I loved New Kids on the Block back in the day. My friend Angie and I used to walk from her parents’ ceramic supply shop over to Food 4 Less and steal any issue of Bop or SuperTeen that had the New Kids on the cover. I had their posters covering my wall, and I was so intense about that I was disappointed when my grandma bought me a Kirk Cameron poster instead of a New Kids one. I even got in trouble for calling 1-900 NEW KIDS or whatever the number was back in the day. And they retired after switching their name to NKOTB and I think that was the best thing ever. It should have stayed that way.
I mean, c’mon. And you have to watch it until the end, because that’s the only time they have their standard choreographed group dancing that we all grew to love during the Hangin’ Tough phase where everyone got on the floor and did the New Kids Dance.
Joey is still the adorable one that should do all the singing and make the most appearances on camera. Jordan is still the one that needs to come out of the closet and stop pretending he’s interested in grinding up on severely underpaid models. Donnie needs to stop being jealous of Marky Mark, and realize he’s never gonna have abs like his baby brother. And Danny and Jon need to just tell the rest of these jackasses that they have better things to do than make the occasional appearance on camera just to appease the girls that think they can’t get with the other three New Kids on the Block because they’re way too fine.
And, yes, I’ll probably wind up at their damn concert when they come here.