

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csi: uptown minneapolis

We were in bed last night, close to midnight, trying to fall asleep. I was just about to doze completely off, when we heard these blood curdling screams coming from the house next to us. It wasn’t like a “Oh, help, you’re tickling me and I want you to stop”; it was a “OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME?” type of screen. So, we called 911.

The cops came, complete with 3 squad cars, and eventually arrested someone that appeared to have been fleeing the scene. Before you get too worried, it wasn’t some random murderer. It was a man, and we’re not really sure what his connection is becuase we’d never seen him there before. There’s a lady that lives there, and the three dogs that bark all the damn time, which have resulted in two calls to the police. And there’s a somewhat nice guy that’s usually there anytime there are little kids there. So, really, we’re not sure of the connection. We just know their dogs’ names. We’re those kinds of neighbors.

Anyway, two of the police cars roll away and the one that’s left has Trashy McGee in the back of the car. I’m peering out the window, because my last name is Berry, and that’s just what we do in my family. The two leftover cops were talking to Trashy, and I could only hear bits and pieces of it. The only bit that stuck in my head: “I just know she loves me and I love her and there’s nothing left to argue about”. Mmm. That’s true love.

I kept The General up for a solid hour while I ran between the bedroom window and the kitchen window, wearing my glasses, a dark colored hoodie, and wielding a stick that’s normally used to pull our vertical blinds back and forth. The lights were naturally all of, because surely the cops couldn’t see my tiny frame popping back and forth between windows spying on their every move.

Shortly before I had to go to sleep (or quite possibly get kicked out of my own apartment), one cop (which I was calling Calleigh Duquesne) was on the phone with… I don’t know? Headquarters? Telling them what was going down, and that’s right about the time I learned the other cop’s name was McKenna. They dug around the trunk looking for something, which we assumed was an instruction manual on what to do now that they had someone in handcuffs and in the back of the car.

Calleigh Duquesne came into the apartment building a couple of times. We’re assuming it was because someone else had called the police and requested that they be informed of what was going on. I, on the other hand, told the friendly 911 operator that I didn’t care so much. And MAN, am I regretting that now.

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Photo Cards

Stephanie and I had a date that involved bowling, bleeding into bowling balls, and crispy chicken flautas on Sunday. We talked a lot about Christmas, because HEY, IT’S LESS THAN 2 WEEKS AWAY. And we talked about my potential Photo Cards that I must send out, especially after last year’s turned out so incredibly cute and/or cheesy. Stephanie’s agreed to be my professional photographer this year, so now I have to figure out which of all of my clothes matches Riley the best. I don’t think it’s a wise idea for me to ever have children, because if I make this big of a deal out of a Riley/Wendy holiday picture, I can’t imagine the amount of time I’ll put into a whole gigantic family picture type of thing. Matching Christmas sweaters sound like an easy solution, though.

I realized last year that people really love photo cards! I don’t know how many emails and cards I received in return with people going on and on about them. It was kind of painfully adorable, which definitely means I have to do it again. In my advanced years, I get excited about painfully adorable pictures of my dog and I.

We also talked a lot about a surprise Christmas gift for The General, which I was so excited about when I thought it up, I almost peed myself. Now I just have to figure out how to execute it. Last time I was in a relationship over Christmas, I didn’t get anything from the person I was with and I only ended up giving a long sleeved t-shirt from Old Navy and possibly a DVD or a gift certificate to Pizza Hut. Oh, how things have changed.

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hot pockets

I left work early Friday night (since I worked the Sunday prior) and headed to The 3 Day Safety Crew Happy Hour in Bloomington. Turns out, Jenni and I were the only people that showed up from the Sweep Team. We had a drink and then headed out. Later that night, we convened at Matt and Jenni’s new house for the tour (which is fantastic) and then over to Matt’s current apartment for dinner and the Gophers hockey game. We watched the game and then laughed so hard at the following, we had trouble breathing:

  1. Jim Gaffigan’s Hot Pocket bit (?hot pocket?) “Was there some guy in a marketing meeting, “Hey I have an idea how about we fill a pop tart full of nasty meat and cook it in a sleeve thing?”
  2. This exact World of Wireless commercial. WOUCH.
  3. We refilled an airplane bottle of vodka and watched as Cindi smelled it and then poured it in her Buddy’s Orange Soda, all the while thinking it was fancy Absolut Mandarin. The real vodka was in my glass of Ginger Ale, along with some peach schnapps.

When it was discovered I’d never scene Goonies, Matt found his free on-demand movies. We couldn’t decide between Kingpin, American Pimp, Ernest Goes to [Everything], and Gone in 60 Seconds. Luckily, Comcast is a giant piece of shit and none of them worked.

Hot pockets.

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one of these days

There are very few things in my life I wish I could go back and do over again. The one that’s at the top of the list, however, is definitely finishing my college degree. Had I realized, back in the year 1998 when I stopped taking classes at State Fair Community College in favorite of becoming the assistant manager at a pizza restaurant, how important it would be when I was all grown up and not taking orders for two medium Pricebuster pizzas for the low, low price of $12.99.

I still think about it on a regular basis and still have full intention of getting a degree. I know just know the best way for me to do it is going to be via some sort of the various Online Degrees that they have available. And even then it’s going to be one heck of a time trying to get me to concentrate solely on that and not on my fantasy football lineup, checking Facebook 6540 times, and making sure I don’t have any pressing work email to tend to at 9pm at night. (Note: I never do.)

So, that’s my serious goal within the next five years. I want to get to a place, mainly financially and where I’m more focused, to finish my degree. I don’t even care in what, although the more episodes I watch of CSI: Miami, the more I want to look into that line of work. And yet that doesn’t really match well with my human resources-related career.

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master kingpin

I’ve been subbing in the Pizza and Beer Bowling League at Southtown Lanes for the past few weeks. I’ve bowled on a couple of different teams, and mainly go because for $13/week, I get beer, pizza, and three games of bowling. That’s a hell of a deal.

The first week I bowled, I think I was very excited to bowl triple digits. I get frustrated at bowling pretty regularly, because I know *how* to do it; I just sometimes execute poorly. And I’m finally realizing it was just because I usually only bowl when I’ve nothing better to do or just want to be taking part in a physical activity will drinking the beer.

Last night, my average was 142. The week prior to that, my average was 128, including one game where I bowled a 169 (and achieved my first turkey ever). And two weeks before that? 114.

I’m tempted to make The General get up early Sunday morning and go bowling, where the games are only 99 cents before noon since I won’t be substitute bowling this coming Wednesday. Although, it usually winds up with The General getting up WAY before me.

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Still not answering

I’m on the phone enough as it is at work, so when I see a call come across my cell phone that I don’t recognize, I automatically get suspicious. A lot of times, I’ll throw the number into Google and attempt to find out who’s bugging me in the middle of the day (and typically not leaving messages). Sometimes the results I get aren’t very helpful, but other times my dear internet will alert me to the fact that the people calling are from a siding company in Rosemount that have been bothering me for three years ever since I registered for some free trip they were sponsoring at the Minneapolis Women’s Expo. Those people? I don’t want to talk to. And thanks to Phone Number Reporting, I can post their number online and let everyone know who to avoid in the middle of their work day. What can I say? I like helping people.