look, it’s my previous job!

Dear Job Seekers,

I found a job for you all. Despite the lengthy job description, they forgot to mention things that I would like to include for you:

  • Must be able to deal with a giant douchebag, who needs to be kicked repeatedly in the balls, as a manager.
  • Will have to work with a team of people that are so complacent with their lives that they have no goals, other than sit around and mooch on someone else’s hard work and commission.
  • Must be willing to work with upper management that tell more lies than the current administration and/or Pinocchio. Combined.
  • Willing to give up any type of incentive vacation to some fancy pants island because all of a sudden the Vice President of Sales decides he has a different plan. And must be willing to accept that plan might quite possibly be getting fired for things completely beyond your control, despite the fact that you’ve achieved everything on your lovely performance improvement plan.

BUT I’M NOT BITTER. And enjoy your new job!


(And P.S.? Getting fired from that shit hole place? Possibly the best thing that ever happened to me, especially considering I have the best job ever now. And I’m not just saying that because I think some smarmy co-workers enjoy telling everyone about my blog, like they did in the position that I just linked to above.)

What's up?