two dolla

twitter updates for 2008-05-31

• Pretty sure the receptionist at my chiropractor’s office got way too carried away with some lip enhancement injections. #
• Brunch outside? Awesome even in Bloomington. #
• If someone could tell me why the life size version of Dora the Explorer wears a belly shirt, I would be eternally grateful. #
• The Kid and I just got absolutely drenched on the log ride at the mall. I look like I peed myself. #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-30

• I am dead tired. And we didn’t even stay up doin it all night. #
• Gine Hole just stormed out pissed off and I may have only been partially responsible for it. #
• My favorite coworker talks about brunch and Doomtree. I love her a lot. #
• @amelia23 Noooooooooo!!!!! #
• I kinda love that I have to double check texts just to make sure its going to a specific person and not but of Twitter. #
• I wish my work bathroom was like the one at First Ave so the entire warehouse district could see my bare ass right now. #
• Gine Hole is a giant crybaby today and I would like to kick her in the neck. Except I have on fancy shoes, so I can’t. #

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oh clay

So, what’s up? I kinda miss the internet during the day. Not so much at night, though, because I’m too busy, you know, making out and holding hands and generally being super schmoopy. And I’d pick that over the internet any ol’ day. Because, hi, two week and two day anniversary today. Just sayin’.

And right now, I have like half an hour before I need to unpack my car from camping last weekend and picking up my apartment and sort laundry and do dishes and even maybe take a nap. While I’ve been working and not spending all my free time on the internets, I’ve missed a lot. Like the following:

• A song called Missouri
• Clay Aiken is having a kid. What the hell, Clay? I totally had plans on getting you knocked up, son.

I can’t even find anything to top the fact that Clay Fucking Aiken is gonna have a kid. I can’t wait to read that kid’s auto-biography.

twitter updates for 2008-05-29

• My coworker is looking for a midget to wear an Elmo costume for his niece’s birthday. And he is totally serious. #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-28

• Riley just had his first ice cream cone and The Kid is incredible. Like knots in my stomach incredible. #
• 3 nights of tent sleeping and I am pretty sure my lower back just needs to be completely replaced. #
• If I only had some fly sunglasses today, I would probably be arrested for being the biggest pimp in all the land. #
• The toilets at my work have such strong water pressure that my butt often gets washed if I’m not careful. #
• Two seconds away from punching Gine Hole square in the jaw. #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-27

• I am so not ready for real grown up life to start back up tomorrow. Camping, boozing, and making out makes for an awesome weekend. #
• Sleeping alone for the first time since Wednesday and it pretty much sucks. Holy crap, I am lame. #
• My car smells so horrible and it’s an unidentified smell, which is kinda scary. #
• I am meeting The Kid tonight. And holy balls, am I nervous. #
• Marky Mark it playing overhead right now. And you are damn right I still know all the words. #
• @fontosaurus nope! sorry, dude. #
• @rickmcmillin my money is on this one being a boy! #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-26

• Back to civilization. Jury’s still out on whether or not I want to be back! #
• I am taking quite possibly the best bath of all time. Campground showers? Not 100% effective! #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-23

• We just found the best burgers in the world!! #
• @suzi109 they were at target and now they are going camping with us! #
• “I’m double dipping because I’ve had my tongue in your mouth.” I have the best lines ever. #
• @borninazoo it’s even better when they don’t even bat an eye when you say it. #
• I will probably die of anticipation and/or excitement before the day ends. Yay for hong camping weekends! #
• @fontosaurus yes. exactly. #
• Some girl is talking to me while I am peeing at work. I have boundary issues with this! #
• I love conducting phone interviews SO much. #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-22

• Left my cash and my debit card at home. No lunch for me today. So sad. #
• I have a co-worker that I would like to punch in the gine hole and in a non pleasant way. #
• @suzi109 absolutely! and thanks for teaching it to me! #
• There’s a missed connections post on craigslist thats totally for me. It totally made me giggle. #
• About to fill my night with cleaning my car, the dog park, packing, shopping for camping, and making out. Who have I turned into? #

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twitter updates for 2008-05-21

• Post coital peanut butter sammiches. Just sayin. #
• @best_day_ever and you make fun of me?? #
• @best_day_ever i’m super hardcore…. at something i’m sure! #
• Hot dogs at Target for lunch was not the best idea I’ve had in the last 24 hours. #
• Passed up 7th row Twins tickets for tonight. They were totally Carl Pohlad’s seats. And I clearly must be smitten. #

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