the most stunning ring ever

The General and I have talked a lot about getting some pepper spray to take with us when we go to the dog park. It’s not that either one of us are scared of the dogs attacking us, but moreso other dogs attacking our dogs. The General’s dog was attacked a couple of months ago and the only thing around to help get the other dog off of Kentucky was a stick. We later found out via animal control that it’s legal to use pepper spray for just that reason, making the Keychain mace a pretty good idea. But considering our keychains already look way too much like ones a janitor might carry around, it might be a bit much.

The good news? They have a pepper spray ring. Yes, I said that, a pepper spray ring. It’s “a beautiful self-defense ring with pepper spray, offers safety, elegance and confidence close at hand.”

I’m picturing myself walking Riley one night before bed, just me, my gigantic pansy of a dog, a few poop bags, and one beautiful silver and gold plated ring that could protect me from a sneaky attacker. In my current neighborhood, I’ve never so much as even felt threatened by anyone other than the gigantic dog next door, but it’s kind of an awesome backup plan should the neighborhood wind up transforming into the sketchy place I lived in a few months ago.

Another option The General just pointed out? I could wear it while on the bus. I mean, what happens if Nutsack McGee decides he to adjust my business, too? I’m so weak and fragile that I might not be able to defend myself, and nothing says “back off my lady parts” than a quick one second burst of pepper spray right into his bloodshot, sleep-deprived eye. And with any luck at all, it might just make him think twice about adjusting his own manhood while using public transportation.

One Comment

What's up?